Sunday, November 8, 2009

MPS

I was gonna title this post "Terrorism" because I have been terrorizing people, not in the way of blowing up people...no no no...But I didn't want google on my ass. So its blank.
I haven't been releasing poisonous gas, but natural gas.
Let me explain.

It all started some days ago, when M, the ugandan au-pair, gave me beans and dodo for lunch. Since then, I have sorta been releasing silent dangerous gas.
One day we were all in the car.
My brain sent a signal to my stomach.
"Dude...its time to release the nerve gas"
Stomach goes "Yessir!" next thing...
A silent "pffffff" and a "nice" smell filled the car.
And of course as a sharp naija boi, I had to wind down the window, and put on my innocent face. Before innocents were harmed...haha!
Last night, I was farting at the rate of 5 farts every 10 mins...(Maybe)
So lets calculate the Fart Rate, or Mess rate(MR)

MR= 5/10*60 =5/600
so my MR is 0.00833 MPS(MEss per second).
Chei! Beans!
I am sure it was the beans. Well, so I have a mess rate of 0.00833.
Whats yours ehn?
Lol.
Am I the world champion? Will I get the gold medal at the next MessOlympics or Fartolympics where all contestants will first demolish a whole plate of beans before taking part?
Men.
You should have seen me in church. I hadn't even had breakfast.
Yet I maintained a steady MR.
Luckily, there was an extra row between me and the next person...
Hehe...
I feel my belly rumbling..
See you guys later!

2 comments:

sunnyside said...

first time here... nice blog
and careful with the beansssss..lol

Myne Whitman said...

OMG, I just burst a gut reading this. Please stop the terrorism, OK? LOL