Tuesday, July 29, 2008


I turned 27 yesterday. I looked at myself, and was surprised. Once again, God did it for me. It was 10 years ago when a scared disturbed teenager was walking the streets of London convinced no woman would ever love him. Wondering where his life was leading to. He craved love at that age, but it wasn't given. What was given was a lot of abuse, and put downs from people who were supposed to be close to him. He constantly craved approval, wanting to know what he was good at.
10 years since he decided he was going to make it, and be free one day. Making that vow even with a non existent self esteem.
Now I look back and I smile. Back then I wanted to be loved and important, and to feel manly. On my birthday, one of my main friends here, and some others, spent their cash on me, and threw me a birthday party. Pictures are on facebook, but not on my profile :-). My guys realli took care of me, and I had loadsa fun.
Madam called me first thing after midnight...I love this woman, she knows me, understands my weaknesses, and strengths, its awesome. If someone had told me 10 years ago, that one day I would be with the woman of my dreams, I would have shaken my head.
Now, all thats left is for God to take it to the level where I will be producing my offspring. And she was scared that I would be alone for my birthday, but I wasn't.
I did not feel alone, and I had fun. What happened the next day, i.e today, is another story.
Some people close to me are not in this world, and did not live to see their next birthdays. So I am grateful to him.
Thanks to all my guys, including pimp daddy for organizing this. Thanks to madam for her love and support...I always pray that God and his son Jesus Christ give me the grace to love u the way u deserve to be loved.
Ok, enuff of all this mushy stuff....lets enter anaconda levels.
Today I was walking and saw this big big big something....and anaconda said...
"see foolish guys wanting to read abt anaconda!" hahahahaha.
As for my Job hunt, I believe God, and that he will give me the best for me.
Its well.
Love u all.

Wavemasta is out...27 and counting...Ol boi, I don old ooo...lol

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Moved out

Moved out of the "spaceboxes". Housing accommodation provided by the school authorities for international students. Better than unilag standards fine, but as expensive as hell, and a rip off. Place looked like Alcatraz. Or more like a Psych ward, on account of the white walls.
The school guys are kicking us out, we had till the end of the month to vacate the premises. To go where? It's none of their business. They got new international students coming in, and they have once again hiked up the prices...so you can all see why I had to do an extra job. I took madams advice, and moved in with my bro, he's in naija now, so I got the crib to myself. And no, I am not gonna throw a house party.
I'm as tired as hell.
Took madams advice again, invited my naija boiz for a night at my place. Lots of shayo, meat, etc. I got some champagne given to my by my former boss on Friday, to congratulate me on being one of four guys who would graduate on time from the Computer Engineering MSc. It was nice, I invited felix, and we all shayoed and gisted....then I got kwok to come over, and help me move.
I have been moving all my stuff, but now I am tired, got another interview 2moro, and lets see. I still have to go back and clean out my former room, else, I don't get my deposit back.
These guys just mooched off international students like anything, and the dutch students pay less...and they say they want to promote integration, and "internationalization"...all this big big grammar....I shake my head.
I want to officially announce that I have been able to seal my anaconda, at least for the time being...no more spooky blue lights.

And yes I joined a group on facebook, called "Lil wayne is the worst rapper ever". And I seriously agree. Theres this nice video showing how he stole other peoples lines...and theres this picture of him kissing Birdman, I mean....WTF?
What kinda song is "Lollipop"..ok fine, it's catchy and all that, but he-llooo?
One of my guys just came back from naija, and I got all the latest naija jamz on my pc....alaba boiz aint got nuthing on me....lol..
Still on the lollipop thing, my naija boiz don remix am, theres a Nigerian version of lollipop...don't believe me? Check it out...

Well, I just gotta clean up my thesis, and then get ready for defense and all of that..
Laterz y'all!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

This is my blog.
I can say whatever it is I want, how I want, and if you like it, you can click the little "x" button on the top right side of the screen and leave.
This is the deal. As I am writing this, I have a headache, and I am damn damn horny. Horny as hell.
I've had it with here. I have to find a place to stay in soon, luckily madam forced me to take my brothers help. I will stay there for a bit, till I get my own place..They are off to Nigeria for vacation, and I am just imagining the amount of big big things walking the streets in tight fitting.....


Its my anaconda....its raising its head. Glowing with a blue eerie light. Its been in a state of unrest for a long time. I feel the thirst overtaking me...
I love the person I'm with and I believe in being with one person and staying true to that person. Afam's right...I need bala.
I can see why people say that for a woman its all about the emotions, and touch, and for a guy, it's about release, and until he gets that release, his mind will only be focused on satisfying his thirst.

I have a headache because I have been chasing down bugs in my program, and having to deal with stuck up PHD students telling me "It's my problem". You created the damn device driver you geek, I want to fucking graduate, not stay here. Oh wait...I saw my supervisor today, and we selected my defense jury, and set a date..august next year...shit...sorry, next month (joke).

I'm fed up with arguing with the woman I'm in love with. I think I will just shut the heck up, even if I am annoyed. Anger doesn't work for me, and turns me into something else. You get into a raging fight, and then 10 mins later, ure back apologizing cus u cannot imagine life without this person.

Then in my moments, the evil one resurrects ghosts Ive laid to rest, and tries to torment my mind, and screw up my relationship. I prize relationships above most things cus you can have all the money in the world, and all the success, but if you do not have someone beside you, to share with in the name of love, then I got news for you. Your success aint worth crap.

So yeah I have hung on to this one forever cus I think shes the one.
And yest, I resisted the urge to drown all the raging emotions in a large bottle of wine coming back from my interview. I drink, but I will be damned before I turn into an alcoholic :-).

I sneezed, and the white stuff that came out was looking suspiciously like cum. Its just a matter of time before the thing begins coming out of my nose, ears and mouth.
Damn...I had the misfortune of being born with a conscience.....well its a fortune, I guess. Damn thots running through my mind, of big big things, market women back home, with large fronts and behinds, chicks of all big sizes (not all sizes, fool...no thin ones allowed!), calabar chicks, ondo, benue....damn damn damn, this is not good for me.

Anacondas threatening to "cum-sume" me. Sometimes I feel it stirring, like a slumbering dragon, waiting for the right moments, when the ancient seals will be broken, and evil will be released on every woman who weighs over 70kg. Skinny is definitely for punks. I was at the supermarket last weekend..(now why must it always be a supermarket?), this woman walked in front of me...had the biggest backside, I'd seen in ages...it literally shot out...or in the words of one of my friends here....appeared out of no where. Wearing a skirt. Then one dude who knew her, used that as an excuse to touch her there...cept if I don't remember correctly...
Men, trying to tie down the damn snake proved to be a herculean task. There were times the thing was leading me to go take a second look, till I showed it who was boss.
Alakoba Ejo oshi, foolish snake.

Yeah, whatever, I need to get a life...so do you, else you wouldn't be reading my blog.

E go better, let me go shower, or use the hand techniques....I am graduating with a distinction, God pass them all. Yes, I am going to be faithful and not cheat and screw up...*sigh....

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

What if?

This is about different "what ifs?" Things that scare us...as for me, these are just deep musings of mine.
Put an imaginary "what if" before any line.

What if.....

when we die, we simply find out that all we felt about religion wasn't true?

We meet God and he tells us that..."ol boi, that no sex before marriage thing" was simply a clause put there by political psychophants? :-)(I know say I go come back earth, break someones head)

The pessimists are right and dreams do not come true?

Theres nothing like true love, and being with the one you care about?

When we leave this world, we simply become fertilizer?

A certain man who might change the future of the worlds most powerful nation, doesn't become president?

No matter how many times we pray and fast, things do not get better in our country Nigeria?

Every risk I have taken, or every decision I have made has been the wrong one?

Those gold circle condoms you used when doing the human wheelbarrow weren't safe? And "Ed the virus" is lurking somewhere inside?

My concept of Christianity and God as a friend is just an excuse for me because I cannot live my life like a deeper life member? And follow those incessant do's and don'ts..

I see God and he tells me that based on the above I was just deceiving myself, and I get kaputed?

Theres no hell? ever thought of that?

The person I'm in love with isn't the one for me, and I've simply been blind, and ignoring the signs?

I am actually destined to hook up with a thin (lepa) woman (olorun maje ) (God forbid!!)

My weaknesses never end, and change never occurs?

I never forgive and let go of past hurts and pains, and I end up miserable and alone?

Nigeria suddenly changes and becomes a world black power driven by research and development?

I achieve my dreams and become an IT billionaire and own my own private jet (Even though madam doesn't want one), and I get to have dinner with bill gates?

I actually do achieve my dreams and make my mark in the world?

I marry the woman of my dreams and overcome any obstacles in the way?

I overcome all the weaknesses in me?

I meet God, and he tells me I was on the right track,and he lead me on my own path?

I decide to do PhD instead of getting a job, and its a mistake, and I get caught up in a cycle that I never want to do again?

The world as we see it, isn't the way it is, and we actually can get along with each other and exist in peace and harmony?

We can all learn to love and accept each other, irrespective of age, tribe, race, religion, nationality?

We discover that all the barriers that we think exist, are simply those imposed by ourselves and society? And that they really don't matter?

I am actually the baddest software engineer alive, but I just don't realize it?

I will read this a year or some months from now, lying on a beach or in an exotic hotel some part of the world, holding madam in one hand, a tequila in the other, and laughing at myself a year ago?

I actually am just a dreamer, and I should stop deceiving myself and face the "reality" as some people would see it?

I am actually on the right path, and right now, I am standing in my acres of diamonds, as concerns the country I am in, my relationship with the madam, my job, etc?

So many what if's, where do we go, what do we choose, whats the next step?

God help us all.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Baraje II (Warning---long post!)

After a hectic week, I decided to go out again this weekend. My boys and I planned a party fiesta.Clubbing Friday and Saturday nights back to back. I took the next week off from work, since I had finished the final project with them, and I needed one week to just focus on my master thesis project. So, after resting from work on Friday, we took a train to one of the major cities here, to go clubbing. I had high expectations of the place, till we got there and the bouncers said they didn't know us and it wasn't going to happen tonight.Even though I tried being polite, and explained we were students and all that, they still wouldn't budge. It was so bad, my friends and I fell into a passionate debate about whether they bounced us because we were black. My other friend did not want to take that point of view, but my other one did. Anyways, we tried another club, called "Asta", and we got the same treatment, this time by some black bouncer telling us tonight was supposed to be just "Hard house" music, and so we couldn't get in.

One of my friends had to ask the bouncer what was going on and after explaining that it was the..."three black guys coming to the club together"..phenomenon, we generally got the gist. We went across to another club down the road called "Cocoon", but after paying the entrance fee, we found out the place simply sucked.The music was gay, and there was this dude whom I could swear was gay also. We just decided to forfeit our money and leave. We decided to take the train to another town. One of my friends has vowed to treat any oyibo he sees in naija like crap...he does have a point because some of them come to our country and act like we should kiss their asses, but thats another story.
After dropping at Rotterdam, we met one of my Indonesian friends who was telling us that Hollywood had a special program about Asians. So we tagged along, and lo and behold we got in.
Hollywood represented as always, but the Asians there didn't utilize the gbedu enough, and some of them did not have game. Scenario: theres a girl in front of you winding and stuff, and you just happen to be behind her. Now what would you do? Or..what would "Wizzy"(Lil Wayne) do? answer....grab the damn thing..but did he...nope..see what I mean by lack of game?
I didn't grab, since the madam and I had another argument, of which I am just tired of the whole thing, and I didn't want it to be as if I was looking for solace in another chicks body or something. There was an orobo dancing well though and hitching up her skirts, and she seemed to be looking at me. I wasn't going to go chasing and all that,anyways. She came up beside me and ordered a drink..I attempted a feeble "Hi", but she no respond, I wasn't in the mood anyways. Even Anaconda sef..the guy just dey in hibernate mode.

When we were leaving, we now saw chick fight, a brutal chick fight. Like 3 or more girls attacking just one other girl..and the thing is that the chick they were beating up was someone who would have taken any of them one on one. Their ring leader was one small girl who I am sure could not have been more than 15. Pouncing on the chick, pulling her hair and pulling her to the ground, and some were kicking the chick again.
My friend and I wanted to just leave, to avoid police wahala, and personally I've seen what happens when you attempt drinking panadol for another persons headache, but my other pally being bigger decided to intervene, and we went as back up. Even another guy whom we thought was the chicks boyfriend, was trying to separate them it didn't work. Even the bouncers were acting like botis, in the face of this rack.
There was a policeman, but he had called for back up. Anyways the cops came and took em away, and we were able to leave. The chick they were brushing had blood coming out of her nose, and even when people would try to separate them, the ring leader would still wait, spot an opening, drag the chick down, then the rest of the gang would brush her.
We were like 80% sure this was a fight over a guy. Imagine, at that tender age...na wa oo.

Anyways the next day was Saturday, and I had slept in. I did my laundry, and went to get my groceries, and thats when I saw ..."her". I wasn't sure it was her, so I just went up and did as if I wanted to buy some croissants, and yup, it was Jane. I met her at one church function..was looking to test my lyrics, and make a new friend, and madam and I had split up that time. I hollaed at the chick a few times, thought we'd hang out and ish, but she never replied my offlines, or returned my calls, so I left the runs. I also knew deep inside me I still loved my madam, so I knew all this parole was just an exercise in self deception.

Fastforward to yesterday, and I'm standing in front of her in the supermarket, madam and I had another fight...(AGAIN....arghhhh), and this chick is looking fine...nice hairstyle, nice African wear, and shes like 5'5, with the right body configurations, caramel skin, and looking sweet. So, I just talk, enter psyche mode..."Ohh you haven't returned my calls", etc, etc anyways I invited her for a night out with us, but she had a paper to write, so she said she would be free next week. Called her phone, told her I'd like to see her again (Yeah right), blah blah. Anyways when I told my friend the gist, and mentioned that, men, I still feel what I feel for the madam in spite of her acting up, he was like...well, he can take over the "job" of handling Jane and all that....this is what going to a geek school can do to your hormones...lol. It's like "This na temptation" like P-Squared would sing, but well, it will probably be just a friend thing. I want to be able to sleep at night, and I'm still in love, dammit!

Later at Night, we saw the movie "21" and let me just say that if you haven't seen it yet, then I definitely recommend that you go see that movie. It was one of those movies that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling after you watch it. And its about a gifted genius who wants to get into Harvard medical school, but cannot raise the tuition fee. And his professor (Kevin Spacey), recruits him to join his team of card counters, who basically beat the las Vegas gambling system and make loads of cash in the process. It's about a guy who started out straight, made some unwise choices, learned from his mistakes, and still came out tops..its a 5/5 movie for me, go watch it.

From there we went to the African disco, and we had to kill time because the DJ was late (African Timing as always), there weren't any chicks like last week, and I wasn't going to grab anything. Omo, it sucks having a conscience innit?
Anyways guyz...thats my gist for the weekend..baraje..now I need to go time my application, and get results at least. Speaking of which I have the whole of next week off to focus on my thesis, and I have a couple of interviews, and tomorrow is our farewell ceremony for those of us international MSc students who entered in 2006. Jeez, time does fly, doesn't it?
Love you all.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


Its Friday night, and I am exhausted. I'm referring to last week Friday of course. I had been under a lot of pressure, trying to implement one foolish algorithm for my thesis, but for some reason it didn't work. My friend afam says its lack of bala. I beg to differ.
I didn't go to work that day. Apart from the fact that I'm sorta fed up with the place, I
had to chase my supervisor to fill out my "release" forms. So there was one form he had to fill in committee members for my thesis defense. I just managed to catch him just as he had entered...n he was obviously in a hurry.

wavemasta: Hey prof, please sign these for me.

prof: ok ok (signs hurriedly)

wavemasta: Sir, please fill in the names of my thesis committee members

prof: Thinking

prof: Ahhh Fuck!, cm on I have to talk to people, I cant do this right now, am already late.

Well, na so I carry my self comot....u see say prof fit use f-word anyhow.

Back to my crib men, my brain was still in hibernate, diff companies just dey reject son of man..so I had the idea to go out Friday, but my guy cudnt make it.
Saturday came, my brain kicked in, I was able to apply the algorithm, still was feeling lazy, then I got a call from madam. Shed bin trying to get me to go out for sometime, when I told her I was staying indoors again, she vexed. She asked me to ask one of my friends, but the guy too spiro, or so I felt. So I hooked up with one of my indian friends and a spanish guy, both in first year, and we went out to shayo.
I had already told one of my naija boiz here...I call him the vampire by the way, and its nuthin to do with the fact that hes ibo.
After shayoing with boiz, we entered a nice club with plenty of gbedu...vampire calls me and tells me hes in the area with another vampire friend of his...lets call him slick...hes also Ibo, based in the uk. So I find vampire and slick and we head to the African club in my area.
I stopped going there last year cus I didnt see any point.
You cant meet chicks, and then most of them like to form, and you definitely wont get laid. Not that thats what Im after, but well, thats how the scene is.
Tonight we got there, paid their exorbitant fee to a 5 foot 6 chick with large breasts (Well, they are large!) and then at the bar I meet G...whos from the republic of congo. Yes, congo is so nice, and we men just loveeee congo dont we? Especially when we get to shine...lol
So me, vampire and slick go in, order some beers and sit down. On the dance floor, I see two young chicks. Maybe 18, 19 , winding and grinding. These women do not conform to the International Robolicious (IRO) Organization Standards i.e they arent big like I like em, but they have moves anyways. Next thing, slick declares hes gonna rock em, even if they are with their boyfriends...
I relax and shayo, after all, theyre still playing makossa. Next thing I see slick yarning one of the guys who came with the two girls. Oh, theres a white chick there also...shes rubbing herself over one of em...shes got moves too...
I gist around with G and talk about how stressed up I Was and all....
Vampire enters the dance floor, I notice him dancing with one chick in white...the chicks twisting and all...shes there with a friend, the friend doesnt conform to IRO standands....I sip my beer...
Next thing, my orobometer goes off...I place my beer down and look up to see this amazon...tall, big, and big...dressed simply, not indecently...I sigh, cus am out of the game, and I dont wanna grab things....last time I did that, my anaconda had a wound on it for real...but tis a story for another day. I decide to get on the dance floor. The music takes over me and I begin to jam...I love to dance, I like to think I'm good. I might never be in a dance crew, but I like to rock, and its fun. I dont care about whether or not any woman dances with me, I just want to have fun. The djs hitting us with the latest jams....p-square, 2 face, etc..I notice this chick in green...she also doesn't conform...WTF is wrong with this place anyways? Shes not bad looking, shes winding and coming close to me....anaconda begins to stir...I shut the foolish snake down, the chick dances very close to me...seems she wants to...I'm like why not..so we dance, and am having fun...next thing she turns around..
Day-im....now am faced with the question......As Shakespeare would put it .."To grab or not to grab, that is the question"...as a gentle man, I don't like to grab as in grab...but in cases of dances from behind, theres a kinda way to go around it...I put a hand on her waist, and sorta angle my body away, so that foolish snake doesn't raise his head...she reacts, draws away, dances with another chick....oh well, nothing lost...
Slick is yarning some babe in the corner....I'd like to dance with those two chicks...one of em looked like she'd be checking me out for sometime, but dunno wasn't just in the mood, and I dislike small chicks who form.
I go back and rest, G says I'm a good dancer esp when it comes to hip-hop, but I should learn some more African dances...vampire wants to yarn the chick in white...he wants me to distract her friend..I do so...the chicks smile...they knw wassup...so am dancing with this chick, shes good...then the music changes to hip hop, she turns around, and grinds into me...

ANACONDA:-Yup! I heard my name!
me: shit shit shit

ANACONDA: just go low low, thats right...
me: I correct myself, adjust my body so the foolish snake has no contact....I dance ...

Seems vampire didnt score with the chick in white..he goes over to those young ones, they give him the "look"..u know that look that fake-ass chicks, esp in my former university give....vampire goes away....seems the chick saw that on his forehead.
The night goes like that, I'm tired an exhausted...anaconda spots an orobo dancing and wants to go over...I give him serious warning...anyways some dude is giving her close marking.
Its around 5.30, slick has gotten a chicks phone number, we leave.
We discuss chicks, and all sorts till slicks fone rings.
He switches to one pho-ne accent...its the chick he met at the club...he psyches the chick that he feels honored that shes calling him and he wants to commit suicide because of that..I roll my eyes..then he delivers the killer line....he tells the chick that when she left the club, he felt like there was "no air" like jordin sparks, and cudnt breathe..
Men, my hardened naija chicks no go fall for these yarns...lol
I ride my bike home, give the key back to its owner and crash....
I woke up feeling like a million dollars.....all the stress went off..
Madam advises me to to this more often. I'm not sure what she means by "This"..grab bakassi, or go clubbing......lol.....well this weekend is another time...