Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Acres of Diamonds

I just got inspired to blog about this, cus its about how we go looking outside ourselves for happiness and things we already have. Also I have been cranking my brain, looking for a solution to a requirement for this map application I have to work on, without avail...
Anyways..story story, storyyyy, once upon a time....time time (If you aint Nigerian, just skip this line..lol)
There was this farmer who had a nice farm, and was doing quite well. One day, he heard news about how diamonds were found in a far away land.So this farmer sold everything he had..(yup, including his farm of many years), took the cash, and went searching. He searched far and wide and did not find anything. Many years later, thirsty, despondent, and heartbroken, he died a pauper.
Now back at his farm. the new owner was chilling out one day near the stream behind his crib, and he saw a flash in the stream. On checking it out, he saw it came from an uncut stone. He showed it to an expert who followed him back. They found lots of those rough uncut stones which turned out to be diamonds. The whole farm was littered with them. That farm was supposedly the great serengeti diamond mine, and made the owner rich.
Moral of the story....Diamonds are the koko....ok seriously, the moral of this story is that at this very moment, we are all standing in our very own acres of diamonds. Lots of people feel that leaving the marriage,job, or country will make their lives better. It might,in some cases, but most times, we leave the treasure we have to go searching for it outside. So if youre thinking of looking for diamonds somewhere...check and recheck your backyard, and remember diamonds do not look like diamonds in their normal form.
Example..I got back from a nice holiday with madam...my account was in the negative, and I needed to chop. I checked my store, and I found I had enough foodstuffs...so I made some moimoi, and lets see...I still had some chicken left....now I was panicking before.
Today, I had to get to work. I attempted buying my ticket only to be told I had exceeded my limit.
Here I was all kacked up to go..so with faith sha, I went to the train platform.
Then something was like...I could use my chip to pay..its another method of payment, on the same card, but u put money on it, unlike a normal debit card where you just swipe it. When I tried paying, it turned out I still had some cash on it, sooo I was able to buy my ticket...men na God save me cus the controllers checked tickets on the train, and if I messed up, I for hear am.
So guys, as we say in Nigeria...what you went to look for in Sokoto, is inside your Sokoto(Trousers), sometimes you need to just be patient, look some more, do some extra work..and if you really have to go to Sokoto, God will guide you, amen.
Dont worry, more raunchy anaconda stuff is coming up in my next post, I havent gone soft..lol
Might gist u about my trip to see madam, who knows, who knows..

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Conversations with my Anaconda

Well after listening to Dbanjs "Anaconda", I have been inspired to do a post like this, I just never had time. But After all the torment Ive been through, I decided enough is enough. My post is dedicated to all guys who have found themselves in this situation. Welcome to my new post, called "Conversations with my Anaconda". Like Tpain said in "kiss-kiss"...."if you dont get it, u aint still getting it"...You knw what anaconda means and no, am not talking about the movie with J-lo and Ice cube..and even though I am a confirmed orobomaniac, Im sure that anaconda entered the anaconda book of records for managing to touch J-lo....I can imagine them in Anaconda kingdom yarning:

Anaconda 1 (Slithering through the forest): Ohhh boi, how far now

Anaconda 2 : nna men, see as life harsh ooo, we no see human being squeeze n chop,due to our corrupt leaders chopping all d choppables, omo how u enter that movie sef

Anaconda 1: Omo, I just use style enter the studio act as if say I be robot, omo men, that J-lo, sweeetttt...

Anaconda2: If your wife catch u me I no dey....if she go squeeze brad pitt now, your eye go clear..

Anyways I am digressing from the main post which is me and MY anaconda.

Scene 1

wavemasta wakes up in the morning and looks down....Anaconda is awake

wavemasta: ooooooh u this foolish boi, you don start, dis one na early morning

anaconda: Bros u dey mess up big tym, han han e don tey wen I don chop, man shall not survive by hand, mojo and past memories now, han han

wavemasta: Dis guy u be alakoba, make I study, finish this msc, and besides I don become good boi

anaconda: Omo mehn, leave story, which kin good boi, u don forget that runs wey...

wavemasta: Sharrap! Stupid boi (Big lo impression)...

anaconda: Bros u know say my kinda of anaconda only comes once every generation, bros e no good oh..

wavemasta: Trying to focus and think positively...entering shower and going to work

scene 2: (Work)

wavemasta: Writing serious Java code...next thing

Anaconda: NNa bros, han han wetin, make we look some mojo now (Disclaimer...I dont watch mojos @work...Im no saint, but its unethical)

wavemasta: Dis guy, I dey write code

anaconda: Bros since u begin this msc, u don dey slack, han han for naija na so so point n chop we dey do now, wetin, God dey ohhh

wavemasta: Abegi kip quiet, U knw say I get person

anaconda: Dis guy u go reduce my battery life from 2 hours to 10 mins, full tank no good

wavemasta: I always empty the tank manually, nna men, make I work

anaconda: Bros no be by book u dey take catch woman, han han university no teach u anything

wavemasta: Men this anaconda dey talk true ooo, do me I do you, God no go vex...

Scene 3:(Going Home, walking down the road)

(Big fine orobo chick in front..next thing..)

Anaconda: Damn, omo go scope dis chick now, see bakassi...nna chelu, u dey slack oooo

wavemasta: God, which kin anaconda be dis?

(next thing Angel Appears)

Angel: wavemasta don't, ure a good boi...wait on God to provide your partner then u can break ur record of 6 rounds and make it 10

wavemasta: Anaconda: you don hear? angel don yarn d koko

anaconda: Omo, Angel always dey dull runs for boiz..sha when u get home load one mojo make man survive..na so so lepa, dey for this country, instead make u scope woman, u dey do girlfriend, and na so so book u dey do...

Anaconda: Men, I go show you one day, walahi, I go go on strike like NLC

wavemasta: wait wait, no strike now, calm down, ehn, dnt worry, e go better, I get one tite mojo..
Besides If I dont get my MSc, then no cash, and if no cash, no game!

anaconda: Hmm bribery, but I see your point sha, I go allow you rest small

wavemasta: God, abeg, save ur pikin...

Now lemme get back to work ooooo....Agro and full tank no Good, chei!