Thursday, April 3, 2008

Conversations with my Anaconda

Well after listening to Dbanjs "Anaconda", I have been inspired to do a post like this, I just never had time. But After all the torment Ive been through, I decided enough is enough. My post is dedicated to all guys who have found themselves in this situation. Welcome to my new post, called "Conversations with my Anaconda". Like Tpain said in "kiss-kiss"...."if you dont get it, u aint still getting it"...You knw what anaconda means and no, am not talking about the movie with J-lo and Ice cube..and even though I am a confirmed orobomaniac, Im sure that anaconda entered the anaconda book of records for managing to touch J-lo....I can imagine them in Anaconda kingdom yarning:

Anaconda 1 (Slithering through the forest): Ohhh boi, how far now

Anaconda 2 : nna men, see as life harsh ooo, we no see human being squeeze n chop,due to our corrupt leaders chopping all d choppables, omo how u enter that movie sef

Anaconda 1: Omo, I just use style enter the studio act as if say I be robot, omo men, that J-lo, sweeetttt...

Anaconda2: If your wife catch u me I no dey....if she go squeeze brad pitt now, your eye go clear..

Anyways I am digressing from the main post which is me and MY anaconda.

Scene 1

wavemasta wakes up in the morning and looks down....Anaconda is awake

wavemasta: ooooooh u this foolish boi, you don start, dis one na early morning

anaconda: Bros u dey mess up big tym, han han e don tey wen I don chop, man shall not survive by hand, mojo and past memories now, han han

wavemasta: Dis guy u be alakoba, make I study, finish this msc, and besides I don become good boi

anaconda: Omo mehn, leave story, which kin good boi, u don forget that runs wey...

wavemasta: Sharrap! Stupid boi (Big lo impression)...

anaconda: Bros u know say my kinda of anaconda only comes once every generation, bros e no good oh..

wavemasta: Trying to focus and think positively...entering shower and going to work

scene 2: (Work)

wavemasta: Writing serious Java thing

Anaconda: NNa bros, han han wetin, make we look some mojo now (Disclaimer...I dont watch mojos @work...Im no saint, but its unethical)

wavemasta: Dis guy, I dey write code

anaconda: Bros since u begin this msc, u don dey slack, han han for naija na so so point n chop we dey do now, wetin, God dey ohhh

wavemasta: Abegi kip quiet, U knw say I get person

anaconda: Dis guy u go reduce my battery life from 2 hours to 10 mins, full tank no good

wavemasta: I always empty the tank manually, nna men, make I work

anaconda: Bros no be by book u dey take catch woman, han han university no teach u anything

wavemasta: Men this anaconda dey talk true ooo, do me I do you, God no go vex...

Scene 3:(Going Home, walking down the road)

(Big fine orobo chick in thing..)

Anaconda: Damn, omo go scope dis chick now, see bakassi...nna chelu, u dey slack oooo

wavemasta: God, which kin anaconda be dis?

(next thing Angel Appears)

Angel: wavemasta don't, ure a good boi...wait on God to provide your partner then u can break ur record of 6 rounds and make it 10

wavemasta: Anaconda: you don hear? angel don yarn d koko

anaconda: Omo, Angel always dey dull runs for boiz..sha when u get home load one mojo make man so so lepa, dey for this country, instead make u scope woman, u dey do girlfriend, and na so so book u dey do...

Anaconda: Men, I go show you one day, walahi, I go go on strike like NLC

wavemasta: wait wait, no strike now, calm down, ehn, dnt worry, e go better, I get one tite mojo..
Besides If I dont get my MSc, then no cash, and if no cash, no game!

anaconda: Hmm bribery, but I see your point sha, I go allow you rest small

wavemasta: God, abeg, save ur pikin...

Now lemme get back to work ooooo....Agro and full tank no Good, chei!


ablackjamesbond said... way to put it

Afam Anigbo said...

At the dawn of a new era... Yoshimitsu shall rise again...

N.I.M.M.O said...

Let's just hope Anaconda does not decide to go on strike when you need it most o.

But nothing do you sha.

Nice post, you really are one crazy nerd. I like your sense of focus.

the genius within said...

nice n steady wins d race ..or used cre

Jarrai said...

Anaconda indeed!!!lol. Is that what its called nowadays

Really funny post...

Honeywell said...


Mz. Dee said...

Lmao.. this is hilarious!