Arising...

Alright. I said it. I said the warrior in me won't let me get down, or be depressed...even if I want to. *Sigh

So it picked up like an automatic recovery mechanism...

I actually slept late much later after I had put up my "Father help me" post... R actually woke me up, got up at 5 minutes to one...in the afternoon. We basically spoke and we talked anyways...
So I sat down and looked at my life. I realize its easy to whine and complain, but I needed to make changes. So I decided to make some. And I set new goals.

1. By the end of next year, I would have moved out of this country, to a place I have in mind, and it will be smooth and easy.

So, with that in mind, I also had an epiphany. The situation with R, might be almost the same as my last real relationship, down to all the challenges...but I do have a choice, and I am at a different level of consciousness than I was a year, and 2 years ago..
So yeah I have decided to focus on my goals, and greatness, and giving R, the best that I can. I trust God to direct my path, and prevent me from stumbling. I cannot afford to focus on things I cannot control, or are not important...
If it turns out that R and I are not meant to be...let it all end or run smoothly :-)
Instead of worrying, I can focus on my future and the greatness I have to offer myself, and the world...
Men, I am 10 feet tall and bulletproof! I no fit shout :-)
I feel empowered and in control...I have chosen to be a victor today 22/10/2009. So help me God.
Jah dey sha.