Arising...

Alright. I said it. I said the warrior in me won't let me get down, or be depressed...even if I want to. *Sigh

So it picked up like an automatic recovery mechanism...

I actually slept late much later after I had put up my "Father help me" post... R actually woke me up, got up at 5 minutes to one...in the afternoon. We basically spoke and we talked anyways...
So I sat down and looked at my life. I realize its easy to whine and complain, but I needed to make changes. So I decided to make some. And I set new goals.

1. By the end of next year, I would have moved out of this country, to a place I have in mind, and it will be smooth and easy.

So, with that in mind, I also had an epiphany. The situation with R, might be almost the same as my last real relationship, down to all the challenges...but I do have a choice, and I am at a different level of consciousness than I was a year, and 2 years ago..
So yeah I have decided to focus on my goals, and greatness, and giving R, the best that I can. I trust God to direct my path, and prevent me from stumbling. I cannot afford to focus on things I cannot control, or are not important...
If it turns out that R and I are not meant to be...let it all end or run smoothly :-)
Instead of worrying, I can focus on my future and the greatness I have to offer myself, and the world...
Men, I am 10 feet tall and bulletproof! I no fit shout :-)
I feel empowered and in control...I have chosen to be a victor today 22/10/2009. So help me God.
Jah dey sha.

Father...help me....

I am writing this at home started 3.45 in the morning, and I am sad..sad to the extent that tears are actually present...flowing....

Its a bit crazy so lemme start. I dated someone (yeah its a woman), I felt I was going to get married to. I invested my life, body and heart, and even though I had my own flaws...I still tried to make it work. It was so bad, the fights would leave my right arm weak. After the end of July, I walked away. That was a 3 year relationship.
It was something I had to hold on to, because over here, in this strange land, I was all by myself. Everyone carrying their own cross. I tried working on myself, to be the rock, to be superman, but I guess every superman's got their kryptonite.

I ran into some other issues here. Tough ones. But I had my best buddy here, but he had to go back to naija. So I was left by myself. Then I met D. D, was from the Islands..and she was someone I could talk to. I remember being here all by myself on a sunday, and she was around, and I made her some Eba...she liked it.
We rolled together for a bit, and she's a nice person, but it wasn't gelling. I didn't think it would be right to take advantage of her, so I stopped. But still remained friends and civil with her. After all, I did step up to her, right?

All this was in the wake of looking for a new crib, and not yet seeing any dividends from my biz...though I will persist till I succeed. I found out that the government here chains all migrants to their day jobs. So doing anything extra to fetch cash, like starting your own biz, writing your own books, is seen as illegal. So I knew it was time to bail. I also had one other major issue which I wont discuss here, but was equally as challenging. I was bankrupt, barely surviving. I made a lot of bad financial decisions this year. I take responsibility. I do not blame anyone.

I was strong, took it in good faith.
Then I met R.

R was.... wonderful. We had attended the same university in naija, and I used to admire her from a distance. Then, I was a geek, and just focusing on making a first class. I had a WILD streak inside me, but I buried it, cus university was my last chance to make something of myself.
I met R, 2 months ago via facebook. Gosh, she was what I wanted in a woman, funny, down to earth, committed to raising a home, and she respected my wisdom and wanted me to mentor her..
During my times here, she became my companion. I tried not to rush things, but something became obvious, like I was repeating the pattern of my 3 year relationship..

R was wonderful. I didnt think of her as a rebound. I couldn't wait to hear her voice. Then...we found out we had different religions....first red flag, I guess....but I didn't care...I'd been down that road before...

Then I sorta found out some ish I didnt really really like, about her. And I tried to show love, and compassion, and not to fall apart like I did back then in my 3 year relationship...
But it didn't happen, and she suggested, we let go...we tried fasting about it...
But it just blew up this night...
And well, I decided to let go....
I lay in bed, and thought of if I gave this as a speech, and I began crying. Yeah, strong me. The pillar of inspiration...began shedding tears.
I didn't shed any tears when my 3 year relationship ended...
But I shed tears for R...

Because I seem to have repeated the same pattern, almost down to everything, that I had in my former real relationship...
Religion, seeing stuff I didn't like....leaving...
And I cant go through the mental torture again...

I am tired of being along, tired of living in this strange land by myself, tired of coming home to an empty house..

I know this is part of the walk towards my destiny, but like Jesus, I want this cup taken away from me.

I find someone I like...gosh, I loved R...
But shes gone, and I think I gotta let go..

I wish God wud hear me and show me who I am meant to marry for Gods sake...am tired of seeing everyone around me get hitched. My best buddy went back to naija because of this..

I fucking miss R. And I am asking myself, why this same cycle had to repeat itself again.

The only thing is it took 3 months instead of 3 years...

And even though I want to feel down, the warrior in me wont let me do so...

Shit!

Father help me, I can't sleep.

R... I am sorry, if you ever read this. Maybe I am writing this to....I dunno...
But I think these tears are real.
And blogging gives me therapy, I think.

Sorry R, that I couldn't handle it....I wish you the best...
Tried not to judge but I guess it all blew up...

There are many fishes in the sea, but theres only one R.
I feel relieved, I feel sad, I wish u were in my arms.

If you are reading this, and you leave a foolish comment...God help you.
Even men grieve. Let me be.
But if you have something encouraging to say, fine.

I am going back to my life, and to walk the road towards my greatness...
Father help me....I am alone.

Back

Its been ages since I blogged....since July..wow! 3 months popping. Well, a lots been happening, where do I start from?
I'm now single again, and in no hurry to settle down again. I have been working a lot on myself, and adding value to people, and all that. Ive set new goals, and my life is now on Turbo pilot right now, but I aint worried because it will be fine.
I'm tired of this country, and working on my bail out plan. I cant stay in a place where the government has stupid laws prohibiting foreigners from earning money from other sources out of their day jobs. Were alasho.
Anyways sha, I miss home, miss the babes, the street, most especially the honeyz.
I came 3rd in my Toastmasters Table topics competition last week, I also was on the organizing committee... working my butt of..man, e no easy.
Something happened to me today...I ran into a blast from the past...I dunno if its a good thing or not.
Anyways. I wonder whats happening in my country. Its gotten to the extent that I do not like to even read Nigerian newspapers or sites, because they are filled with so much negativity and taking that into you every morning isn't going to help me at all.
I have some very wonderful female friends in my life God has blessed me with. Its funny...I wonder when or how my spouse will show up.
Speaking of spouses, everyones getting hitched. Gone were the days when guys wanted to make as much cash as possible before that. I mean, I know 2 of my guys still studying for their MSC's at my former university...yeah, that university which almost drove me mad...and they just ran back home and got hitched. It shows the ladies that they don't need to panic, because there are still guys who keep to their promises.
Me, though, with the sort of things going through my head then, I wasn't even seriously considering getting married. All my thoughts were about finishing the MSc as soon as possible!
Anyways sha, I wish everyone the best. I believe I am walking on my own path, and God help us all :-)
I have a brainwave for a new Straffe Okon novel..
Wud keep una posted.

Agent S Okon 7

Reader Discretion is Advised

As he lay bruised and bleeding on the ground, straffe wondered how his life had come to this. He remembered after he had finished with Li Chang, and being debriefed by Ibrahim, in the deep subterranean offices of the CABAL.
Ibrahim looked really serious, at least this time he wasn't watching porn. He remembered looking at the contents of the disc which Li Chang had given him after a round of earth shattering sex.
"Okon, I have never known another man like you", the assassin purred in his ear, licking the outer area with her tongue, her voluptuous bosom heaving up and down. "I wanted so much to be taken by 'him', but you are like no other". By 'him' she meant the enigmatic chinaman. The shadowy figure behind the recent wave of female kidnappings in lagos state. Most of the victims were prostitutes, or girls no one would care about, so this ruled out MEND. Besides this had nothing to do with oil.

The chinaman was using the females as test subjects for something called 'Operation Black Magic' a project involving the use of DNA extracted from Nigerians to synthesize a 'fountain of youth' formula. Anyone who ingested this was instantly rejuvenated. And such a drug would sell for millions on the black market, so this was something a lot of international businessmen had a stake in.
They had gotten the location of the lab, where the final test was meant to be done, and after that, the chinaman was going to leave Nigeria finally with the prototype, which would be further synthesized beyond the shores of this country.
'We have to stop the final test Okon!' Ibrahim boomed. 'If we allow them to leave with the prototype, it will trigger a genocide, involving our people!'

The idea of a world without his big beautiful naija sisters, and being consigned to a lifetime of friendship with his right hand, held no appeal for our hero. Actually he didn't need his right hand since other nationalities were available, but you get the picture.
So, he had located the secret lab, taken out the guards, and was about to strap explosives to the containment chamber holding the chemicals, when he felt a numbing pain between his shoulder blades. He collapsed on the ground, and as he struggled to get up, a foot caught him in his ribs, followed by a left hook to his jaw. He went down again, and through a red haze, he could make out the features of his attacker.
High cheek bones, distinctly Asian, or Chinese, slanted eyes.
'Who are you?' he gasped.....
I am 'Nuo Long Tin' the man sneered. 'Wait, the Chinaman!' Okon exclaimed. 'Yes I am called that in some circles' the man said. 'And I can tell you came here to stop me, but you cannot hope to defeat me'. The man went into a martial arts stance, and launched a kick at Okons chest. At the last moment he moved out of the way. No way he was getting injured. Since his country didn't have health insurance..
Nuo Long Tin stalked him like a cat. 'I am a trained killer, and have killed with my bare hands.' 'I have also trained in advanced martial arts', he bragged.

'But I sabi one tin wey u no sabi' Okon said in pidgin english...
What did you say? asked the chinaman...
'This', Okon said, as he kicked the chinaman in the balls. Twice. Hard. The man went down like a bowling pin. He noticed a measuring cylinder or something similar and slammed it over the mans head. Not as effective as a Star or Gulder bottle, but effective.
Later on, following a call to the CABAL's clean-up crew, the unconscious Nuo Long Tin, was bound, and taken away, and the chemicals,destroyed. Okon was nowhere to be found.

'Why isn't he answering his cell phone?' Ibrahim asked in exasperation. He'd been trying to call Staffe for days, but the agent wasn't picking up his calls. He was also grumpy as his wife had found his porn collection, and was getting all spiritual on him..

EPILOGUE

The woman moaned with pleasure, feeling the waves ride down the base of her spine, as he licked the insides of her thick thighs slowly, ever so slowly, till he got to her enormous backside, which he began to bite softly....the woman moaned even louder, as she felt the throes of an orgasm consume her...again, for the fifth time.
The man bent her over, and slid inside her, holding her large ass...'Nackson aint got nothing on me', he thought, as he ignored the buzz of his cellphone as he pounded inside her hard. He felt himself, about to come....as his orgasm arrived, he smiled....
His name was Straffe Okon, and he was doing what he did best. ....

Tribute to MJ

I was on facebook a couple of nights ago, and I saw status messages about Micheal Jacksons death. I was like, hell no...MJ was one of those people that you just felt would be around for ages. I went up to check CNN, and I Stayed up waiting for a confirmation, till it came around 2 am my time, that the legend had passed on...
I wanted to do a post about MJ but I was sooo lazy about it..but he deserves it...so here goes:

I remember when I was young, in what seems like a lifetime ago..
seeing this guy on TV with amazing dance steps..
Absolutely fascinating to a young kid like me...
My older sis had paper and magazine clips of you...
She used to keep em in an album.
Although now shes spiro (Spiritual), so she might deny that (lol)
I wanted to do a drawing of you, and I asked her how to spell 'Jackson'
Thats when I discovered that 'son' wasn't 'sin'
I watched 'Thriller' with my neighbors then, and I remember us running to the far corner of the room
cus we felt em zombies were actually coming for us
I actually got the thriller album as a gift then...
And even though you evolved as time went by.
You were an inspiration to kids, dancers, and all alike
I watched the video to learn how to moonwalk
All in a bid to attract chicks of course..hehe
I am sorry about the parasites you had around you
I am sure those allegations were fake anyways
Fools wanting to reap where they didn't sow..
I am watching ginuwine on TV now
I'm sure you inspired him in some way..
Well dude, hope you are in a better place...
Maybe 'thrilling' the angels...
I'm sorry about your lost childhood and stuff..
I have my opinion but make dem no kan sue me..
I got into university, and my boys and I (Fellow geeks)
were eating lunch at one buka (You wont know that)
And 'smooth criminal' came on...
And we stayed behind watching the video..
Even Ike, the most hardened cynic of us all...
Was tripping for your stepping...
Instead of studying, we were reading MJ102..
When some fools who felt they were cool..
Wanted to make fun of me....
They used to call me 'wacko jacko'
I only later discovered what it meant..
Well man, I have to go..
'Beat it' just came on the TV..
As a thought, I wonder how you had a doc in the house
And you still had cardiac arrest..
Hmm, well dat na my own sha..
God knows all and will judge accordingly
You made us blacks proud..
Even with your skin issues and all...
RIP bro...
You ARE a legend..
And I don't think anyone will ever take your crown..

Wavemasta..

Just found this video explaining why you did stuff to your skin..
Amazing how people just like to judge..
But I guess we humans are like that..
MJ sun re o! (Sleep well o!)



PS: If you drop a comment, please drop a line for MJ...no hating please...thanks!

Ouch! I had my wisdom teeth taken out, on the left side of my mouth...now my left ear has an ache, and my teeth also in that region...whats a brother supposed to do...all because I wan do fine boy? And I went to the bone surgeon's twice....today he just told me there was nothing he could do, and that I should give it time. I got some pain killers (Which I had to ask for), and thats it.
I have been very lazy, and left off martial arts training for like 2 weeks now...I need to get back and practice again... Toastmasters was nice..I won a speaker award last meeting..and someone said its a Nigerian thing, referring to my ability to be spontaneous and to come up with ideas on the spot. My friend told me he didn't want to sound nasty, but he felt it was inborn, i.e that we were all smooth talkers, and he mentioned he'd met some of us who were con-artists....the way my guy was like 'Damn! You guys are good' expression. Anyways he agreed with me that it's just a few of us using our 'talents' for bad things, and obviously they all know (Thanks to people like me), that not all Nigerians are like that. I have made myself, an unofficial one-man ambassador of Nigeria, ko easy sha, but I dey try.

On the chicks side, men, my armor seems to be cracking...see, this prayer of 'Lead us not into temptation' men, some kinds of temptations exist such that, you will walk into it as if you are in a trance...Now, even though I don't condone infidelity in any side of the relationship (Man, or woman), I now understand how some men fall...I just think God loves me specially, and he manages to yank me out of stuff ...lol..

For our next toastmasters meeting, I am helping someone with her speech, and it involves me dressing up as a chick...the woman doing the speech is bringing me a wig and a wrapper. Guys, don't roll eyes..this is me...wavemasta...lover of all women big and beautiful (Well, beauty is a plus, but as long as all the 'assets' are present....lol) so, I haven't changed my sexual orientation, or decided to wear women's thongs, and no I am not trying to 'channel my inner woman'..so make una relax.

I haven't been to church in 2 weeks, I gotta go this week...its just that men, my church far small, and as I haven't bought the Audi yet, yes I know excuses hexcuses...hehe..don't worry my soul is intact.

I had a good laugh with a naija friend, looking at some chicks facebook pictures. Women, I love you all, but please, if you don't have a large butt, or a shapely butt, then do not, take those back shot pictures where the lady is looking over her shoulder...I mean this womans own was FLAT...I mean, I could drive a car on it, and not hit any bumps or 'pot-holes' (lol)....My guy was trying to defend the chick telling me that her breasts could compensate for the flatness of the behind, but I staunchly told him...no no....I mean what if I wanted to ...*er.... you know what? Some kid might be reading this...lemme leave the raunchy stuff up to some people.

*Sigh...Life is good anyways...

I have a question for you people...can a dude really be monogamous? I mean, I used to think so, but events have been happening and I have been philosophizing about it...funny how much time you got to think when you live alone...
Now I am not asking this question because I have 'plans'....its just a question...I know female folk can stay more than 2 years without it...but can a dude do that? Even if he might not wanna hit it...he still might want to test his 'hunter' instinct...this is no battle of the sexes..just been doing some thinking..

Anyways, I gotta go chop...remember make love, and not war..

Men, let me blog this thing before it gets to the end of the month and I haven't updated. A lot has been happening sha, but lemme start.
I almost fell into temptation sha, ko easy, God helped me out of the thing. I now realize that as a guy its only God that can save you, because there are some things that you see, and you will just enter 'hunter mode', funny thing was that I feel, and want to believe that if I had gone home and slept and spent two days on it, my 'rational mind' would have kicked in....you know the one which reminds you of your commitments and blah blah. But I think God stepped in...so my brothers out there, just pray that jah doesn't allow you to meet your waterloo..
Speaking of commitments, I can say I have learned a lot about myself, and about what I can and cannot stand in a woman, and one of those characteristics I cannot stand is that shes 'Thin'! ewwwww.....(I have cake beside me...don't want to lose my appetite)
Afrobabe said one benue babe would finish me in my last post....see, lets put this thing to the test, last man standing...hmm, let me not begin calling my oriki for you..lol...
Men, work has just been there, 3 projects all on my head, and me just coding and coding trying to reach the customers deadline. Luckily we have ANOTHER holiday (Eat your heart out guys!) on monday, so I get 4 days...bliss..
Now, all I need is a large calabar babe to....preach to...lemmme win 'souls'...
Lets talk football. Yeah football.....
Now I am not a footie fan, I am more of a political football fan.
Lemme break it down for you.
My number one team is Man U.
Then, if arsenal plays another team, I always support arsenal.
Then if arsenal and man u jam, I always support man U.
Yes, its dirty, sleazy, and amala politic-like, but its my system, and I'm sticking to it! lol...
There was so much beef against man U esp when they lost....is it the inherent dislike for people who are at the top of their game, or was this just friendly 'yabs' in the name of football? Some nigerian dude went and drove a van into Barca supporters, and killed 4 of em.
I stopped being so interested in football, after peter rufai messed up at france 98. I mean why on earth would you go clubbing the night before a match?
Then when I saw a player being driven to work in his hummer, I asked myself one question:

'Who's gonna watch you on TV, wavemasta'?

And I decided to make a future for myself, instead of killing myself like nigerians do, over guys who will make millions from a single match, win or lost. Don't get me wrong. I don't hate the game....I just do not understand lengths people take it to.

I have goals, and dreams, written goals with plans to make them happen. I have burnt my bridges and theres no turning back....

My friend and colleague at work was gisting me about ways of scoping chicks here, because frankly I had to ask, though I wasn't going to implement:

'Why do dutch girls act like they don't like to have sex?'

I mean, for a country known as the sex capital of europe...I mean I had a former classmate suggest I go stay in a room with one of the prostitutes in the red light district, and that would take care of free accommodation....I wondered if it was just me, or why were they acting as if they had things stuck up their backsides?
My friend was telling me that well, they want a lot (Typical chick behavior), and they are always sizing the guy up to see if he has a good position at work so he can take them for vacations....kai.......
He then told me of how an African man walked up to his chick and demanded her phone number just like that...lol....she went home fuming and told my guy, of course he found it funny...which is why he kept saying 'hmm here, we cannot do it like they do it in Africa'...oh and my friends black, but theres some white in him somewhere...
I felt sorry for his poor wife..lol...maybe our brother was tired of all the agro,and decided to 'take the kingdom' by force.....

I had a nice toastmasters meeting today, I was grammarian of the evening, which mean't I was in charge of monitoring peoples 'bullets' shot during the course of their speeches....a role I destroyed naija style...lol...
My romanian friend is my mentor...very nice one though, I think she will make a good teacher....

Now before I go, lemme show you a picture of another fine bebe (Ibo accent), I am going to buy. I claim it in Jesus name, loruko jesu, amin, amin...all enemies that want to prevent me from stepping into my destiny, fall down and (insert favorite torture here)...
This bebe in fact, odikwa riski, not to have this bebe...

Her name is BMW (Be My Wife) X6....
Please dear, will you marry me....chei...aristo...do I hear an amen somebody? LOL!



Now guys, my tea and cake are calling me at past one o clock sat morning...

I miss my (non-existent) big burriful wife, and lovely kids...

Una go manifest soon, no worries...

Good night people!