So far....musings, R, what next?

I'm listening to gidi lounge, I discovered it during my turbulence days, cus my friend used to play it all night..I just finished listening to Banky W's "Tanker"...dude has talent...
Heres the link to the gidi lounge music player!
Anyways I fired up this blog to just pour out my musings.
See, I'm a guy with lots of big goals, and I don't just dream..I walk my talk, and I do not think like the average dude...
But sometimes, the fear comes, like... "What if I am just deceiving myself?" What if I wake up and I am 40 years old, and I haven't hit one goal of mine?
Scary....but I just erase that thought and focus on my goals..
I got another interview tomorrow and from there I have to give a speech at toastmasters. I haven't given any in months, and I am close to finishing my track.

Even in my professional life, I'm wondering..what am I good at? I am focused on getting a job so I can take care of major needs while I focus on my dreams, but even me, I find myself wondering..."whats my niche? What am I supposed to do?"

My personal life is....non existent, apart from my relationship with R. I have a very freaky nature, but for some reason, I have decided to go the abstinence route (Am sure people who know me will laugh at me)..and I also have this thing for reaching out to chicks... Crazy, crazy, this isn't me. And for some strange reason, If I am in a relationship, I stay faithful because It will affect me even more than the chick..
The thought that the next time I will enjoy the reverse cowgirl will be on my wedding night is freaky! Chei! guys, can wavemasta cope? Find out in the next episode..lol
But I have been told, that if I enter naija, hmmmm, I am in trouble o, with the honeyz..and I have been told this by my "children" in the "game" whom I mentored...
Kai...see my life! lol...anyways now I'm doing more positive mentoring, though the other kind is still available to "inner circle" members...hehe..lol

Anyways I was just reminiscing.. my mind went back to the old days with my ex, before R, and yeah I remembered some good times. I tried to shut it out as I have before, because I am trying to focus all my energy on R, right now, and I might be jealous if she was reminiscing on good times with any of her exes ....*the buggers!!*
But yeah I was reminiscing on some of the adventures I had....jumping on planes to go see her without telling people...except I told my mum because she was planning on seeing me when she passed through my area..
So yeah, jumping on planes, leaving my comfort zone, dealing with a whole lot of internal bullshit, making myself a better person so I could be the best boyfriend for her *Then.. then all the fights, me trying to fix it, trying to be Mr mature, Mr understanding, Mr cool, all because I had one foolish voice in my ears telling me why girls went for more older guys, due to some nonsense "maturity" factor..so I guess I was trying to rep for us younger ones..hehe...
I guess things just went downhill, the distance wasn't helping, and I guess even my best efforts didn't save it, and I got tired of the constant fighting, making up, breaking up, and I was tired of being alone, and trying to move the relationship to the next level all myself. I have been here hustling for close to 4 years now, and I hate living in an empty house by myself...trapped by my own principles...
But man, I just remembered some good times, and I guess the experience made me a better man, and I can focus on R....

My ex was a very good person inside, and I could be veryyy frustrating at times, so its possible I am seeing this from one angle...and I hope God gives her own hubby....
I can't say that about some other exes...some I think of them and hiss..naija style...hehe..

Now its time for wavemasta to focus on the R equation :-) or the R formula..lol

Men, sometimes I feel older than my age...lol..
Thing about R is that its almost the same mode of communication...long distance..so I haven't seen or held her yet...So I am working on that...
I was wondering why I sort of felt a feeling of not being totally bonded to R yet, but I guess its just me and because I haven't hung out with her..I mean we haven't seen since I was doing my bachelors back home, and it was just a glimpse from afar.
Boy oh boy...
Thing is now I am seeing big big somethings everywhere, you know like in "The sixth sense" with Bruce Willis, when the kid says in a whispering hushed voice..
"I see dead people..."
Mine is...
"I see, big women, juicy..on the trams....on the trains....calling out to me..."
That my friends is my own sixth sense...hehe..
I wonder how R is doing...I should call, or mail...
But shes understanding...thats R...
Praying it works out jor...jah dey...
Maybe next time, I will blog about my experience with the robots..and I am serious..hehe...
Bye guys...

Turbulence 2

Well gang, its me again. To those of ya who were supportive..thanks.
Well I got back home last night after checking a possible lead for a place to
lay my head, and after lots of frantic phone calls, One of my friends invited me
to come rough it in his place.
I woke up this morning feeling like an alien. I felt like I didn't belong in this house any longer. I woke up hearing the house move as the kids were going to school, but thing is I was just too freaking comfortable in bed. But I was like..hmm if the head of the house opens the room and begins to yell, then wetin?

So I get up, clean myself up and all. I begin to strategize. First I motivated myself by reading about persistence all over and over from "The greatest salesman in the world" then I now began to focus. Its funny...all my friends are no where to be reached, and I am not the kinda person to stress anyone out in any way. I had to holla a friend of mine who I will be buzzing on gmail, and he'd be too busy to talk.
So anyways, I give him the full gist, and then began jisting him about R. When he hears about some similarities to my ex and stuff hes like "Dump her fast" his reason being I do not need distractions. I say, well I'm in love, and he goes that I can fall out of love and its a choice.
Anyways sha, I just keep quiet and not talk, because the person you want me to dump, might have some flaws, but shes been the one being there for me when you never had my time. But sha, he's my friend, so hes just trying to talk, and blah....
I try calling my sister (not my blood one but close to) cus theres one way she speaks and I feel better, but I have been trying her number for ages. It rings, but she never picks it up. I wonder why.
I also tried to call my girlfriend. The number wasn't going, and I'm wondering why I have not heard from her, because I would expect a call at least to check up on me, but maybe shes stuck in traffic or something.
Apart from this whole situation, I am wondering if this relationship will work out this time. I just hope this isn't me repeating some weird subconscious bad pattern, but we will see.
The owner of the house will soon show up, and well, I will just smile as if nothings happening. This shit is just temporary, and if I could make it this far, without going mad, or anything, then it will be well.
I have now learnt first hand how important it is to focus on your dreams, and do not be dependent on anyone. Whether its a company for your paycheck, or someone else for a house. I read this book called "Millionaire republican" by a dude called Wayn Allyn Root, and he said and I quote "Millionaires own...they don't rent".
You have to own your life, your house, your destiny, or you're toast. And you have to pay the price, no matter how steep it is, as long as you are not violating the rights of others, in the pursuit of your dreams.
I guess thats the price I am paying right now. Better to experience the turbulence now then enjoy, than for you to enjoy now, and experience the turbulence later on.

Someone suggested I start selling newspapers. I am not ready to go that route. No matter how many of you think I am proud. I just cant study for an MSc, work for a year, start my own biz, and be hopping bicycles selling newspapers. If you read my earlier posts, you will realize it was hell for me during my MSc days, but I pushed through it. I almost never had a day of rest in this place, without something or the other on my mind..
Now to suffer all that to dey ride bicycle dey deliver paper...I reject it in Jesus name, amen!

I have not told mumsie about the whole scenario, because I don't need wahala for now. Not even my bro here...last thing I need is someone to start talking down to me or treating me like crap because I am under his roof. And mumsie dey show next week, kai! And some of those spiro things I told u about...see, at times I wonder if seriously, they sent "them" after me ..lol..but Jah dey sha. I am a soldier of prosperity...nothing dey happen...I wont give up...lailai!

I would prefer to just rough it. I will still legitimately hit my million mark by next year, and all of you will hear about me. And I will do it without violating the rights of any one.
Cheers people...
Lemme get back to my life.

Ok.....I just added this...
The tax office just called me telling me they had sent me an invitation to come and see them this morning, but I didn't and that it was about my company. I sha told them the whole gist, and how I couldn't give them a proper address because I was bouncing from place to place. The man said a nice bye bye. I hope its buried now, because I do not need any other wahala, but if any more comes (which I pray not) God go help person.
And before that, I called my parents, because I wanted to yarn them the whole koko, but they were in the car about to go to GTB in naija, so I didn't have the heart to tell them then...so I will drop it on them tonight.
I have packed my things into one closet in the room I was staying at pastors crib, and I have one suitcase and some bare essentials.. :-)

Still haven't heard from R. Well we go see....

Am outta here!

Turbulence..

Hey gang...
Well I need to just talk to someone and this is my outlet..
At this moment, my life has been turned upside down literally.
I am officially jobless, and homeless...and I am sitting in a room I have to vacate
surrounded by my luggage.
First things....when you get a job, do not, I repeat, don't live in a company house..cus when they decide they do not want you, then your ass is out.
Anyways, they terminated my contract, then, I went job hunting only to be rejected
because I do not speak the language.
To make matters worse, I sunk most of my cash into my business, but it hasn't yielded any fruits.
So, I am searching for a place and my pastor suggested I move in with him as I wont need to spend cash. I stayed there for the whole of November, But 2 days ago, he tells me I have to bounce because another pastor is coming from naija and needs the room. I thought of going back to my former place, but my former flatmate who said it was ok yesterday, is saying another thing today.

Then about my relationship, well its bittersweet. At times I wonder why I seem to attract women which need some sort of healing into my life. And I always end up knowing them, fixing up their weak points (never taking advantage), but the burdens they seem to come with sort of haunt me.
It happened with my ex, and something similar like this is happening again. I do not know if this is the law of attraction, and I am attracting them into my life via negative reasons, and I am in a dysfunctional relationship(S), or for positive reasons because jah has some grand plan.
I woke up this morning feeling like just bailing out of the whole thing, but I sort of heard something in me telling me to just chill, and not make any rash decisions.
I didn't want to run partly because I am in love with R, and because of selfish reasons.. R has been here with me and supported me all through this, and like I said its bitter sweet.
This was what happened with my ex, and I went on that rollercoaster for 2.5 years before deciding like Abacha "Enuff is Enuff", and walking away.
Also, some spiro shit seems to be going on...I seem to be battling things in my head which I am sure would drive the average man mad...but I am not average, and I am a victor.

I know that my life is being rearranged by God and the universe, because I am going to the next level,and because this year, I set some MAJOR goals... but shit..me, the great wavemasta, homeless, and being kicked about like a football...nna men...
My pastor wanted to hook me up with one dude in church, but I see this brotha every sunday, and no offense, but he looks like he's trying to get by, and he's on govt housing also. And I didn't like the idea of me being bounced up and down like some parasite, and so I began taking my destiny in my own hands.
Imagine, some of my mates are married and some have kids. They all seem happy in their marriages and relationships, but no, its wavemastas own that seems different.

I got no choice sha, but to keep on pushing, and I will ride out this storm, and this relationship thing also, well, like I did before, I will ride it out till the end. Ode-eshi, nothing dey happen.
But I will curse anyone who sees me driving my Audi S5, and thinks I am a drug dealer because I became a billionaire at a young age. Speaking of billionaires, I asked for some feedback from some of my fans about my business and brand.. and one of them was like "Why should I learn from you...its not like you're super successful. Maybe you just read the books"..nna men, I weak....
Well he said it politely, and I did ask for feedback.
So, should I leave R, because issues seem to harsh to deal with? and will wavemasta have to sleep on the streets n hustle? And will wavemastas going-back-to-naija-after-3-years-5-months-in europe become a reality this december?
Stay tuned....

"I was not born in defeat, neither does failure course in my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd. I am a lion, and I refuse to walk, to talk, to sleep with the sheep. The slaughter house of failure is NOT my destiny.I will persist till I succeed" -The greatest salesman in the world.
BOO-YAH!