Its Friday night, and I am exhausted. I'm referring to last week Friday of course. I had been under a lot of pressure, trying to implement one foolish algorithm for my thesis, but for some reason it didn't work. My friend afam says its lack of bala. I beg to differ.
I didn't go to work that day. Apart from the fact that I'm sorta fed up with the place, I
had to chase my supervisor to fill out my "release" forms. So there was one form he had to fill in committee members for my thesis defense. I just managed to catch him just as he had entered...n he was obviously in a hurry.
wavemasta: Hey prof, please sign these for me.
prof: ok ok (signs hurriedly)
wavemasta: Sir, please fill in the names of my thesis committee members
prof: Thinking
prof: Ahhh Fuck!, cm on I have to talk to people, I cant do this right now, am already late.
Well, na so I carry my self comot....u see say prof fit use f-word anyhow.
Back to my crib men, my brain was still in hibernate, diff companies just dey reject son of man..so I had the idea to go out Friday, but my guy cudnt make it.
Saturday came, my brain kicked in, I was able to apply the algorithm, still was feeling lazy, then I got a call from madam. Shed bin trying to get me to go out for sometime, when I told her I was staying indoors again, she vexed. She asked me to ask one of my friends, but the guy too spiro, or so I felt. So I hooked up with one of my indian friends and a spanish guy, both in first year, and we went out to shayo.
I had already told one of my naija boiz here...I call him the vampire by the way, and its nuthin to do with the fact that hes ibo.
After shayoing with boiz, we entered a nice club with plenty of gbedu...vampire calls me and tells me hes in the area with another vampire friend of his...lets call him slick...hes also Ibo, based in the uk. So I find vampire and slick and we head to the African club in my area.
I stopped going there last year cus I didnt see any point.
You cant meet chicks, and then most of them like to form, and you definitely wont get laid. Not that thats what Im after, but well, thats how the scene is.
Tonight we got there, paid their exorbitant fee to a 5 foot 6 chick with large breasts (Well, they are large!) and then at the bar I meet G...whos from the republic of congo. Yes, congo is so nice, and we men just loveeee congo dont we? Especially when we get to shine...lol
So me, vampire and slick go in, order some beers and sit down. On the dance floor, I see two young chicks. Maybe 18, 19 , winding and grinding. These women do not conform to the International Robolicious (IRO) Organization Standards i.e they arent big like I like em, but they have moves anyways. Next thing, slick declares hes gonna rock em, even if they are with their boyfriends...
I relax and shayo, after all, theyre still playing makossa. Next thing I see slick yarning one of the guys who came with the two girls. Oh, theres a white chick there also...shes rubbing herself over one of em...shes got moves too...
I gist around with G and talk about how stressed up I Was and all....
Vampire enters the dance floor, I notice him dancing with one chick in white...the chicks twisting and all...shes there with a friend, the friend doesnt conform to IRO standands....I sip my beer...
Next thing, my orobometer goes off...I place my beer down and look up to see this amazon...tall, big, and big...dressed simply, not indecently...I sigh, cus am out of the game, and I dont wanna grab things....last time I did that, my anaconda had a wound on it for real...but tis a story for another day. I decide to get on the dance floor. The music takes over me and I begin to jam...I love to dance, I like to think I'm good. I might never be in a dance crew, but I like to rock, and its fun. I dont care about whether or not any woman dances with me, I just want to have fun. The djs hitting us with the latest jams....p-square, 2 face, etc..I notice this chick in green...she also doesn't conform...WTF is wrong with this place anyways? Shes not bad looking, shes winding and coming close to me....anaconda begins to stir...I shut the foolish snake down, the chick dances very close to me...seems she wants to...I'm like why not..so we dance, and am having fun...next thing she turns around..
Day-im....now am faced with the question......As Shakespeare would put it .."To grab or not to grab, that is the question"...as a gentle man, I don't like to grab as in grab...but in cases of dances from behind, theres a kinda way to go around it...I put a hand on her waist, and sorta angle my body away, so that foolish snake doesn't raise his head...she reacts, draws away, dances with another chick....oh well, nothing lost...
Slick is yarning some babe in the corner....I'd like to dance with those two chicks...one of em looked like she'd be checking me out for sometime, but dunno wasn't just in the mood, and I dislike small chicks who form.
I go back and rest, G says I'm a good dancer esp when it comes to hip-hop, but I should learn some more African dances...vampire wants to yarn the chick in white...he wants me to distract her friend..I do so...the chicks smile...they knw wassup...so am dancing with this chick, shes good...then the music changes to hip hop, she turns around, and grinds into me...
ANACONDA:-Yup! I heard my name!
me: shit shit shit
ANACONDA: just go low low, thats right...
me: I correct myself, adjust my body so the foolish snake has no contact....I dance ...
Seems vampire didnt score with the chick in white..he goes over to those young ones, they give him the "look"..u know that look that fake-ass chicks, esp in my former university give....vampire goes away....seems the chick saw that on his forehead.
The night goes like that, I'm tired an exhausted...anaconda spots an orobo dancing and wants to go over...I give him serious warning...anyways some dude is giving her close marking.
Its around 5.30, slick has gotten a chicks phone number, we leave.
We discuss chicks, and all sorts till slicks fone rings.
He switches to one pho-ne accent...its the chick he met at the club...he psyches the chick that he feels honored that shes calling him and he wants to commit suicide because of that..I roll my eyes..then he delivers the killer line....he tells the chick that when she left the club, he felt like there was "no air" like jordin sparks, and cudnt breathe..
Men, my hardened naija chicks no go fall for these yarns...lol
I ride my bike home, give the key back to its owner and crash....
I woke up feeling like a million dollars.....all the stress went off..
Madam advises me to to this more often. I'm not sure what she means by "This"..grab bakassi, or go clubbing......lol.....well this weekend is another time...
Laterz!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
from the valley to the mountain..
Someone once told me that at times we need to get to rock bottom, before we finally get to rise and rise. I used to read sayings like that, and used to think that they were simply cliches, until I began to experience them myself. The more I write abt this, the more I realize that what I saw, or the hardship I thought I saw while in my undergraduate dayz in Nigeria is nothing compared to what Ive seen here.
My thesis for example has been one challenging job after another. Combine it with Phd students who look at you like you are foolish when asking questions, and throw in the fact that if you ask too many questions, it can be used against you on your final grading, and you might just get an idea. For the past 3 days men, I hit rock bottom, my motivation was zero, totally zero, I would wake up and try to crank my brain, but my brain was on strike.
Add my job search thing, a fight with the madam, a foolish article I read online, and ....man, I no go die for here. I have had to pray and pray like never before, that God shld just give me the strength to carry on, and push on.
Example. after a week of working with a Phd student, and him rejecting my code over four times because I wasnt giving him a memory access formula, I now asked him how I was gonna run my application. His reply was like.."which application?" In my mind I was like WTF? What other app have we been working on?
And he went on to say that if it was the application we have been working on, I need some special kinda platform(I am being non technical so non geeks can read this), and I cannot use his platform, so I must find one by myself, and he doesn't know how I will do so. Omo, when I read this at work, I just chilled till closing time, ran home, I didn't even waste time, I ran str8 to my faculty, begin look for the equipment. Most of all the geeks there dey hold the thing as if say na Gold....chei, some pple really need to get laid, no, seriously.. I no go to work the next day, shebi my company guys talk say dem no go renew my contract, and I don finish the work wey dem send me.
Anyways, I got the equipment the next day, but then, I just sunk into despair, my strength, gone, it wasn't funny. Sleep eluded me, and I was sleeping at weird hours, waking up at weird hours...Everyone in here is carrying their cross, and my naija boiz are in the same shoes as I am, so no hope there.
And oh, I got bounced from one of my friends places simply cus the guy wan dobo. The whole stiz caused some fight with madam, but well... Anyways the yarinya in question, was drunk as a skunk, I had a lot of wine, but for reasons I don't know, I wasnt drunk. Na so d person wey I go see dey talk say men, "your sleeping here is gonna prevent me from balaing. I look this guy, I said "fine, shey make I go?"
The guy was like, "no now, stay, etc" The yarinya sef dey beg say make I stay, say, "aren't u having fun?" I no wan go back to that box wey I dey stay, so I chilled. Next thing my guys excuse changed to "his flatmate is bringing his friends over and he promised the guy he can sleep in his room"...Na in I waka go my house.
Guilt kan dey worry d guy, so he was like saying, ok ok, In go chill with me at the train station, na in I tell am say abeg, go ur house, cus in my mind, I knew this wasn't from his heart...of course after 5 mins, the guy bade me bye bye and went.
I got to my crib, didn't feel like working, my brain had gone on strike, and to make matters worse....oh, u didn't guess.....anaconda begin dey worry me. Yup, that snake of mine began raising his head, and demanding to be fed..men, the disadvantages of having a conscience, and not wanting to stray. Someone suggested phone s*x....might consider that...So guys, you have all this wahala then add my anacondas wahala, and madams wahala, men, God, save ur son....
I tried mojo, fresh one, with plenty orobos, anaconda no gree, hand sef, the guy no gree. Wetin man go do?
I do not think my friend got to "dobo" anyways.
I will go watch a movie later......and guys, seriously all the suffering here has made me realize that Nigeria isn't such a bad place, like one of my friends yabbed me...na me carry myself go look for MSc.
Laterz!
My thesis for example has been one challenging job after another. Combine it with Phd students who look at you like you are foolish when asking questions, and throw in the fact that if you ask too many questions, it can be used against you on your final grading, and you might just get an idea. For the past 3 days men, I hit rock bottom, my motivation was zero, totally zero, I would wake up and try to crank my brain, but my brain was on strike.
Add my job search thing, a fight with the madam, a foolish article I read online, and ....man, I no go die for here. I have had to pray and pray like never before, that God shld just give me the strength to carry on, and push on.
Example. after a week of working with a Phd student, and him rejecting my code over four times because I wasnt giving him a memory access formula, I now asked him how I was gonna run my application. His reply was like.."which application?" In my mind I was like WTF? What other app have we been working on?
And he went on to say that if it was the application we have been working on, I need some special kinda platform(I am being non technical so non geeks can read this), and I cannot use his platform, so I must find one by myself, and he doesn't know how I will do so. Omo, when I read this at work, I just chilled till closing time, ran home, I didn't even waste time, I ran str8 to my faculty, begin look for the equipment. Most of all the geeks there dey hold the thing as if say na Gold....chei, some pple really need to get laid, no, seriously.. I no go to work the next day, shebi my company guys talk say dem no go renew my contract, and I don finish the work wey dem send me.
Anyways, I got the equipment the next day, but then, I just sunk into despair, my strength, gone, it wasn't funny. Sleep eluded me, and I was sleeping at weird hours, waking up at weird hours...Everyone in here is carrying their cross, and my naija boiz are in the same shoes as I am, so no hope there.
And oh, I got bounced from one of my friends places simply cus the guy wan dobo. The whole stiz caused some fight with madam, but well... Anyways the yarinya in question, was drunk as a skunk, I had a lot of wine, but for reasons I don't know, I wasnt drunk. Na so d person wey I go see dey talk say men, "your sleeping here is gonna prevent me from balaing. I look this guy, I said "fine, shey make I go?"
The guy was like, "no now, stay, etc" The yarinya sef dey beg say make I stay, say, "aren't u having fun?" I no wan go back to that box wey I dey stay, so I chilled. Next thing my guys excuse changed to "his flatmate is bringing his friends over and he promised the guy he can sleep in his room"...Na in I waka go my house.
Guilt kan dey worry d guy, so he was like saying, ok ok, In go chill with me at the train station, na in I tell am say abeg, go ur house, cus in my mind, I knew this wasn't from his heart...of course after 5 mins, the guy bade me bye bye and went.
I got to my crib, didn't feel like working, my brain had gone on strike, and to make matters worse....oh, u didn't guess.....anaconda begin dey worry me. Yup, that snake of mine began raising his head, and demanding to be fed..men, the disadvantages of having a conscience, and not wanting to stray. Someone suggested phone s*x....might consider that...So guys, you have all this wahala then add my anacondas wahala, and madams wahala, men, God, save ur son....
I tried mojo, fresh one, with plenty orobos, anaconda no gree, hand sef, the guy no gree. Wetin man go do?
I do not think my friend got to "dobo" anyways.
I will go watch a movie later......and guys, seriously all the suffering here has made me realize that Nigeria isn't such a bad place, like one of my friends yabbed me...na me carry myself go look for MSc.
Laterz!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
So far
Well well, a lot has been happening my people, now its in the middle of June, dont know where to start.
Ok, my love life...is wonderful. Its the most unconventional relationship Ive bin in, you know I am the master of convention, want things in a specified order, but I guess God chose this path for me. My madams tight men, I just remember how it was like when we first saw when I went out to surprise her for her bday.
Now back to reality. I am still working on this thesis of a thing. I have a few algorithms to apply (non geeks, skip this section), and am still going to my work.
Well as per that place, they decided they weren't gonna renew me contract, gave all sorts of reasons, i.e I wasnt interpreting requirements fast enuff, etc etc, so men, I got home feeling depressed...madam had to calm me down and all that, but am cool now.
Imagine me, the crazy nerd doubting his coding skillz....chei...
Now back to my thesis...I got like 4 code rejections from the Phd student am working with, but sha today, I implemented what I think is a right solution, so I haven't gotten feedback...
Today, I met one Chinese dude , who simply began supplying me with companies to apply to..I applied to. Men these Chinese dudes here know whats up ooo, they got so much information and stuff, so I applied to like 6 companies today. The son of man needs a new crib, to import madam and give her triplets lol, and serious cash, screw school men, I don try with 2 yrs MSc, and I'm even gonna be among the first to graduate, if not the first..
My study program with my new course arrangement got approved, so now my gp is 8/10, cus I was overtaking courses, and selected the ones with the best marks...God dey sha.
What else...I went to church on Saturday ooo, for the first time since march. Na because dem do barbeq, so I just dey chop enuff meat. You know now, it means less cooking for me...lol. And I also went to church on Sunday, where there was food now, cus it was church anniversary.
Men, in church there was this chick wearing....no no, I won't blog about this...but men, when she walked by, even one brother in the lord, stopped, bit his lower lip, and looked at the bakassi...I have my madam and I love her to bits, but I had to admit this bakassi was deadly..you cud even see the panties...men I felt the "spirit"..
So men, crazy nerd is running to finish his thesis report on time, and step into the koko of cash, travel and giving madam triplets, ASAP.
Am I crazy...yeah, try doing an MSc in a freak university (Top rated in Europe), and living for 2 yrs in a metal box (Has Internet thank God), and no women, and u go craze. Speaking of things to prevent craze...I haven't gone clubbing in ages...hmm, I need a reminder.
I am growing up sha, Ive learnt that life isn't black and white, we should always give people the benefit of the doubt, make sure you trust with all ur heart, and don't be afraid to let go, and jump in..fear holds you down, but love sets you free.
And as regards to my last post, I don't think Felix has started his "raw food diet"..
And to the haters...Java rocks....screw .NET!
Ok, my love life...is wonderful. Its the most unconventional relationship Ive bin in, you know I am the master of convention, want things in a specified order, but I guess God chose this path for me. My madams tight men, I just remember how it was like when we first saw when I went out to surprise her for her bday.
Now back to reality. I am still working on this thesis of a thing. I have a few algorithms to apply (non geeks, skip this section), and am still going to my work.
Well as per that place, they decided they weren't gonna renew me contract, gave all sorts of reasons, i.e I wasnt interpreting requirements fast enuff, etc etc, so men, I got home feeling depressed...madam had to calm me down and all that, but am cool now.
Imagine me, the crazy nerd doubting his coding skillz....chei...
Now back to my thesis...I got like 4 code rejections from the Phd student am working with, but sha today, I implemented what I think is a right solution, so I haven't gotten feedback...
Today, I met one Chinese dude , who simply began supplying me with companies to apply to..I applied to. Men these Chinese dudes here know whats up ooo, they got so much information and stuff, so I applied to like 6 companies today. The son of man needs a new crib, to import madam and give her triplets lol, and serious cash, screw school men, I don try with 2 yrs MSc, and I'm even gonna be among the first to graduate, if not the first..
My study program with my new course arrangement got approved, so now my gp is 8/10, cus I was overtaking courses, and selected the ones with the best marks...God dey sha.
What else...I went to church on Saturday ooo, for the first time since march. Na because dem do barbeq, so I just dey chop enuff meat. You know now, it means less cooking for me...lol. And I also went to church on Sunday, where there was food now, cus it was church anniversary.
Men, in church there was this chick wearing....no no, I won't blog about this...but men, when she walked by, even one brother in the lord, stopped, bit his lower lip, and looked at the bakassi...I have my madam and I love her to bits, but I had to admit this bakassi was deadly..you cud even see the panties...men I felt the "spirit"..
So men, crazy nerd is running to finish his thesis report on time, and step into the koko of cash, travel and giving madam triplets, ASAP.
Am I crazy...yeah, try doing an MSc in a freak university (Top rated in Europe), and living for 2 yrs in a metal box (Has Internet thank God), and no women, and u go craze. Speaking of things to prevent craze...I haven't gone clubbing in ages...hmm, I need a reminder.
I am growing up sha, Ive learnt that life isn't black and white, we should always give people the benefit of the doubt, make sure you trust with all ur heart, and don't be afraid to let go, and jump in..fear holds you down, but love sets you free.
And as regards to my last post, I don't think Felix has started his "raw food diet"..
And to the haters...Java rocks....screw .NET!
Monday, June 2, 2008
Raw...yeah, Raw and skin to Chicken Skin
Yes yes I know, I havent blogged in a long time...my people its bin hectic. Your crazy nerd has to work 3 days alongside his Project to pay bills and stuff..ol boi, Jah dey sha. So a lot has been happening, a whole lotta gist. First lemme say madams fine, thanks for asking..shes looking so nice and innocent and stuff, and am proud to have her in my life. Now speaking of madams, I get one gist which will make u laff, and which will make some of you puke.
I got this friend called Felix,a naija guy like moi. We got here together, met at the Dutch Embassy and all, and we kept in touch when we got here, Id go to his crib, spend time and all that, and he did the same. Felix is a nice dude, but he has some very crazy dieting stiz. He's always trying out new experiments. One time it was protein powder. We had to go into one secret corner here looking for it. Thing is when he wants to do stuff like that, he backs it up with "scientific" facts. Then he was like, protein powder is the koko, it helps lose weight...wetin concern me sha.
Now, let me announce to haters that hes my pally, and reads my blog, and I have the license to yab him, so this is no diss post. Now, my friend has some weird chopping habits, which seriously gross me out, such as cooking stew, and then putting the stirring spoon in his mouth...lets just say that us together in the house or kitchen is like ewwww...
Anyways sha, Felix met one hot latino, and I was happy for him, so I went to check him at his new house, which he shared with her, and one other guy..I made them all laff(Naija style), I organized some shayo for them when I was coming and all.
Now felix began to tell me he had one new diet. Wait, ok, guess....guess now..given up? Ok, its...wait for this...""Raw Food".Yup, Felix is like..."wavemasta, Im gonna start a raw food diet"..while I was still attempting to pick my jaw off the ground, Felix began to launch into a tirade on how "scientists" had proved that raw food was good, nice, healthy, etc, and afterall, humankind existed for eons without cooking their food. That weekend, anysmall thing....felix will say "when I start my raw food diet"..ok, check this out.
Wavemasta: Felix, men, (talking about random stuff)
Felix: nuthin dey happen, ehen, when I start my raw food diet...
Wavemasta: entering shutdown mode
Latino chick: Rolling her eyes.
The latino chick kept telling me hes been going on like this all the time...the chick was hot sha, looked like Kelly Hu...but madam don jazz my anaconda, so I no fit do runs ooooo (Joke, Joke!)
Now wait for this..it was Felixs turn to make dinner. When he makes dinner, its like a bad chemistry lab experiment, though his housemates swore that hes a good cook..So he was gonna prepare barbeque chicken. My guy is putting the sauce on the chicken legs and removing the skin from the chickens to apply the sauce directly.
Now guys, if you are the squeamish type, pls dont read, or grab a barf bag, cus the next part of the story is ewwwww.
So my guy is removing the skin from the chicken, and I dont know how my spirit told me he was gonna do what he did....Felix put the chicken skin in his mouth and chewed and eat it....RAW!!!!.
Time stopped..I remember me screaming....then I heard other screams...the latina and the other guy had screamed....we were like "ëwww Gross" my guy begin dey apologize, say sorry, in know say in be beast. Ol boi, thank God say dem see correct person like me, at least as I follow dem shout...dem no go talk say na all naija men dey chop raw food. Anyways, I still chop the shicken, I had to shayo, to erase the memory of the raw food, and yeah it was nice and fun. I jisted madam...she begged me to stop...one of my friends facial expression just changed when I mentioned the chicken skin...yeepa...Me and my friends ehn..
We went to the beach yesterday, and they had bungee jumping. Omo, that thing was scary, esp seeing people doing it. Imagine jumping off a crane with nuthin more than a rubber wire attached to your legs...and it cost 60 euros again. I called madam and threatened to do it....she threatened to break my head...when I sent her the text, she called me back ASAP, straight...lol...who send naija man say make in bungee jump...I also had ice cream pancakes...am just a sucker for pancakes, or pannenkoeken, as we call em in dutch...lol
Ok, lets see,what else, work is going on fine.....I coded for almost 8 hrs 2day...e no easy to be eficco. I'm hoping to finish my thesis this month...And the son of Jah needs cash...no seriously men I need it.
Anyways, if any gist dey, I go yarn una..
I got this friend called Felix,a naija guy like moi. We got here together, met at the Dutch Embassy and all, and we kept in touch when we got here, Id go to his crib, spend time and all that, and he did the same. Felix is a nice dude, but he has some very crazy dieting stiz. He's always trying out new experiments. One time it was protein powder. We had to go into one secret corner here looking for it. Thing is when he wants to do stuff like that, he backs it up with "scientific" facts. Then he was like, protein powder is the koko, it helps lose weight...wetin concern me sha.
Now, let me announce to haters that hes my pally, and reads my blog, and I have the license to yab him, so this is no diss post. Now, my friend has some weird chopping habits, which seriously gross me out, such as cooking stew, and then putting the stirring spoon in his mouth...lets just say that us together in the house or kitchen is like ewwww...
Anyways sha, Felix met one hot latino, and I was happy for him, so I went to check him at his new house, which he shared with her, and one other guy..I made them all laff(Naija style), I organized some shayo for them when I was coming and all.
Now felix began to tell me he had one new diet. Wait, ok, guess....guess now..given up? Ok, its...wait for this...""Raw Food".Yup, Felix is like..."wavemasta, Im gonna start a raw food diet"..while I was still attempting to pick my jaw off the ground, Felix began to launch into a tirade on how "scientists" had proved that raw food was good, nice, healthy, etc, and afterall, humankind existed for eons without cooking their food. That weekend, anysmall thing....felix will say "when I start my raw food diet"..ok, check this out.
Wavemasta: Felix, men, (talking about random stuff)
Felix: nuthin dey happen, ehen, when I start my raw food diet...
Wavemasta: entering shutdown mode
Latino chick: Rolling her eyes.
The latino chick kept telling me hes been going on like this all the time...the chick was hot sha, looked like Kelly Hu...but madam don jazz my anaconda, so I no fit do runs ooooo (Joke, Joke!)
Now wait for this..it was Felixs turn to make dinner. When he makes dinner, its like a bad chemistry lab experiment, though his housemates swore that hes a good cook..So he was gonna prepare barbeque chicken. My guy is putting the sauce on the chicken legs and removing the skin from the chickens to apply the sauce directly.
Now guys, if you are the squeamish type, pls dont read, or grab a barf bag, cus the next part of the story is ewwwww.
So my guy is removing the skin from the chicken, and I dont know how my spirit told me he was gonna do what he did....Felix put the chicken skin in his mouth and chewed and eat it....RAW!!!!.
Time stopped..I remember me screaming....then I heard other screams...the latina and the other guy had screamed....we were like "ëwww Gross" my guy begin dey apologize, say sorry, in know say in be beast. Ol boi, thank God say dem see correct person like me, at least as I follow dem shout...dem no go talk say na all naija men dey chop raw food. Anyways, I still chop the shicken, I had to shayo, to erase the memory of the raw food, and yeah it was nice and fun. I jisted madam...she begged me to stop...one of my friends facial expression just changed when I mentioned the chicken skin...yeepa...Me and my friends ehn..
We went to the beach yesterday, and they had bungee jumping. Omo, that thing was scary, esp seeing people doing it. Imagine jumping off a crane with nuthin more than a rubber wire attached to your legs...and it cost 60 euros again. I called madam and threatened to do it....she threatened to break my head...when I sent her the text, she called me back ASAP, straight...lol...who send naija man say make in bungee jump...I also had ice cream pancakes...am just a sucker for pancakes, or pannenkoeken, as we call em in dutch...lol
Ok, lets see,what else, work is going on fine.....I coded for almost 8 hrs 2day...e no easy to be eficco. I'm hoping to finish my thesis this month...And the son of Jah needs cash...no seriously men I need it.
Anyways, if any gist dey, I go yarn una..
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Hey my peeps.. hoped u liked the video. It cracked me up, esp the yahooze part, we get talent for naija oo plenty talent..no shaking. Well,nuthin muchs been happening.
Popsie was a year older today, so I called him and wished him the best. Imagine, dem no get light, na wa oo na gen den still dey use. Seems PHCN (please Hold Condom/Candle Now) is still busting their balls, back home. Im good, madams good, life is generally flowing, sha. My thesis is trying to prove, but I already know the end from the beginning, as per, I wrote my script for 2008 in 2007, so nuthin dey happen.
Well guys, there aint much jist..except for my past activity...which is hunting down some woman who scammed me of some cash on facebook. On facebook market place, she advertised iphone. This was before I went to see madam for her birthday, so I was excited about getting one to rock. After I send money..she begin dey yarn story. First she said she accidentally sent 5 phones instead of one, and they are in transit, say make I pay for all five, or pay for 3, make she pay for the rest....ol boi, na when my naija 419 detector went off....so we have bin dragging this back and forth, I sent the cops after her, but its like shes dissappeared. I sent her a mail, saying, I didnt mind if it took me a week, month, or year, say I go track am down...lol ..too much movie..
Well, if ure on facebook, dnt buy stuff from suzan elizabeth....shes dangerous ..
Anyways, am reading x-men, and its late...safe yall!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Acres of Diamonds
I just got inspired to blog about this, cus its about how we go looking outside ourselves for happiness and things we already have. Also I have been cranking my brain, looking for a solution to a requirement for this map application I have to work on, without avail...
Anyways..story story, storyyyy, once upon a time....time time (If you aint Nigerian, just skip this line..lol)
There was this farmer who had a nice farm, and was doing quite well. One day, he heard news about how diamonds were found in a far away land.So this farmer sold everything he had..(yup, including his farm of many years), took the cash, and went searching. He searched far and wide and did not find anything. Many years later, thirsty, despondent, and heartbroken, he died a pauper.
Now back at his farm. the new owner was chilling out one day near the stream behind his crib, and he saw a flash in the stream. On checking it out, he saw it came from an uncut stone. He showed it to an expert who followed him back. They found lots of those rough uncut stones which turned out to be diamonds. The whole farm was littered with them. That farm was supposedly the great serengeti diamond mine, and made the owner rich.
Moral of the story....Diamonds are the koko....ok seriously, the moral of this story is that at this very moment, we are all standing in our very own acres of diamonds. Lots of people feel that leaving the marriage,job, or country will make their lives better. It might,in some cases, but most times, we leave the treasure we have to go searching for it outside. So if youre thinking of looking for diamonds somewhere...check and recheck your backyard, and remember diamonds do not look like diamonds in their normal form.
Example..I got back from a nice holiday with madam...my account was in the negative, and I needed to chop. I checked my store, and I found I had enough foodstuffs...so I made some moimoi, and lets see...I still had some chicken left....now I was panicking before.
Today, I had to get to work. I attempted buying my ticket only to be told I had exceeded my limit.
Here I was all kacked up to go..so with faith sha, I went to the train platform.
Then something was like...I could use my chip to pay..its another method of payment, on the same card, but u put money on it, unlike a normal debit card where you just swipe it. When I tried paying, it turned out I still had some cash on it, sooo I was able to buy my ticket...men na God save me cus the controllers checked tickets on the train, and if I messed up, I for hear am.
So guys, as we say in Nigeria...what you went to look for in Sokoto, is inside your Sokoto(Trousers), sometimes you need to just be patient, look some more, do some extra work..and if you really have to go to Sokoto, God will guide you, amen.
Dont worry, more raunchy anaconda stuff is coming up in my next post, I havent gone soft..lol
Might gist u about my trip to see madam, who knows, who knows..
Anyways..story story, storyyyy, once upon a time....time time (If you aint Nigerian, just skip this line..lol)
There was this farmer who had a nice farm, and was doing quite well. One day, he heard news about how diamonds were found in a far away land.So this farmer sold everything he had..(yup, including his farm of many years), took the cash, and went searching. He searched far and wide and did not find anything. Many years later, thirsty, despondent, and heartbroken, he died a pauper.
Now back at his farm. the new owner was chilling out one day near the stream behind his crib, and he saw a flash in the stream. On checking it out, he saw it came from an uncut stone. He showed it to an expert who followed him back. They found lots of those rough uncut stones which turned out to be diamonds. The whole farm was littered with them. That farm was supposedly the great serengeti diamond mine, and made the owner rich.
Moral of the story....Diamonds are the koko....ok seriously, the moral of this story is that at this very moment, we are all standing in our very own acres of diamonds. Lots of people feel that leaving the marriage,job, or country will make their lives better. It might,in some cases, but most times, we leave the treasure we have to go searching for it outside. So if youre thinking of looking for diamonds somewhere...check and recheck your backyard, and remember diamonds do not look like diamonds in their normal form.
Example..I got back from a nice holiday with madam...my account was in the negative, and I needed to chop. I checked my store, and I found I had enough foodstuffs...so I made some moimoi, and lets see...I still had some chicken left....now I was panicking before.
Today, I had to get to work. I attempted buying my ticket only to be told I had exceeded my limit.
Here I was all kacked up to go..so with faith sha, I went to the train platform.
Then something was like...I could use my chip to pay..its another method of payment, on the same card, but u put money on it, unlike a normal debit card where you just swipe it. When I tried paying, it turned out I still had some cash on it, sooo I was able to buy my ticket...men na God save me cus the controllers checked tickets on the train, and if I messed up, I for hear am.
So guys, as we say in Nigeria...what you went to look for in Sokoto, is inside your Sokoto(Trousers), sometimes you need to just be patient, look some more, do some extra work..and if you really have to go to Sokoto, God will guide you, amen.
Dont worry, more raunchy anaconda stuff is coming up in my next post, I havent gone soft..lol
Might gist u about my trip to see madam, who knows, who knows..
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Conversations with my Anaconda
Well after listening to Dbanjs "Anaconda", I have been inspired to do a post like this, I just never had time. But After all the torment Ive been through, I decided enough is enough. My post is dedicated to all guys who have found themselves in this situation. Welcome to my new post, called "Conversations with my Anaconda". Like Tpain said in "kiss-kiss"...."if you dont get it, u aint still getting it"...You knw what anaconda means and no, am not talking about the movie with J-lo and Ice cube..and even though I am a confirmed orobomaniac, Im sure that anaconda entered the anaconda book of records for managing to touch J-lo....I can imagine them in Anaconda kingdom yarning:
Anaconda 1 (Slithering through the forest): Ohhh boi, how far now
Anaconda 2 : nna men, see as life harsh ooo, we no see human being squeeze n chop,due to our corrupt leaders chopping all d choppables, omo how u enter that movie sef
Anaconda 1: Omo, I just use style enter the studio act as if say I be robot, omo men, that J-lo, sweeetttt...
Anaconda2: If your wife catch u me I no dey....if she go squeeze brad pitt now, your eye go clear..
Anyways I am digressing from the main post which is me and MY anaconda.
Scene 1
wavemasta wakes up in the morning and looks down....Anaconda is awake
wavemasta: ooooooh u this foolish boi, you don start, dis one na early morning
anaconda: Bros u dey mess up big tym, han han e don tey wen I don chop, man shall not survive by hand, mojo and past memories now, han han
wavemasta: Dis guy u be alakoba, make I study, finish this msc, and besides I don become good boi
anaconda: Omo mehn, leave story, which kin good boi, u don forget that runs wey...
wavemasta: Sharrap! Stupid boi (Big lo impression)...
anaconda: Bros u know say my kinda of anaconda only comes once every generation, bros e no good oh..
wavemasta: Trying to focus and think positively...entering shower and going to work
scene 2: (Work)
wavemasta: Writing serious Java code...next thing
Anaconda: NNa bros, han han wetin, make we look some mojo now (Disclaimer...I dont watch mojos @work...Im no saint, but its unethical)
wavemasta: Dis guy, I dey write code
anaconda: Bros since u begin this msc, u don dey slack, han han for naija na so so point n chop we dey do now, wetin, God dey ohhh
wavemasta: Abegi kip quiet, U knw say I get person
anaconda: Dis guy u go reduce my battery life from 2 hours to 10 mins, full tank no good
wavemasta: I always empty the tank manually, nna men, make I work
anaconda: Bros no be by book u dey take catch woman, han han university no teach u anything
wavemasta: Men this anaconda dey talk true ooo, do me I do you, God no go vex...
Scene 3:(Going Home, walking down the road)
(Big fine orobo chick in front..next thing..)
Anaconda: Damn, omo go scope dis chick now, see bakassi...nna chelu, u dey slack oooo
wavemasta: God, which kin anaconda be dis?
(next thing Angel Appears)
Angel: wavemasta don't, ure a good boi...wait on God to provide your partner then u can break ur record of 6 rounds and make it 10
wavemasta: Anaconda: you don hear? angel don yarn d koko
anaconda: Omo, Angel always dey dull runs for boiz..sha when u get home load one mojo make man survive..na so so lepa, dey for this country, instead make u scope woman, u dey do girlfriend, and na so so book u dey do...
Anaconda: Men, I go show you one day, walahi, I go go on strike like NLC
wavemasta: wait wait, no strike now, calm down, ehn, dnt worry, e go better, I get one tite mojo..
Besides If I dont get my MSc, then no cash, and if no cash, no game!
anaconda: Hmm bribery, but I see your point sha, I go allow you rest small
wavemasta: God, abeg, save ur pikin...
Now lemme get back to work ooooo....Agro and full tank no Good, chei!
Anaconda 1 (Slithering through the forest): Ohhh boi, how far now
Anaconda 2 : nna men, see as life harsh ooo, we no see human being squeeze n chop,due to our corrupt leaders chopping all d choppables, omo how u enter that movie sef
Anaconda 1: Omo, I just use style enter the studio act as if say I be robot, omo men, that J-lo, sweeetttt...
Anaconda2: If your wife catch u me I no dey....if she go squeeze brad pitt now, your eye go clear..
Anyways I am digressing from the main post which is me and MY anaconda.
Scene 1
wavemasta wakes up in the morning and looks down....Anaconda is awake
wavemasta: ooooooh u this foolish boi, you don start, dis one na early morning
anaconda: Bros u dey mess up big tym, han han e don tey wen I don chop, man shall not survive by hand, mojo and past memories now, han han
wavemasta: Dis guy u be alakoba, make I study, finish this msc, and besides I don become good boi
anaconda: Omo mehn, leave story, which kin good boi, u don forget that runs wey...
wavemasta: Sharrap! Stupid boi (Big lo impression)...
anaconda: Bros u know say my kinda of anaconda only comes once every generation, bros e no good oh..
wavemasta: Trying to focus and think positively...entering shower and going to work
scene 2: (Work)
wavemasta: Writing serious Java code...next thing
Anaconda: NNa bros, han han wetin, make we look some mojo now (Disclaimer...I dont watch mojos @work...Im no saint, but its unethical)
wavemasta: Dis guy, I dey write code
anaconda: Bros since u begin this msc, u don dey slack, han han for naija na so so point n chop we dey do now, wetin, God dey ohhh
wavemasta: Abegi kip quiet, U knw say I get person
anaconda: Dis guy u go reduce my battery life from 2 hours to 10 mins, full tank no good
wavemasta: I always empty the tank manually, nna men, make I work
anaconda: Bros no be by book u dey take catch woman, han han university no teach u anything
wavemasta: Men this anaconda dey talk true ooo, do me I do you, God no go vex...
Scene 3:(Going Home, walking down the road)
(Big fine orobo chick in front..next thing..)
Anaconda: Damn, omo go scope dis chick now, see bakassi...nna chelu, u dey slack oooo
wavemasta: God, which kin anaconda be dis?
(next thing Angel Appears)
Angel: wavemasta don't, ure a good boi...wait on God to provide your partner then u can break ur record of 6 rounds and make it 10
wavemasta: Anaconda: you don hear? angel don yarn d koko
anaconda: Omo, Angel always dey dull runs for boiz..sha when u get home load one mojo make man survive..na so so lepa, dey for this country, instead make u scope woman, u dey do girlfriend, and na so so book u dey do...
Anaconda: Men, I go show you one day, walahi, I go go on strike like NLC
wavemasta: wait wait, no strike now, calm down, ehn, dnt worry, e go better, I get one tite mojo..
Besides If I dont get my MSc, then no cash, and if no cash, no game!
anaconda: Hmm bribery, but I see your point sha, I go allow you rest small
wavemasta: God, abeg, save ur pikin...
Now lemme get back to work ooooo....Agro and full tank no Good, chei!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)