Hey my peeps.. hoped u liked the video. It cracked me up, esp the yahooze part, we get talent for naija oo plenty talent..no shaking. Well,nuthin muchs been happening.
Popsie was a year older today, so I called him and wished him the best. Imagine, dem no get light, na wa oo na gen den still dey use. Seems PHCN (please Hold Condom/Candle Now) is still busting their balls, back home. Im good, madams good, life is generally flowing, sha. My thesis is trying to prove, but I already know the end from the beginning, as per, I wrote my script for 2008 in 2007, so nuthin dey happen.
Well guys, there aint much jist..except for my past activity...which is hunting down some woman who scammed me of some cash on facebook. On facebook market place, she advertised iphone. This was before I went to see madam for her birthday, so I was excited about getting one to rock. After I send money..she begin dey yarn story. First she said she accidentally sent 5 phones instead of one, and they are in transit, say make I pay for all five, or pay for 3, make she pay for the rest....ol boi, na when my naija 419 detector went off....so we have bin dragging this back and forth, I sent the cops after her, but its like shes dissappeared. I sent her a mail, saying, I didnt mind if it took me a week, month, or year, say I go track am down...lol ..too much movie..
Well, if ure on facebook, dnt buy stuff from suzan elizabeth....shes dangerous ..
Anyways, am reading x-men, and its late...safe yall!

Acres of Diamonds

I just got inspired to blog about this, cus its about how we go looking outside ourselves for happiness and things we already have. Also I have been cranking my brain, looking for a solution to a requirement for this map application I have to work on, without avail...
Anyways..story story, storyyyy, once upon a time....time time (If you aint Nigerian, just skip this line..lol)
There was this farmer who had a nice farm, and was doing quite well. One day, he heard news about how diamonds were found in a far away land.So this farmer sold everything he had..(yup, including his farm of many years), took the cash, and went searching. He searched far and wide and did not find anything. Many years later, thirsty, despondent, and heartbroken, he died a pauper.
Now back at his farm. the new owner was chilling out one day near the stream behind his crib, and he saw a flash in the stream. On checking it out, he saw it came from an uncut stone. He showed it to an expert who followed him back. They found lots of those rough uncut stones which turned out to be diamonds. The whole farm was littered with them. That farm was supposedly the great serengeti diamond mine, and made the owner rich.
Moral of the story....Diamonds are the koko....ok seriously, the moral of this story is that at this very moment, we are all standing in our very own acres of diamonds. Lots of people feel that leaving the marriage,job, or country will make their lives better. It might,in some cases, but most times, we leave the treasure we have to go searching for it outside. So if youre thinking of looking for diamonds somewhere...check and recheck your backyard, and remember diamonds do not look like diamonds in their normal form.
Example..I got back from a nice holiday with madam...my account was in the negative, and I needed to chop. I checked my store, and I found I had enough foodstuffs...so I made some moimoi, and lets see...I still had some chicken left....now I was panicking before.
Today, I had to get to work. I attempted buying my ticket only to be told I had exceeded my limit.
Here I was all kacked up to go..so with faith sha, I went to the train platform.
Then something was like...I could use my chip to pay..its another method of payment, on the same card, but u put money on it, unlike a normal debit card where you just swipe it. When I tried paying, it turned out I still had some cash on it, sooo I was able to buy my ticket...men na God save me cus the controllers checked tickets on the train, and if I messed up, I for hear am.
So guys, as we say in Nigeria...what you went to look for in Sokoto, is inside your Sokoto(Trousers), sometimes you need to just be patient, look some more, do some extra work..and if you really have to go to Sokoto, God will guide you, amen.
Dont worry, more raunchy anaconda stuff is coming up in my next post, I havent gone soft..lol
Might gist u about my trip to see madam, who knows, who knows..

Conversations with my Anaconda

Well after listening to Dbanjs "Anaconda", I have been inspired to do a post like this, I just never had time. But After all the torment Ive been through, I decided enough is enough. My post is dedicated to all guys who have found themselves in this situation. Welcome to my new post, called "Conversations with my Anaconda". Like Tpain said in "kiss-kiss"...."if you dont get it, u aint still getting it"...You knw what anaconda means and no, am not talking about the movie with J-lo and Ice cube..and even though I am a confirmed orobomaniac, Im sure that anaconda entered the anaconda book of records for managing to touch J-lo....I can imagine them in Anaconda kingdom yarning:

Anaconda 1 (Slithering through the forest): Ohhh boi, how far now

Anaconda 2 : nna men, see as life harsh ooo, we no see human being squeeze n chop,due to our corrupt leaders chopping all d choppables, omo how u enter that movie sef

Anaconda 1: Omo, I just use style enter the studio act as if say I be robot, omo men, that J-lo, sweeetttt...

Anaconda2: If your wife catch u me I no dey....if she go squeeze brad pitt now, your eye go clear..

Anyways I am digressing from the main post which is me and MY anaconda.

Scene 1

wavemasta wakes up in the morning and looks down....Anaconda is awake

wavemasta: ooooooh u this foolish boi, you don start, dis one na early morning

anaconda: Bros u dey mess up big tym, han han e don tey wen I don chop, man shall not survive by hand, mojo and past memories now, han han

wavemasta: Dis guy u be alakoba, make I study, finish this msc, and besides I don become good boi

anaconda: Omo mehn, leave story, which kin good boi, u don forget that runs wey...

wavemasta: Sharrap! Stupid boi (Big lo impression)...

anaconda: Bros u know say my kinda of anaconda only comes once every generation, bros e no good oh..

wavemasta: Trying to focus and think positively...entering shower and going to work

scene 2: (Work)

wavemasta: Writing serious Java code...next thing

Anaconda: NNa bros, han han wetin, make we look some mojo now (Disclaimer...I dont watch mojos @work...Im no saint, but its unethical)

wavemasta: Dis guy, I dey write code

anaconda: Bros since u begin this msc, u don dey slack, han han for naija na so so point n chop we dey do now, wetin, God dey ohhh

wavemasta: Abegi kip quiet, U knw say I get person

anaconda: Dis guy u go reduce my battery life from 2 hours to 10 mins, full tank no good

wavemasta: I always empty the tank manually, nna men, make I work

anaconda: Bros no be by book u dey take catch woman, han han university no teach u anything

wavemasta: Men this anaconda dey talk true ooo, do me I do you, God no go vex...

Scene 3:(Going Home, walking down the road)

(Big fine orobo chick in front..next thing..)

Anaconda: Damn, omo go scope dis chick now, see bakassi...nna chelu, u dey slack oooo

wavemasta: God, which kin anaconda be dis?

(next thing Angel Appears)

Angel: wavemasta don't, ure a good boi...wait on God to provide your partner then u can break ur record of 6 rounds and make it 10

wavemasta: Anaconda: you don hear? angel don yarn d koko

anaconda: Omo, Angel always dey dull runs for boiz..sha when u get home load one mojo make man survive..na so so lepa, dey for this country, instead make u scope woman, u dey do girlfriend, and na so so book u dey do...

Anaconda: Men, I go show you one day, walahi, I go go on strike like NLC

wavemasta: wait wait, no strike now, calm down, ehn, dnt worry, e go better, I get one tite mojo..
Besides If I dont get my MSc, then no cash, and if no cash, no game!

anaconda: Hmm bribery, but I see your point sha, I go allow you rest small

wavemasta: God, abeg, save ur pikin...

Now lemme get back to work ooooo....Agro and full tank no Good, chei!

Shit Bizness: How I repped my country

I was at work, writing a presentation, then I felt the urge to answer the call of nature. Now wait...don't leave my page, just read on.
I entered the bathroom, and did my thing. The "results" were just average, nuthin special. I now flushed the toilet, na when yawa begin dey gas. When I flushed, one of my "large" results was still there staring at me. In my head I was like (yup, u guessed it....) "Shit!".
If na for naija, I might have succumbed to the temptation of leaving it the way it was, but in this oyibo land, especially me being the only black person at work, omo, I cud not afford to derep naija.
Imagine if they r speakin dutch and goin...."Oh yeah the Nigerian put a huge bomb in the toilet...it was so bad, we all had to use the downstairs branch"..no way jose.
I flushed again, the flushing mechanism chose that exact moment not to work, or pack enuff energy..for my mind I dey think..."omo, this thing wan soap me".
I racked my brains for an optimal algorithm (efficient method, for non computerese speakers) to dispose of my "results". I remembered one of my elder brothers who has lived in jand so long hes got this british accent and acts like a character from "some mothers do have em" (Frank Spencer).
I remember one tym way back, whether na 1999, and I was in his apartment in jand, and I bombed his bathroom, I remember him using the toilet brush to clear the ..er...results,and explaining to my 17-18 year old mind that the toilet brush was meant for that purpose. For me, that was a great "revelation", since I felt toilet brushes were meant for "nicer" things.
So fastfoward to 10 yrs later, crazy nerd looking at his results in the toilet, and I reached for the nice clean white (no racism meant) brush and used it to push the results down the toilet.
I succeeded in hiding the "evidence", but now the toilet brush had shades of brown sticking to it.
I spent 5 mins more rinsing the brush, by now the waters had turned brown, and the brush was looking ok. Now I was faced with a life and death decision.
Do I leave the waters brown as they are, and let the next person find his way, or do I take a risk and flush?
I had to be a good boi and rep my country, cnt have em thinkin we africans are savages...I flushed. Now the bastard had gone down, but he'd left a stain at the bottom. This time, I was prepared. I took some tissue, stuffed it in the toilet, and used the brush this time to clean. Now the brush was "protected".
Finally the coast was clear, and the day was saved, and I preserved the rep of my country by cleaning up after myself and being neat.
Look after urself,and be conscious of urself....for some pple,u mite be the only Naija guy they meet, so u gotta be a good ambassador.
Oh shit.......gotta use the bathroom again.......maybe I will go downstairs this time..

Its been a long time since yours truly blogged..Its bin a combo of not enuff time, and being a lil bit lazy, and also battling with a bit of insomnia. You got that right, I no longer find it easy sleeping at normal hours, but am not a vampire anyways.
Im still on the fast lane, but Ive found my footing and learning how to navigate. Im still holdin on to my dreams of A distinction coupled with madam(wink), and u knw like gabrielle said "dreams can come true". Easter was just there, I did some clearing out of my crib, did some little shopping...yeah I knw my lifes a bit monotonous right now, maybe some action go shele next month.
Now this countrys weather is crazee..it snows in the morning(Which is why I woke up 1 this afternoon...lol), is sunny in the afternoon, rains in the evening. In fact at times all 3 of em can happen in the morning.
Im still here, doing my thing as always...valentines day wasnt so special, but I called madam n let her knw she was loved, and I love doing that.
Now am in my pyjamas wondering what to do. I got code to study, but now am just chilling and about to go on a smallville-athon....it just keeps getting better and better :D , and the son of man needs to relax.
Speaking of the son of man, I watched "Passion of the Christ" in church yesterday, that was scary, Mel Gibson used so so much blood. But really, I'm going to ask God why he didnt use a less gruesome method to save mankind,other than the flogging and getting nailed to the cross. When I get up there we will sit down on a sofa, and have a nice long chat.

Adios amigos!

Fast Lane

Im now on the fast lane...3 days at work writing code, and the rest of the week working on my thesis....will the son of man survive, yeah he will, thats d name of the game.
Men these pple paid salary, imagine this govt taxed me. Im just doin an internship and they taxed me, kai, see wahala.
Ive got one of my naija friends bunking with me for a while, hes sleeping, snoring like a generator on reserve tank. Anyways he made akara today, so make I no too dey yarn.
But men, in still dey snore. Well, whats bin happening, nuthin much anyways, life is pretty much flowing, am still working on myself, and all that, being the best I can be, and trying not to get addicted to chocolate muffins.
What else is there to say?..........
The office work is cool, after all the coding, we go downstairs and shayo...and cool the brain down......Gosh hes still snoring.......I will use style tiff back my pillow...
guys, am out oh!!

Guys.......this post is dedicated to God, for all he did for me.
Today men, I got my compiler construction results. Ours was released late because they took their time looking for errors. We got 39/40, for the second assignment. When they didnt find any reasonable errors in our code, they had to formulate one weak error and deduct one mark.
We had 29/30 in the first assignment, for the same reason as above.......and I had 53/60 last year, which is 23/30...I put this in my last years blog post. So this means ur friendly neighbourhood, eficco, fine boi no pimples,who loves his women big, got a 9 (Actually 91/100 if u wanna go by raw score..lol) in the dreaded compiler course.
This was a course that scared my lab partner and I so shitless, I was afraid it would hold us back.....now to God be the glory, Im the highest in my class, except if my partner blasts the exam and gets 10, but who cares...its free shayo for all.
At my place of work today, I finished the assignment they gave me to initiate me into the company. The oga was like, men he expected me to do it in one week, but I used 2-3 days to finish it..now we just have some small things to fix..the guy is like, he's impressed with my progress.This means more responsibility, more cash, more... er....dont worry(wink wink)
I guess all the freaky programs Ive bin coding at my school paid off.....who says school doesnt matter?
We thank God...the vision is coming along..

To my ...... I miss you and wished I cud have shared this with u.