diary of a crazy nerd

Roar!!

2010-11-16T17:11:00.000-08:00

My dearest fans...lol..
I know I havent been posting in ages, and you have all but given up on me...
But never fear...
Lord wavey has returned...
Omo enuff gist dey...like seriously. Where do I start?

First gist. I relocated to naija permanently. Thats right. I have moved back home. After lots of soul searching, and praying with my pastor in the Netherlands, God opened the doors and showed me that home was where I needed to be. I wasnt so scared though I had lots of people asking me questions like:

"Have you gotten a job already?"
"Why don't you try another foreign country?" (No thanks)

Words cannot describe the feeling of closing my former apartment for the last time, and entering the train to the airport, knowing I was NEVER gonna go back...

4 years and some months ago, I wondered when I would see my home again..

Now, for now, Im crashing in my old bed, NEPA have done their thing again, but never fear,we have an inverter.

My internet comes on only at night, so I will only be able to post then..

But watch out guys...

I'm back!!

Rantings!

2010-08-09T16:56:00.001-07:00

I think I have lost my geek status. I dont like reading programming books like I used to, and Ive sort of lost interest in the field. I also want cash, and to be rich.Lots of it (cash), and to be on top of the food chain. My former boss telling me he could get software developers for X price (talking like I and people in my field were commodities) just put me off.

I take solace in studying business and personal development, because I discovered I like to encourage people, and leave people better than I met them.
I still love IT, and now that I am out of a job, I am seriously refecting as to what to do with my life. And as to what my life purpose is.
I'm thinking of a lot of things man, some job options, but then I am factoring in what will happen if I want to settle down. Face it, this place isnt the easiest place to adapt to. I have been here 4 years and cant speak the language fluently (though I cant get lost). For a woman to come join me here..e get as e be...lol..although some would love to just come abroad anyways.
Now I am seriously looking inwards, and asking myself, what am I good at, and what can I do with my life? I have decided to take several money generating ideas, and run with them...fast. I only got one life to live.
Right now I am typing this 2 AM my time. I seem to have developed this sleeping madness where I sleep very very late, a la insomnia, and then wake up late.
After doing my self development, praying (at times) and feeling guilty for sleeping in, I go to the gym or just read.
Speaking of the gym, my body aches cus I did a massive workout yesterday, or today (depending on how u look at it). I made a commitment to getting my body in shape, cus when I got back here from naija, I hit some depression (mild) and I just didnt feel like going to the gym.
But when I lost my job, and I sat in the crib doing nothing but reading, watching TV, and drinking...I looked in the mirror and saw the beginning of a beer gut.

Now, I want to handle my "business" with my wife well, and she deserves anything apart from a pot belly, so that MOTIVATED me to go to the gym, to trek sef, its 20-30 mins walk from my house and my bike is broken, but its bearable with an ipod on anyways.

At this point, I have no idea where to send my CVs again. Most of these companies want you to speak dutch like a native speaker...ok I have enrolled in a course beginning close to the end of this month, but still, if you cant speak Dutch, they dont care about your skills...
Its their country anyways...
Its just I have a feeling I need to do something here...and its not yet time for me to leave. But the instant I get that telegram from Jah to leave here, you wont have to tell me twice.
I've sent my stuff (CV) to different places..I know something will turn up, and I am also chasing other money maker ideas of mine.
Chicks? Don't get me started. Their dating system here is crap, utter crap.
Imagine, you meet a chick at a party. If she decides to talk to you, you are apparently not meant to get her number, rather you ask for her MSN or yahoo id, then follow up from there. Ive tried the direct step-to-and-spit-game approach, omo, they are not happy they see fine boi talking to them..chei!
Well an alternative is to use dating sites...cus when we meet, we both know what we want. And all I can say is that with the way these chicks here behave, no wonder their guys are turning gay. Seriously.
The amount of conji that has held me here...kai, God is just laughing at me, I swear.
Check this out. I went for my toastmasters meeting at a members house.
Shes like ohhh would you like to see my cats?
I'm like...wtf? But I decide to be nice, and go look at the cats.
Imagine a room with 3 adults (sorry to include myself) staring at 2 cats who were squinting and feeling like superstars and people going ...."ooo they look so cute".
The owner was like "yes they love people"....kai! These people and pets.
If I am walking on a path, thats when you will see one silly man with one bingo on a leash. Instead of the bingo to walk jejely, it will now come to my side.
Wetin? If na 9ja, na kick u go use pursue am. But here, they can sue you for cruelty to animals....lol..
Reminds me of when I saw a Dutch woman use her hands to pack her dogs poop into a nylon, and throw it in a dustbin. I was waiting for a bus.....I was shocked. Kai! To say I was shocked was even an understatement....

God dey sha.
Anyways I dey run o....laterz!

A Belated Birthday Post

2010-08-03T09:37:00.000-07:00

My birthday was last week wednesday, and I turned a year older. It was a quiet uneventful day, I mean what else would you expect in the Netherlands? If na naija I for carry boiz go shack after work, but anyways..
So, loads of people called me, sent me smses, wrote on my facebook wall...*sob
I felt so much love it was nice...then I got some cake and shared it for all my house fellowship dudes, came back home, eat some fried rice and chicken, eat some cakes (Still got leftovers in my fridge), and drank some wine..
Just looking over my life. Ive grown. A lot. Since my undergrad days, NYSC, almost spending 4 years working and thinking of the ordeal I faced during my MSc days..
Days of being alone, being broke at times, forced to be celibate(ewwwww), and generally adapt. It made me stronger though, bringing me closer to being the man I see in my vision.
So happy birthday to me..Ive been too lazy to log on and type this...lol...
To see another year added to your life is to thank God for sparing you. Life is beautiful, and when things go wrong or look wrong, appreciate the fact that you have eyes, legs, a brain, and the gift of life..
See you guys later!

2010-07-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

Ok peeps, its been agessssss....
This blog is all but dead, but hey, it remains the last bastion of free space I got..
Anyways I have been working on projects, so far. Written a book, working on getting it published (was expensive), didn't get my last work contract renewed...
Now Ive been at home for like 3 weeks though, and seriously working on an inventory of my life, and wondering if I should finally stop coding, and move on to something else.
One of my other projects is a network marketing business which is taking time to get off the ground, but I will get there.
So, good news is I got to go to Nigeria after 4 years. I just decided to go, and ignore people who had misgivings (My family, etc), and went back home.
It was nice to be back in Naija, to feel the heat at MMI airport, and feel NEPA again. I couldn't believe I was back after so long. I drank star, eat correct food, saw all my facebook friends, and went to the palms mall, silverbird..lol..only thing I didn't do was go clubbing.
I also saw hot chicks men, with lovely fleshy full bodies, not the flat ones we have here. Even so called local chics on the road carried assets enough to change a hard core pastor...lol...
Anyways I had fun, got back to Holland, and hit some depression for a bit, and didn't go to the gym for over a month, then my bosses tell me they aren't renewing my contract....but I wasn't so sad cause I was getting tired of the place, and being shouted at and stuff. So well now I am searching and really introspecting in myself. So whats the next step, I don't know...
Man, I need to organize myself a girlfriend in this place...like Abacha said way back.."My fellow Nigerians...enough is enough!!"...lol...
Last week I went out with a friend to a Nigerian club here...dunno, scoping babes at clubs hasn't being my thing. I can spit game on other grounds, but this place sef get as e be...think even after 4 years here 9ja still dey my blood..lol.
Later peeps...

So Far

2010-04-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

wassup people...
Its been close to two months since my last update, yeah I know, a lots been happening. I got a new crib, new apartment, and I was able to move, and end the 4 hour commute, and settle down at my job. R and I split up ,you know we just let the relationship die, but I am better for it. Have someone now, R seemed to be just to tide me through those times, but I hope shes good wherever she is.
The jobs there, learning new stuff, being yabbed by my bosses, but trying my best anyways. The place is alright though. New city looks good, I have an apartment in a building with people...yeah not aliens, lol..main thing on ground is the internet access. I had issues with the last provider because they were so uncultured and rude. The internet wasn't working, I asked them to fix it, and they started blathering about if the cable signal was working.
I told em I didn't have a TV, and so I cudn't test it, but I was sure it was ok. They now told me they needed to know if the cable was working. I told them I didn't have a TV, and the silly fool at the end went to tell me to go borrow one.imagine!
Anyways I was bounced up and down so much I cancelled UPC and got KPN. Now KPN is telling me theres no entry point for internet in my house. The landlord says otherwise, that its in one other apartment on the other side. Thing is they are coming btw 8 and 6 pm on wed, so I have to wait for them or na me go suffer. These technicians here feel they are God. They can't give the exact time they are coming, imagine! And if they come and theres any delay, they just bounce!
I told this to my landlord n he said I should just stall them and call him n he'd be there in 5 minutes. Heres keeping me fingers crossed. All this for service I have to pay for.

The place is still untidy..my crib. I have to furnish it lil by lil. First thing I had to do was get blinds to cover my windows, those things were freakin expensive, but I needed them cus I had to change in the bathroom and turn off the lights in the apartment when I want to dress and stuff.

I was supposed to be in 9ja, but well I set the right goal, but wrong date, but I am still gonna go sha. I need to think, clear my head, see my land, and well meet my current girl n see how it will go from there. Enuff jist man.

This place can make you do freaky things...seems my beer intake has increased, I gotta watch it though, but when you are alone, anything goes.

Working on a project to add an extra source of income i.e passive income. I'm doing this via network marketing and I am excited cus I am reaching for my dreams..also got a book being published but I won't say anything, before someone traces me here n reads some of my other posts...lol...esp the "Hidden chronicles of Okon.."

Thats enough for now guys...later...and yes I am at the office jamming music...such is my life for now....

Long time!

2010-02-18T07:55:00.000-08:00

Hey guys:
Its been a long time since I updated. I was asked about it today, so I decided to do so. So much has been happening in my life. I got a new job, but I have to spend like 4 hrs and 38 minutes a day on the train to and fro. Its crazy...I get up 5.30 here just to make work by 9.00 in the morning, and the people at work think I am nuts.
I have been so occupied which is why I haven't had time to write.
Work is good....I am still on my naija holiday visit, and I still have to finish clearing up some debts from last year because during that time I was almost homeless, I had to do what was necessary to survive.
Man, e no easy but God dey.
I have time to work on my thoughts and a lot of personal development, so I have been training my brain to look for opportunities instead of the obstacles.
I am also searching for an apartment here..its been crazy looking for one. I finally had to stay with my brova as a last resort, and its been ok, but theres been some invasion of my privacy..you know privacy means a lot to me..i.e "accidentally" reading my mails, and some weird intrusions into my life which I try to skillfully maneuver so as not to cause any friction in the house. At least I save money on food, and house rent but I spend cash on transport mehn..

I am determined to follow through and break through on my goals and ambitions. I can't allow this year to pass me by.

As for chicks, well I am still here, with conji...and R and I went our separate ways. It seems that it wasn't destined to work, and at times God just removes the energy from such relationships. I think its for the best, and we will both be better for it. There was no pain on my part. I have met someone else, but I dey take am slowly, no point in rushing cus I aint from russia.
My mum recently told me that I keep things inside. Well this is just because after listening to conversations taking place amongst my familia, I have realized that I think differently and I have my own ideas.
I mean, I am going to buy my own Aston Martin V12 vantage. But I'm sorrounded by pple who might think second hand is the way to go, and could be critical, you feel me? And I love to read a lot about success, cash, developing the mind, i.e personal development, but we aint on the same level...so of course if I have my dreams, visions and plans, then why on earth would I be Joseph, and go blabbing all my stuff?

Its got to the point where I have had to direct some post to my office so it doesn't get opened for me when I get home. I try to look on the bright side as ok, I am living in someones crib...but jeez, I no be small boy, wetin?

Anyways Jah dey, seriously, I need my own place, but I know I got it now..

Im trying to expand my mind and see if I no fit get yarinya for here...lol...just to pass the time, but I am thinking of settling down soon. Anyhow it will get better..

Ciao guys...gotta get back to work.. ;)

Happy new year!!!

2010-01-01T03:46:00.000-08:00

Happy new year people..I pray you all hit your goals for 2010 and beyond!!

Whew, 2009 has come and gone, with a lot of things....

It seems like yesterday, when I started blogging.. how time flies.
I hope all of you have clearly written down defined goals. Don't say "resolutions". because they don't mean anything. Most people will subconsciously not carry out their new years resolutions, but the act of writing down your goals, shows your subconscious, and the universe, and your creator, that you are really serious.

Enough of the motivational talk...
This year I will meet my big bold and beautiful soulmate (with a well endowed front and backside), and give you jist on how I will add triplets to the world.

Men, I resume work on Monday, and I haven't yet found a room. Its been so annoying, one idiot wanted me to pay 4 months all at once, the idiot...another woman screwed up the appointment and gave the room to someone else...but men the commute is crazy. Think like almost 5 hours a day to and fro by train, and you will see what I go through.
God dey sha. It is well.

Happy new year!!!

Merry Xmas!

2009-12-25T01:34:00.000-08:00

To all my fans, and readers.
To everyone who's read my blog, both past and present.
To any visitor on my page...
I wanna wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy new year in advance!!
Thanks for your support...
For your words of encouragement during my trying times....
God bless you and I love you all!
Myne, Damsel, Bem, Chayoma, afrobabe (wherever she is :-)), etc etc...
Last christmas was just like yesterday..I put up another christmas tree picture, and another blog post...
Just goes to show us to always make good use of our time, cus its gonna fly...

Merry Christmas people!!

Have a wonderful one!!

*running away to look for presents and chicken... lol

2009-12-19T02:58:00.000-08:00

Hey gang, its been quite a while.
A lot of ish has been happening to me. Got a new job...yayyyy!
The dude wanted to hire me, I liked the place and so I have signed up.
I started last week, but men the commute is crazy. I spend like 5 hours in total max, for any commute. So I carry a book or listen to audio programs on my ipod, at least I am sure I am still feeding my mind, no matter what.
But its cool anyways, I have to just keep jacking my programming books like mad so that this one works out.
I was thinking of going to naija...for feb since my best friend is getting married, and has made me best man, but I don't know if that will send the wrong signal to my new boss. The man has been trying for me so far.
I think I will just get a UK visa so I can go play on weekends. It would be a welcome change from this scenario.
Anyways I wanna ask your opinion about something. Its been shown that most people subconsciously hold themselves back from success because they are scared that people close to them, esp their families might not like them or be comfy with their success.
Anyways, I was talking about how to look for a place and my sis in law kept harping on and on about how I needed to find a "cheap" place. She kept on going on and on about being "cheap" and how "cheap was good".
It sounded almost as if she dey try force that down my throat. My bro had to jokingly tell her to calm down, that I cannot go and live in a hole because of being cheap. She went on the say she was "careful" about money. My bro jokingly interpreted it as being cheap.
Now, I went upstairs and began thinking. So what if I buy a new car instead of going for a second hand one, which they believe in? What if my business succeeds and I build a mansion? What if I grow to Donald Trumps level and I own my own jet?
So, are they gonna freak out or what?
I can understand how Robert Kiyosaki felt when his dad believed the exact opposite of what he believed.
Its kinda food for thought anyways.
And of course no post by wavemasta would be cumplete without descriptions of how I have been keeping my abstinence vows. Its not been easy. One time on the train I sat next to one nice orobo who was smiling at me. My internal computer came up with different ..er..."scientific" means of getting her contacts which I discarded because I was supposed to be in a relationship, or I am supposed to be in a relationship, even though I haven't heard from the person in quite a while. I could have called, but nothing's been in my account for ages for me to get credit (see my turbulence posts), and I used my last card calling...and she doesn't come online..and she knows this ish...
Me, I won't talk, I go just dey look. I have gone past that stage of worrying whats going on in a chicks mind. I know say if she wan call, she go call,or mail, which makes me think ........ but bone story.
But men, if this relationship doesn't work, I am gonna free myself, live..no more long distance ish...I think its time for me to try tasting different flavors of chocolate...y'know, milk, coconut, dark, etc. Just that I just dey think abt settling down...life with all these games, at times aint fulfilling...
Anyways God dey.
Thanks to all my readers for the support and all...especially during my turbulent times...Myne Whitman, Dancing Damsel, Bem, and all of you guys who read my blog...love you all really... @Myne..where on earth is that ebook?

I just am imagining what my mum (well you know she's against weight gain and stuff) will say when she sees my future wife. I at times wonder if she go harass the babe, to lose weight, and the babe will know she no fit try am as in reduce the curves, else her husband (the one n only wavemasta) will simply not touch her. Simple.
In fact, I will put it in the marriage clause when we are signing the registry.

"If in the event, the signee (My future wife) decided to lose weight i.e drop below 70kg and reduce the sizes of the curves, especially the front side and back side...the primary client (i.e wavemasta) reserves the right to run away from the nuptial agreement...as he don't like skeletons ...wait, make that run far far away"...lol..at times I surprise myself...
But if that kinda kasala happens, then my folks will stop seeing me at family meetings..but hey, we don't have any. :-)
Ciao guys, n laters!

So far....musings, R, what next?

2009-12-10T13:23:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to gidi lounge, I discovered it during my turbulence days, cus my friend used to play it all night..I just finished listening to Banky W's "Tanker"...dude has talent...
Heres the link to the gidi lounge music player!
Anyways I fired up this blog to just pour out my musings.
See, I'm a guy with lots of big goals, and I don't just dream..I walk my talk, and I do not think like the average dude...
But sometimes, the fear comes, like... "What if I am just deceiving myself?" What if I wake up and I am 40 years old, and I haven't hit one goal of mine?
Scary....but I just erase that thought and focus on my goals..
I got another interview tomorrow and from there I have to give a speech at toastmasters. I haven't given any in months, and I am close to finishing my track.

Even in my professional life, I'm wondering..what am I good at? I am focused on getting a job so I can take care of major needs while I focus on my dreams, but even me, I find myself wondering..."whats my niche? What am I supposed to do?"

My personal life is....non existent, apart from my relationship with R. I have a very freaky nature, but for some reason, I have decided to go the abstinence route (Am sure people who know me will laugh at me)..and I also have this thing for reaching out to chicks... Crazy, crazy, this isn't me. And for some strange reason, If I am in a relationship, I stay faithful because It will affect me even more than the chick..
The thought that the next time I will enjoy the reverse cowgirl will be on my wedding night is freaky! Chei! guys, can wavemasta cope? Find out in the next episode..lol
But I have been told, that if I enter naija, hmmmm, I am in trouble o, with the honeyz..and I have been told this by my "children" in the "game" whom I mentored...
Kai...see my life! lol...anyways now I'm doing more positive mentoring, though the other kind is still available to "inner circle" members...hehe..lol

Anyways I was just reminiscing.. my mind went back to the old days with my ex, before R, and yeah I remembered some good times. I tried to shut it out as I have before, because I am trying to focus all my energy on R, right now, and I might be jealous if she was reminiscing on good times with any of her exes ....*the buggers!!*
But yeah I was reminiscing on some of the adventures I had....jumping on planes to go see her without telling people...except I told my mum because she was planning on seeing me when she passed through my area..
So yeah, jumping on planes, leaving my comfort zone, dealing with a whole lot of internal bullshit, making myself a better person so I could be the best boyfriend for her *Then.. then all the fights, me trying to fix it, trying to be Mr mature, Mr understanding, Mr cool, all because I had one foolish voice in my ears telling me why girls went for more older guys, due to some nonsense "maturity" factor..so I guess I was trying to rep for us younger ones..hehe...
I guess things just went downhill, the distance wasn't helping, and I guess even my best efforts didn't save it, and I got tired of the constant fighting, making up, breaking up, and I was tired of being alone, and trying to move the relationship to the next level all myself. I have been here hustling for close to 4 years now, and I hate living in an empty house by myself...trapped by my own principles...
But man, I just remembered some good times, and I guess the experience made me a better man, and I can focus on R....

My ex was a very good person inside, and I could be veryyy frustrating at times, so its possible I am seeing this from one angle...and I hope God gives her own hubby....
I can't say that about some other exes...some I think of them and hiss..naija style...hehe..

Now its time for wavemasta to focus on the R equation :-) or the R formula..lol

Men, sometimes I feel older than my age...lol..
Thing about R is that its almost the same mode of communication...long distance..so I haven't seen or held her yet...So I am working on that...
I was wondering why I sort of felt a feeling of not being totally bonded to R yet, but I guess its just me and because I haven't hung out with her..I mean we haven't seen since I was doing my bachelors back home, and it was just a glimpse from afar.
Boy oh boy...
Thing is now I am seeing big big somethings everywhere, you know like in "The sixth sense" with Bruce Willis, when the kid says in a whispering hushed voice..
"I see dead people..."
Mine is...
"I see, big women, juicy..on the trams....on the trains....calling out to me..."
That my friends is my own sixth sense...hehe..
I wonder how R is doing...I should call, or mail...
But shes understanding...thats R...
Praying it works out jor...jah dey...
Maybe next time, I will blog about my experience with the robots..and I am serious..hehe...
Bye guys...

2009-12-06T09:49:00.000-08:00

Hey people.
Back to my old city, and living with my Bro for now. That landlady in the place I was staying in before dey fight me over toilet paper and internet cable wire, so I had to find my way.
Mumsie came to visit. She hadn't seen me in 2 years and it was nice seeing her again. Then next thing she's like telling me I have added weight or something. I was just looking. She kept making a big deal of it. I wasnt going to start justifying or reminding her of days when I only had enough money to buy one piece of plantain, or when I was attending martial arts classes twice a week. Anyways I just dey look. I wonder what she will say when she discovers I have no intention of marrying a skinny skeleton, and I do only big beautiful women. I wonder if they (my parents) will now decide, and say
"Wavemasta, you cant marry her cus she's too big". I go just dey look, and do my own wedding. It will be hell on earth being married to someone I cannot "feel" *wink.
It just depends on if the chick in question has liver.
Anyways am wondering and thinking about a lot of things. One of my exe's married today. I really wish her the best because shes a good person, and yours truly wasn't naughty during our times together and I respected her stance.
Its amazing how time flies, and I wonder when mine would show up. Man proposes but God disposes.
I'm currently still job hunting. And believing God for the best. Cus I need the one thats best for me. So I can chill while strategist for my other businesses.
The pastor at church preached a very powerful word about "Helpers of destiny", and the premise was that when your dreams are big, God brings into your life, those who can help you. And that the people might not look like much. Reminds me of one misguided person who was asking why he should learn from me because I wasn't uber successful. (thats in another of my lives btw).
So people, anyone can have the information you need, and you need to tune in and see everyone as abundant. I am learning Dutch now, using my ipod, listening to mp3's, and repeating them.
I am wondering if I am inflicting suffering on myself by not having another woman here, while I got one back in naija, who we haven't seen. I mean the girls have really powerful control, but like one woman wrote "If a guy can't have sex he can't think straight. For a woman its more emotion,togetherness. For a man, its a need".
Cus men, there are times I am just frustrated. But I am trying to do the right thing, and I wont force even my girlfriend into stuff she isn't ready for, or which she doesn't want to do.
That leaves marriage, but nna men, thats a big step and its for life. So you see the quandary one finds oneself in?
Well, I will just go into reverend father mode. And focus on building my biz and others.
Some might say, but how can I trust her? Well I do, and if shes messing up, God has ways of showing me stuff :-) hehe.
So many many things running around in my head...
Well God dey sha, lets see whats gonna happen.
Men I heard Turai Yar Adua wants her husband to die in office and not resign. Haba! When our presidents heart has stopped. This shows me that
Shes doesnt love him
She loves the position more than he does.
May Jah never give me that kind wife.
Amin Amin.

Bye folks!

2009-11-29T04:27:00.000-08:00

Well gang, hows it hanging?
Right now, had to move back to the old city I did my masters in, and I am chilling with a friend for the meantime. Hes' got this naija landlady who has two lovely baby daughters and I get to practice my dutch on them.
I scared them yesterday by asking for a knife and fork and threatening to eat them alive...lol..they were so freaked out. I know I will be a wonderful daddy, I am looking forward to having my own daughters.
Things are looking better, at least on the inside (My mind). I know it is better already.
I am still applying to places all around, and also working on my own business part time, and chilling. But I am waiting for the stuff to manifest in my life so I can move out of here. I do not want the landlady's head to spark one day :-)
As per my relationship, well, I am just looking sha...looking and watching, and thats all you guys are gonna get from me.
At times obstacles come in all sorts of forms, physical, mental etc, so you can pull out that greatness in you and fly to the next level, and I believe that's whats happening to me right now.
But seriously, all those people who think living abroad is a bed of roses..I mean, they need a reorientation. Someone told me his friend said, if he could just get a gateman's job here, he would be happy. The friend is back in naija. I just shook my head, but if you try to talk to such people, you get tagged as an enemy of progress.
Anyways, "who no know no go, and who no go no know" :-)
Anyways, I'm off to read some more John Grisham, and thinking about my goals....
Later!

Turbulence 2

2009-11-23T03:16:00.000-08:00

Well gang, its me again. To those of ya who were supportive..thanks.
Well I got back home last night after checking a possible lead for a place to
lay my head, and after lots of frantic phone calls, One of my friends invited me
to come rough it in his place.
I woke up this morning feeling like an alien. I felt like I didn't belong in this house any longer. I woke up hearing the house move as the kids were going to school, but thing is I was just too freaking comfortable in bed. But I was like..hmm if the head of the house opens the room and begins to yell, then wetin?

So I get up, clean myself up and all. I begin to strategize. First I motivated myself by reading about persistence all over and over from "The greatest salesman in the world" then I now began to focus. Its funny...all my friends are no where to be reached, and I am not the kinda person to stress anyone out in any way. I had to holla a friend of mine who I will be buzzing on gmail, and he'd be too busy to talk.
So anyways, I give him the full gist, and then began jisting him about R. When he hears about some similarities to my ex and stuff hes like "Dump her fast" his reason being I do not need distractions. I say, well I'm in love, and he goes that I can fall out of love and its a choice.
Anyways sha, I just keep quiet and not talk, because the person you want me to dump, might have some flaws, but shes been the one being there for me when you never had my time. But sha, he's my friend, so hes just trying to talk, and blah....
I try calling my sister (not my blood one but close to) cus theres one way she speaks and I feel better, but I have been trying her number for ages. It rings, but she never picks it up. I wonder why.
I also tried to call my girlfriend. The number wasn't going, and I'm wondering why I have not heard from her, because I would expect a call at least to check up on me, but maybe shes stuck in traffic or something.
Apart from this whole situation, I am wondering if this relationship will work out this time. I just hope this isn't me repeating some weird subconscious bad pattern, but we will see.
The owner of the house will soon show up, and well, I will just smile as if nothings happening. This shit is just temporary, and if I could make it this far, without going mad, or anything, then it will be well.
I have now learnt first hand how important it is to focus on your dreams, and do not be dependent on anyone. Whether its a company for your paycheck, or someone else for a house. I read this book called "Millionaire republican" by a dude called Wayn Allyn Root, and he said and I quote "Millionaires own...they don't rent".
You have to own your life, your house, your destiny, or you're toast. And you have to pay the price, no matter how steep it is, as long as you are not violating the rights of others, in the pursuit of your dreams.
I guess thats the price I am paying right now. Better to experience the turbulence now then enjoy, than for you to enjoy now, and experience the turbulence later on.

Someone suggested I start selling newspapers. I am not ready to go that route. No matter how many of you think I am proud. I just cant study for an MSc, work for a year, start my own biz, and be hopping bicycles selling newspapers. If you read my earlier posts, you will realize it was hell for me during my MSc days, but I pushed through it. I almost never had a day of rest in this place, without something or the other on my mind..
Now to suffer all that to dey ride bicycle dey deliver paper...I reject it in Jesus name, amen!

I have not told mumsie about the whole scenario, because I don't need wahala for now. Not even my bro here...last thing I need is someone to start talking down to me or treating me like crap because I am under his roof. And mumsie dey show next week, kai! And some of those spiro things I told u about...see, at times I wonder if seriously, they sent "them" after me ..lol..but Jah dey sha. I am a soldier of prosperity...nothing dey happen...I wont give up...lailai!

I would prefer to just rough it. I will still legitimately hit my million mark by next year, and all of you will hear about me. And I will do it without violating the rights of any one.
Cheers people...
Lemme get back to my life.

Ok.....I just added this...
The tax office just called me telling me they had sent me an invitation to come and see them this morning, but I didn't and that it was about my company. I sha told them the whole gist, and how I couldn't give them a proper address because I was bouncing from place to place. The man said a nice bye bye. I hope its buried now, because I do not need any other wahala, but if any more comes (which I pray not) God go help person.
And before that, I called my parents, because I wanted to yarn them the whole koko, but they were in the car about to go to GTB in naija, so I didn't have the heart to tell them then...so I will drop it on them tonight.
I have packed my things into one closet in the room I was staying at pastors crib, and I have one suitcase and some bare essentials.. :-)

Still haven't heard from R. Well we go see....

Am outta here!

Turbulence..

2009-11-22T07:52:00.000-08:00

Hey gang...
Well I need to just talk to someone and this is my outlet..
At this moment, my life has been turned upside down literally.
I am officially jobless, and homeless...and I am sitting in a room I have to vacate
surrounded by my luggage.
First things....when you get a job, do not, I repeat, don't live in a company house..cus when they decide they do not want you, then your ass is out.
Anyways, they terminated my contract, then, I went job hunting only to be rejected
because I do not speak the language.
To make matters worse, I sunk most of my cash into my business, but it hasn't yielded any fruits.
So, I am searching for a place and my pastor suggested I move in with him as I wont need to spend cash. I stayed there for the whole of November, But 2 days ago, he tells me I have to bounce because another pastor is coming from naija and needs the room. I thought of going back to my former place, but my former flatmate who said it was ok yesterday, is saying another thing today.

Then about my relationship, well its bittersweet. At times I wonder why I seem to attract women which need some sort of healing into my life. And I always end up knowing them, fixing up their weak points (never taking advantage), but the burdens they seem to come with sort of haunt me.
It happened with my ex, and something similar like this is happening again. I do not know if this is the law of attraction, and I am attracting them into my life via negative reasons, and I am in a dysfunctional relationship(S), or for positive reasons because jah has some grand plan.
I woke up this morning feeling like just bailing out of the whole thing, but I sort of heard something in me telling me to just chill, and not make any rash decisions.
I didn't want to run partly because I am in love with R, and because of selfish reasons.. R has been here with me and supported me all through this, and like I said its bitter sweet.
This was what happened with my ex, and I went on that rollercoaster for 2.5 years before deciding like Abacha "Enuff is Enuff", and walking away.
Also, some spiro shit seems to be going on...I seem to be battling things in my head which I am sure would drive the average man mad...but I am not average, and I am a victor.

I know that my life is being rearranged by God and the universe, because I am going to the next level,and because this year, I set some MAJOR goals... but shit..me, the great wavemasta, homeless, and being kicked about like a football...nna men...
My pastor wanted to hook me up with one dude in church, but I see this brotha every sunday, and no offense, but he looks like he's trying to get by, and he's on govt housing also. And I didn't like the idea of me being bounced up and down like some parasite, and so I began taking my destiny in my own hands.
Imagine, some of my mates are married and some have kids. They all seem happy in their marriages and relationships, but no, its wavemastas own that seems different.

I got no choice sha, but to keep on pushing, and I will ride out this storm, and this relationship thing also, well, like I did before, I will ride it out till the end. Ode-eshi, nothing dey happen.
But I will curse anyone who sees me driving my Audi S5, and thinks I am a drug dealer because I became a billionaire at a young age. Speaking of billionaires, I asked for some feedback from some of my fans about my business and brand.. and one of them was like "Why should I learn from you...its not like you're super successful. Maybe you just read the books"..nna men, I weak....
Well he said it politely, and I did ask for feedback.
So, should I leave R, because issues seem to harsh to deal with? and will wavemasta have to sleep on the streets n hustle? And will wavemastas going-back-to-naija-after-3-years-5-months-in europe become a reality this december?
Stay tuned....

"I was not born in defeat, neither does failure course in my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd. I am a lion, and I refuse to walk, to talk, to sleep with the sheep. The slaughter house of failure is NOT my destiny.I will persist till I succeed" -The greatest salesman in the world.
BOO-YAH!

Musings....

2009-11-13T04:35:00.000-08:00

I am going to toastmasters this evening. I kinda get the feeling people aren't so happy with me, and I can't use my current situation as an excuse. So I guess its Den Haag to Utrecht and back again. *Sigh.
I now wanted to do an inventory of our cabinet, like take stock of all the things inside, like the stop watch, paper, etc. Its part of my responsibility as Sergeant at arms of the club. Now I cannot find the damned key. I have turned over everything searching for it. I absolutely HATE looking for stuff, and the thing is, I felt it was in my white Delft bag, which has all my Toastmasters stuff, but its not.
I hope I didn't lose or misplace it when I moved. Anyways I sent a mail to our president asking if I could get his key earlier. I got a mail from him, and of course it was laced with his wry irish humor, but I got the message.
Yes Mr President, I know you might read this :-)
Things are kinda going ok with my current relationship with R. I have committed to making it work, and she also wants to make it work, but there are just some things which I am not happy about when I think about them, but well, I cannot change em. The old me, before my relationship with T, would have just decided to bail, but R has good stuff in her, and I would miss her if she wasn't here.
I wonder if its the fact that I do love her, that I am still here, or that I do not want to be alone. Well, I think its the former. I wonder why I am writing this...maybe its therapy.
If you wanna go by the law of attraction which I believe in, then I must have attracted her into my life and she also..question is why?
Cus at times I wonder if its not possible to just be in a relationship with no issues or blah blah. I just pray this isn't a negative cycle I am repeating, and that the big dude upstairs (Thats God, if I gotta spell it out) actually has a grand nice plan for all of this. Because the last thing I need is to be caught in some cosmic negative cycle consisting of all that happened with my ex.

At times I wonder if I rushed into this, or if I did the right thing. Cus, my relationship with my ex was dead, right from the beginning of this year. We tried to give it CPR, and a whole lot, but the last straw was in July, when I left for good.
I hooked up with D for a bit, but didn't feel her so much, and I met R, and liked her and loved her, and for crying out loud, omo boi had to move on with his life, and so I went in. And well its had its ups and downs, but we shall see.

It is well anyways. Now I have to see if I can get some coins to take the tram. Never mind, one day coins in my life will be a thing of the past.
Back to toastmasters, I took a break from public speaking because I had feedback I was rushing through the manual, but now its like me wondering if I can get back on top of my game. I have so many other things going on now, and my club has some very gifted people...
But I am also gifted too..
Anyways, gotta run.
See you later amigos!

Straffe Okon Case 2

2009-11-09T07:44:00.000-08:00

"Can you do it"? The voice rasped in the darkness.
Jamiu gulped, his hands clammy with sweat.
"This is for your family" he thought to himself.
But that thought didn't reassure him. Rather bile churned in his stomach, at the thought of the terrible betrayal he was about to commit...
"Yes sir. I can do it".
"Do not worry Jamiu. When this operation goes well, you will be taken care of", the voice said.

Jamiu stood in the darkness of the garage, listening to the voice delivering instructions over and over, and him nodding at intervals..

"I can do this" he thought, as he later walked off into the hot Lagos night...
"I have to do this".

She got onto the plane at De Gaulle Airport, Paris and sank back into the plush seating in the first class lounge..
God, it was so good to relax, after working real hard in school. And now she was going back to Nigeria for Holidays.
Her Mum had been nagging her to settle down, but she wasn't interested.
Apart from Jean Pierre, no man had ever been able to handle her.
They were put of by her looks...
She chuckled to herself. Standing at 5'9, with 37DD breasts, and a large backside... not to mention her outspoken personality, and sharp brain, most men were intimidated by her...
Well, its not her fault that her Dad was a wealthy hard working industrial mogul with businesses all over the world...
It wasn't her fault that most men were weaklings...
Pity about Jean Pierre though...but gosh those French men could do magic with their tongues...
Thinking about Jean Pierre's former ministrations to the nether parts of her anatomy sent shivers down her spine....
Jamilia buzzed the hostess and ordered for champagne.
It came fast.
As she put the glass to her lips, the beverage hit her throat in an exquisite explosion of sensuality..
Life was good...
So damn good...

To be Continued...

MPS

2009-11-08T16:08:00.001-08:00

I was gonna title this post "Terrorism" because I have been terrorizing people, not in the way of blowing up people...no no no...But I didn't want google on my ass. So its blank.
I haven't been releasing poisonous gas, but natural gas.
Let me explain.

It all started some days ago, when M, the ugandan au-pair, gave me beans and dodo for lunch. Since then, I have sorta been releasing silent dangerous gas.
One day we were all in the car.
My brain sent a signal to my stomach.
"Dude...its time to release the nerve gas"
Stomach goes "Yessir!" next thing...
A silent "pffffff" and a "nice" smell filled the car.
And of course as a sharp naija boi, I had to wind down the window, and put on my innocent face. Before innocents were harmed...haha!
Last night, I was farting at the rate of 5 farts every 10 mins...(Maybe)
So lets calculate the Fart Rate, or Mess rate(MR)

MR= 5/10*60 =5/600
so my MR is 0.00833 MPS(MEss per second).
Chei! Beans!
I am sure it was the beans. Well, so I have a mess rate of 0.00833.
Whats yours ehn?
Lol.
Am I the world champion? Will I get the gold medal at the next MessOlympics or Fartolympics where all contestants will first demolish a whole plate of beans before taking part?
Men.
You should have seen me in church. I hadn't even had breakfast.
Yet I maintained a steady MR.
Luckily, there was an extra row between me and the next person...
Hehe...
I feel my belly rumbling..
See you guys later!

2009-11-07T06:44:00.000-08:00

A lot has been happening. I have been working on my alternate career, and a whole lot of things. The job search is going on well. A company in Amsterdam sent me some programming test which was worded in a fuzzy way, because they wanted to "test" my analytical skills..so your guy took 2 cups of coffee and worked all night and slept 5 that morning, and handed in the assignment. I felt really bad ass, cus I hadn't done that in ages.
I now had to extend my visa in this yeye country. Luckily, the woman who helped me was Ghanaian, and we talked quite well, but nna men, the visa cost was absolutely too much. I paid close to 500 euros, chei! All because I was extending my stay here. So the thing almost cleaned me out, but jah dey sha.
My relationship with R is going on nicely. There have been some challenges, but Gods been faithful, keeping me, and shes been a source of joy and support to me anyways.
I am watching a program on AIT uk. I haven't seen naija TV in ages, makes me feel like I am back at home. I see so many tight sexy orobos on TV, but R has made it clear that I am now her "Territory", and she won't allow me near any orobos :-) (In a nice way).
Imagine, mumsie went to open my facebook (through my sisters page), and was now questioning me to know if I have traveled anywhere and all that. I wonder o, but well, I got my own life to live.
Anyways, life is good, and I believe its getting even better!
Ciao people, and I will write when things get better...

Arising...

2009-10-22T08:20:00.000-07:00

Alright. I said it. I said the warrior in me won't let me get down, or be depressed...even if I want to. *Sigh

So it picked up like an automatic recovery mechanism...

I actually slept late much later after I had put up my "Father help me" post... R actually woke me up, got up at 5 minutes to one...in the afternoon. We basically spoke and we talked anyways...
So I sat down and looked at my life. I realize its easy to whine and complain, but I needed to make changes. So I decided to make some. And I set new goals.

1. By the end of next year, I would have moved out of this country, to a place I have in mind, and it will be smooth and easy.

So, with that in mind, I also had an epiphany. The situation with R, might be almost the same as my last real relationship, down to all the challenges...but I do have a choice, and I am at a different level of consciousness than I was a year, and 2 years ago..
So yeah I have decided to focus on my goals, and greatness, and giving R, the best that I can. I trust God to direct my path, and prevent me from stumbling. I cannot afford to focus on things I cannot control, or are not important...
If it turns out that R and I are not meant to be...let it all end or run smoothly :-)
Instead of worrying, I can focus on my future and the greatness I have to offer myself, and the world...
Men, I am 10 feet tall and bulletproof! I no fit shout :-)
I feel empowered and in control...I have chosen to be a victor today 22/10/2009. So help me God.
Jah dey sha.

Father...help me....

2009-10-21T18:45:00.000-07:00

I am writing this at home started 3.45 in the morning, and I am sad..sad to the extent that tears are actually present...flowing....

Its a bit crazy so lemme start. I dated someone (yeah its a woman), I felt I was going to get married to. I invested my life, body and heart, and even though I had my own flaws...I still tried to make it work. It was so bad, the fights would leave my right arm weak. After the end of July, I walked away. That was a 3 year relationship.
It was something I had to hold on to, because over here, in this strange land, I was all by myself. Everyone carrying their own cross. I tried working on myself, to be the rock, to be superman, but I guess every superman's got their kryptonite.

I ran into some other issues here. Tough ones. But I had my best buddy here, but he had to go back to naija. So I was left by myself. Then I met D. D, was from the Islands..and she was someone I could talk to. I remember being here all by myself on a sunday, and she was around, and I made her some Eba...she liked it.
We rolled together for a bit, and she's a nice person, but it wasn't gelling. I didn't think it would be right to take advantage of her, so I stopped. But still remained friends and civil with her. After all, I did step up to her, right?

All this was in the wake of looking for a new crib, and not yet seeing any dividends from my biz...though I will persist till I succeed. I found out that the government here chains all migrants to their day jobs. So doing anything extra to fetch cash, like starting your own biz, writing your own books, is seen as illegal. So I knew it was time to bail. I also had one other major issue which I wont discuss here, but was equally as challenging. I was bankrupt, barely surviving. I made a lot of bad financial decisions this year. I take responsibility. I do not blame anyone.

I was strong, took it in good faith.
Then I met R.

R was.... wonderful. We had attended the same university in naija, and I used to admire her from a distance. Then, I was a geek, and just focusing on making a first class. I had a WILD streak inside me, but I buried it, cus university was my last chance to make something of myself.
I met R, 2 months ago via facebook. Gosh, she was what I wanted in a woman, funny, down to earth, committed to raising a home, and she respected my wisdom and wanted me to mentor her..
During my times here, she became my companion. I tried not to rush things, but something became obvious, like I was repeating the pattern of my 3 year relationship..

R was wonderful. I didnt think of her as a rebound. I couldn't wait to hear her voice. Then...we found out we had different religions....first red flag, I guess....but I didn't care...I'd been down that road before...

Then I sorta found out some ish I didnt really really like, about her. And I tried to show love, and compassion, and not to fall apart like I did back then in my 3 year relationship...
But it didn't happen, and she suggested, we let go...we tried fasting about it...
But it just blew up this night...
And well, I decided to let go....
I lay in bed, and thought of if I gave this as a speech, and I began crying. Yeah, strong me. The pillar of inspiration...began shedding tears.
I didn't shed any tears when my 3 year relationship ended...
But I shed tears for R...

Because I seem to have repeated the same pattern, almost down to everything, that I had in my former real relationship...
Religion, seeing stuff I didn't like....leaving...
And I cant go through the mental torture again...

I am tired of being along, tired of living in this strange land by myself, tired of coming home to an empty house..

I know this is part of the walk towards my destiny, but like Jesus, I want this cup taken away from me.

I find someone I like...gosh, I loved R...
But shes gone, and I think I gotta let go..

I wish God wud hear me and show me who I am meant to marry for Gods sake...am tired of seeing everyone around me get hitched. My best buddy went back to naija because of this..

I fucking miss R. And I am asking myself, why this same cycle had to repeat itself again.

The only thing is it took 3 months instead of 3 years...

And even though I want to feel down, the warrior in me wont let me do so...

Shit!

Father help me, I can't sleep.

R... I am sorry, if you ever read this. Maybe I am writing this to....I dunno...
But I think these tears are real.
And blogging gives me therapy, I think.

Sorry R, that I couldn't handle it....I wish you the best...
Tried not to judge but I guess it all blew up...

There are many fishes in the sea, but theres only one R.
I feel relieved, I feel sad, I wish u were in my arms.

If you are reading this, and you leave a foolish comment...God help you.
Even men grieve. Let me be.
But if you have something encouraging to say, fine.

I am going back to my life, and to walk the road towards my greatness...
Father help me....I am alone.

Back

2009-10-06T08:07:00.001-07:00

Its been ages since I blogged....since July..wow! 3 months popping. Well, a lots been happening, where do I start from?
I'm now single again, and in no hurry to settle down again. I have been working a lot on myself, and adding value to people, and all that. Ive set new goals, and my life is now on Turbo pilot right now, but I aint worried because it will be fine.
I'm tired of this country, and working on my bail out plan. I cant stay in a place where the government has stupid laws prohibiting foreigners from earning money from other sources out of their day jobs. Were alasho.
Anyways sha, I miss home, miss the babes, the street, most especially the honeyz.
I came 3rd in my Toastmasters Table topics competition last week, I also was on the organizing committee... working my butt of..man, e no easy.
Something happened to me today...I ran into a blast from the past...I dunno if its a good thing or not.
Anyways. I wonder whats happening in my country. Its gotten to the extent that I do not like to even read Nigerian newspapers or sites, because they are filled with so much negativity and taking that into you every morning isn't going to help me at all.
I have some very wonderful female friends in my life God has blessed me with. Its funny...I wonder when or how my spouse will show up.
Speaking of spouses, everyones getting hitched. Gone were the days when guys wanted to make as much cash as possible before that. I mean, I know 2 of my guys still studying for their MSC's at my former university...yeah, that university which almost drove me mad...and they just ran back home and got hitched. It shows the ladies that they don't need to panic, because there are still guys who keep to their promises.
Me, though, with the sort of things going through my head then, I wasn't even seriously considering getting married. All my thoughts were about finishing the MSc as soon as possible!
Anyways sha, I wish everyone the best. I believe I am walking on my own path, and God help us all :-)
I have a brainwave for a new Straffe Okon novel..
Wud keep una posted.

Agent S Okon 7

2009-07-05T13:30:00.000-07:00

Reader Discretion is Advised

As he lay bruised and bleeding on the ground, straffe wondered how his life had come to this. He remembered after he had finished with Li Chang, and being debriefed by Ibrahim, in the deep subterranean offices of the CABAL.
Ibrahim looked really serious, at least this time he wasn't watching porn. He remembered looking at the contents of the disc which Li Chang had given him after a round of earth shattering sex.
"Okon, I have never known another man like you", the assassin purred in his ear, licking the outer area with her tongue, her voluptuous bosom heaving up and down. "I wanted so much to be taken by 'him', but you are like no other". By 'him' she meant the enigmatic chinaman. The shadowy figure behind the recent wave of female kidnappings in lagos state. Most of the victims were prostitutes, or girls no one would care about, so this ruled out MEND. Besides this had nothing to do with oil.

The chinaman was using the females as test subjects for something called 'Operation Black Magic' a project involving the use of DNA extracted from Nigerians to synthesize a 'fountain of youth' formula. Anyone who ingested this was instantly rejuvenated. And such a drug would sell for millions on the black market, so this was something a lot of international businessmen had a stake in.
They had gotten the location of the lab, where the final test was meant to be done, and after that, the chinaman was going to leave Nigeria finally with the prototype, which would be further synthesized beyond the shores of this country.
'We have to stop the final test Okon!' Ibrahim boomed. 'If we allow them to leave with the prototype, it will trigger a genocide, involving our people!'

The idea of a world without his big beautiful naija sisters, and being consigned to a lifetime of friendship with his right hand, held no appeal for our hero. Actually he didn't need his right hand since other nationalities were available, but you get the picture.
So, he had located the secret lab, taken out the guards, and was about to strap explosives to the containment chamber holding the chemicals, when he felt a numbing pain between his shoulder blades. He collapsed on the ground, and as he struggled to get up, a foot caught him in his ribs, followed by a left hook to his jaw. He went down again, and through a red haze, he could make out the features of his attacker.
High cheek bones, distinctly Asian, or Chinese, slanted eyes.
'Who are you?' he gasped.....
I am 'Nuo Long Tin' the man sneered. 'Wait, the Chinaman!' Okon exclaimed. 'Yes I am called that in some circles' the man said. 'And I can tell you came here to stop me, but you cannot hope to defeat me'. The man went into a martial arts stance, and launched a kick at Okons chest. At the last moment he moved out of the way. No way he was getting injured. Since his country didn't have health insurance..
Nuo Long Tin stalked him like a cat. 'I am a trained killer, and have killed with my bare hands.' 'I have also trained in advanced martial arts', he bragged.

'But I sabi one tin wey u no sabi' Okon said in pidgin english...
What did you say? asked the chinaman...
'This', Okon said, as he kicked the chinaman in the balls. Twice. Hard. The man went down like a bowling pin. He noticed a measuring cylinder or something similar and slammed it over the mans head. Not as effective as a Star or Gulder bottle, but effective.
Later on, following a call to the CABAL's clean-up crew, the unconscious Nuo Long Tin, was bound, and taken away, and the chemicals,destroyed. Okon was nowhere to be found.

'Why isn't he answering his cell phone?' Ibrahim asked in exasperation. He'd been trying to call Staffe for days, but the agent wasn't picking up his calls. He was also grumpy as his wife had found his porn collection, and was getting all spiritual on him..

EPILOGUE

The woman moaned with pleasure, feeling the waves ride down the base of her spine, as he licked the insides of her thick thighs slowly, ever so slowly, till he got to her enormous backside, which he began to bite softly....the woman moaned even louder, as she felt the throes of an orgasm consume her...again, for the fifth time.
The man bent her over, and slid inside her, holding her large ass...'Nackson aint got nothing on me', he thought, as he ignored the buzz of his cellphone as he pounded inside her hard. He felt himself, about to come....as his orgasm arrived, he smiled....
His name was Straffe Okon, and he was doing what he did best. ....

Tribute to MJ

2009-06-28T14:59:00.001-07:00

I was on facebook a couple of nights ago, and I saw status messages about Micheal Jacksons death. I was like, hell no...MJ was one of those people that you just felt would be around for ages. I went up to check CNN, and I Stayed up waiting for a confirmation, till it came around 2 am my time, that the legend had passed on...
I wanted to do a post about MJ but I was sooo lazy about it..but he deserves it...so here goes:

I remember when I was young, in what seems like a lifetime ago..
seeing this guy on TV with amazing dance steps..
Absolutely fascinating to a young kid like me...
My older sis had paper and magazine clips of you...
She used to keep em in an album.
Although now shes spiro (Spiritual), so she might deny that (lol)
I wanted to do a drawing of you, and I asked her how to spell 'Jackson'
Thats when I discovered that 'son' wasn't 'sin'
I watched 'Thriller' with my neighbors then, and I remember us running to the far corner of the room
cus we felt em zombies were actually coming for us
I actually got the thriller album as a gift then...
And even though you evolved as time went by.
You were an inspiration to kids, dancers, and all alike
I watched the video to learn how to moonwalk
All in a bid to attract chicks of course..hehe
I am sorry about the parasites you had around you
I am sure those allegations were fake anyways
Fools wanting to reap where they didn't sow..
I am watching ginuwine on TV now
I'm sure you inspired him in some way..
Well dude, hope you are in a better place...
Maybe 'thrilling' the angels...
I'm sorry about your lost childhood and stuff..
I have my opinion but make dem no kan sue me..
I got into university, and my boys and I (Fellow geeks)
were eating lunch at one buka (You wont know that)
And 'smooth criminal' came on...
And we stayed behind watching the video..
Even Ike, the most hardened cynic of us all...
Was tripping for your stepping...
Instead of studying, we were reading MJ102..
When some fools who felt they were cool..
Wanted to make fun of me....
They used to call me 'wacko jacko'
I only later discovered what it meant..
Well man, I have to go..
'Beat it' just came on the TV..
As a thought, I wonder how you had a doc in the house
And you still had cardiac arrest..
Hmm, well dat na my own sha..
God knows all and will judge accordingly
You made us blacks proud..
Even with your skin issues and all...
RIP bro...
You ARE a legend..
And I don't think anyone will ever take your crown..

Wavemasta..

Just found this video explaining why you did stuff to your skin..
Amazing how people just like to judge..
But I guess we humans are like that..
MJ sun re o! (Sleep well o!)

PS: If you drop a comment, please drop a line for MJ...no hating please...thanks!

2009-06-17T03:22:00.000-07:00

Ouch! I had my wisdom teeth taken out, on the left side of my mouth...now my left ear has an ache, and my teeth also in that region...whats a brother supposed to do...all because I wan do fine boy? And I went to the bone surgeon's twice....today he just told me there was nothing he could do, and that I should give it time. I got some pain killers (Which I had to ask for), and thats it.
I have been very lazy, and left off martial arts training for like 2 weeks now...I need to get back and practice again... Toastmasters was nice..I won a speaker award last meeting..and someone said its a Nigerian thing, referring to my ability to be spontaneous and to come up with ideas on the spot. My friend told me he didn't want to sound nasty, but he felt it was inborn, i.e that we were all smooth talkers, and he mentioned he'd met some of us who were con-artists....the way my guy was like 'Damn! You guys are good' expression. Anyways he agreed with me that it's just a few of us using our 'talents' for bad things, and obviously they all know (Thanks to people like me), that not all Nigerians are like that. I have made myself, an unofficial one-man ambassador of Nigeria, ko easy sha, but I dey try.

On the chicks side, men, my armor seems to be cracking...see, this prayer of 'Lead us not into temptation' men, some kinds of temptations exist such that, you will walk into it as if you are in a trance...Now, even though I don't condone infidelity in any side of the relationship (Man, or woman), I now understand how some men fall...I just think God loves me specially, and he manages to yank me out of stuff ...lol..

For our next toastmasters meeting, I am helping someone with her speech, and it involves me dressing up as a chick...the woman doing the speech is bringing me a wig and a wrapper. Guys, don't roll eyes..this is me...wavemasta...lover of all women big and beautiful (Well, beauty is a plus, but as long as all the 'assets' are present....lol) so, I haven't changed my sexual orientation, or decided to wear women's thongs, and no I am not trying to 'channel my inner woman'..so make una relax.

I haven't been to church in 2 weeks, I gotta go this week...its just that men, my church far small, and as I haven't bought the Audi yet, yes I know excuses hexcuses...hehe..don't worry my soul is intact.

I had a good laugh with a naija friend, looking at some chicks facebook pictures. Women, I love you all, but please, if you don't have a large butt, or a shapely butt, then do not, take those back shot pictures where the lady is looking over her shoulder...I mean this womans own was FLAT...I mean, I could drive a car on it, and not hit any bumps or 'pot-holes' (lol)....My guy was trying to defend the chick telling me that her breasts could compensate for the flatness of the behind, but I staunchly told him...no no....I mean what if I wanted to ...*er.... you know what? Some kid might be reading this...lemme leave the raunchy stuff up to some people.

*Sigh...Life is good anyways...

I have a question for you people...can a dude really be monogamous? I mean, I used to think so, but events have been happening and I have been philosophizing about it...funny how much time you got to think when you live alone...
Now I am not asking this question because I have 'plans'....its just a question...I know female folk can stay more than 2 years without it...but can a dude do that? Even if he might not wanna hit it...he still might want to test his 'hunter' instinct...this is no battle of the sexes..just been doing some thinking..

Anyways, I gotta go chop...remember make love, and not war..

2009-05-29T15:49:00.000-07:00

Men, let me blog this thing before it gets to the end of the month and I haven't updated. A lot has been happening sha, but lemme start.
I almost fell into temptation sha, ko easy, God helped me out of the thing. I now realize that as a guy its only God that can save you, because there are some things that you see, and you will just enter 'hunter mode', funny thing was that I feel, and want to believe that if I had gone home and slept and spent two days on it, my 'rational mind' would have kicked in....you know the one which reminds you of your commitments and blah blah. But I think God stepped in...so my brothers out there, just pray that jah doesn't allow you to meet your waterloo..
Speaking of commitments, I can say I have learned a lot about myself, and about what I can and cannot stand in a woman, and one of those characteristics I cannot stand is that shes 'Thin'! ewwwww.....(I have cake beside me...don't want to lose my appetite)
Afrobabe said one benue babe would finish me in my last post....see, lets put this thing to the test, last man standing...hmm, let me not begin calling my oriki for you..lol...
Men, work has just been there, 3 projects all on my head, and me just coding and coding trying to reach the customers deadline. Luckily we have ANOTHER holiday (Eat your heart out guys!) on monday, so I get 4 days...bliss..
Now, all I need is a large calabar babe to....preach to...lemmme win 'souls'...
Lets talk football. Yeah football.....
Now I am not a footie fan, I am more of a political football fan.
Lemme break it down for you.
My number one team is Man U.
Then, if arsenal plays another team, I always support arsenal.
Then if arsenal and man u jam, I always support man U.
Yes, its dirty, sleazy, and amala politic-like, but its my system, and I'm sticking to it! lol...
There was so much beef against man U esp when they lost....is it the inherent dislike for people who are at the top of their game, or was this just friendly 'yabs' in the name of football? Some nigerian dude went and drove a van into Barca supporters, and killed 4 of em.
I stopped being so interested in football, after peter rufai messed up at france 98. I mean why on earth would you go clubbing the night before a match?
Then when I saw a player being driven to work in his hummer, I asked myself one question:

'Who's gonna watch you on TV, wavemasta'?

And I decided to make a future for myself, instead of killing myself like nigerians do, over guys who will make millions from a single match, win or lost. Don't get me wrong. I don't hate the game....I just do not understand lengths people take it to.

I have goals, and dreams, written goals with plans to make them happen. I have burnt my bridges and theres no turning back....

My friend and colleague at work was gisting me about ways of scoping chicks here, because frankly I had to ask, though I wasn't going to implement:

'Why do dutch girls act like they don't like to have sex?'

I mean, for a country known as the sex capital of europe...I mean I had a former classmate suggest I go stay in a room with one of the prostitutes in the red light district, and that would take care of free accommodation....I wondered if it was just me, or why were they acting as if they had things stuck up their backsides?
My friend was telling me that well, they want a lot (Typical chick behavior), and they are always sizing the guy up to see if he has a good position at work so he can take them for vacations....kai.......
He then told me of how an African man walked up to his chick and demanded her phone number just like that...lol....she went home fuming and told my guy, of course he found it funny...which is why he kept saying 'hmm here, we cannot do it like they do it in Africa'...oh and my friends black, but theres some white in him somewhere...
I felt sorry for his poor wife..lol...maybe our brother was tired of all the agro,and decided to 'take the kingdom' by force.....

I had a nice toastmasters meeting today, I was grammarian of the evening, which mean't I was in charge of monitoring peoples 'bullets' shot during the course of their speeches....a role I destroyed naija style...lol...
My romanian friend is my mentor...very nice one though, I think she will make a good teacher....

Now before I go, lemme show you a picture of another fine bebe (Ibo accent), I am going to buy. I claim it in Jesus name, loruko jesu, amin, amin...all enemies that want to prevent me from stepping into my destiny, fall down and (insert favorite torture here)...
This bebe in fact, odikwa riski, not to have this bebe...

Her name is BMW (Be My Wife) X6....
Please dear, will you marry me....chei...aristo...do I hear an amen somebody? LOL!

Now guys, my tea and cake are calling me at past one o clock sat morning...

I miss my (non-existent) big burriful wife, and lovely kids...

Una go manifest soon, no worries...

Good night people!

2009-05-22T03:50:00.000-07:00

Today's a public holiday, yesterday was one also, and I am just chilling. Later today, I'm going to delft to hook up with some of my boys..theres also some singles program in the church there, and free jollof rice...hey don't blame me, wetin man fit do? The weather here is now excellent, and so sunny, and it's lifting my spirits...hehe..
Well, nothing much has been happening, I saw 'star trek', and once I got past the 'sylar' persona of zachary quinto, I admit he did a good job and the movie wasn't screwed up. A valuable lesson this place has taught me is the art of taking care of myself, i.e pampering myself, and handling myself with care. If you don't do it for you, then who's gonna do it? My former flatmate is back to italy, after finishing his thesis, and so I have a 3 floor crib to myself, complete with all the works. Do I hear houseparty, women, and booze anyone? lol...
Speaking of the chicks....I've noticed that my hunger has become harder to control, and that sometimes I am chaffing at the restraints. I bin wondering about the virtues of polygamy..I mean if I have like 5 big beauties, that should be enough to keep me 'gainfully' occupied...then each of those 5 would be from different tribes...lets say 2 Yoruba, one Ibo, one Calabar, one Benue (*running away from afrobabe..)...
I do pressups and workout with my dumbbells so I won't have any injuries..hehe
But seriously, being in this position has made me understand why some guys do what they do, and the difference between guys and chicks. I know girls who have told me they have no issues just being on their own..but you see, girls do not wake up in the morning with a certain part of their anatomy pointing towards the ceiling...for us it seems its more of satisfying an urge without any emotional attachment..but for chicks, its the emotions...which is why girls are always like 'hold me'...thats after the *ahem of course...
And to think I go stay with just one for the rest of my life...well sha, I guess thats why you always make sure its worth it :-)
It explains why and how guys can cheat and well, its socially acceptable than if a chick does the same....a guy can just do his thing and walk without any meaning attached to it, but my sisters have their hearts in there....not an excuse though..I advocate fidelity from both parties...anyways e go better.
My work is good, just that at times I put myself under pressure especially if my code doesn't work the way I want it to...being your own motivator can be daunting but God dey anyways...
On another note, I just bought eminems new album, 'Relapse'. Check out 'medicine ball' track where he imitated christopher reeve rapping...slim shady won't make me lose my head laughing..

Now, I am so in love with this ride, I just salivate over it..lol.. I will buy it, prolly before I get married..

Audi S5

Next, I absolutely am getting this immediately...lol..

PSP-3000

My Dutch is improved...went for a bank interview, the guy just dey speak the thing to me..well I understood a bit, and could flow back..
Gosh I miss naija...
Laterz!

2009-05-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I can blog this cus I am sitting in front of my departure gate back to my hood...arghh...
The emirates is lovely. I got to see the fishes, and all of the nice things its known for. I really wish we could have lovely things like that back home in places like Lagos, where normal middle class families would just be able to chill with their families, and take their sons out without fear of harassment or intimidation.
I won't even consider blogging from MMI airport back home..lol...someone asked me if I would still remember how to get back from there to my crib in naija...
Anyways sha, now I am back to my old life and routine, and to tell you guys, I am not so happy about it at all. I try to reach out to my colleagues at the office, but everyone seems to have their own thing going on, so to just go out and have a drink after work seems outta the question. I got my naija peeps here, but some dey write project, some are still trying to escape "Alcatraz"

Well, I will just keep on doing my projects and keep my attitude positive in that land of bread and cheese...gosh!

I am looking forward to watching "Star Trek". I want to see sylar (Zachary Quinto) play spock, and see if he got the role right.

What else...well, I got to see different kinds of exotic fish in the aquarium, and was joking with my friends that if it was back in lagos, they would have used the fish to do pepper soup...lol...

Well, my gist is boring, nothing much happening.
I have followed the situation back home in Ekiti State, with those old ladies who went naked to protest. In spite of all that the "owners" still did what they wanted to do with the elections.
It's so crazy, and I hear fuel scarcity is on the rampage, and we are supposed to be exporting a large amount of petrol everyday. I heard some gist about us being suspended from OPEC, because we export oil, but the money isn't showing in our country. I mean, check out these dubai people...when did they start? We had oil before them, but, no, some corrupt dudes just want to chop it all.

I also heard theres a "Brain Gain" back in Nigeria, because Nigerians in diaspora are coming back home to take up good jobs. I even hear some companies are recruiting. I saw some posts on nairaland about it...I got to see typical bad belle from some home based peeps..I mean, theres enough of the pie to go around. No one would hire a naija only university trained graduate over someone from a prestigious foreign uni like Harvard, MIT, or my very own (hehe) TUDelft, except if they were highly exceptional.
I saw a lot of complaints about phonetix, and the usual rhetoric about diasporean peeps not having "skillz" or complaining about the size of their paycheck in comparison to their Nigerian counterparts. Guys should just stop beefing and begin to
appreciate.If you are not satisfied with where you are, then upgrade! Add to yourself instead of whining. The whiners didn't make the sacrifices some made to succeed and yet, some still beef them when they succeed.
The link is here.
Imagine, one %$##@ said that the beneficiaries from this "Brain Gain" are kids of the "elite" or the "rich". Dude...stop whining. Become rich. Serve others, make an impact. Me, I am rich, will be rich, and screw anyone who beefs me chopping the fruits of my labor.

Whew! I just ranted.....*sigh

I just had a stimulating conversation with a pretty business developer half-french Moroccan and an engineer beside me and made good contacts..

Well guys, seems my flight is about to be ready,I just saw stewardesses in red *wink so I gotta run...ciao!

2009-05-07T02:01:00.000-07:00

Hey peeps how far?
After being fed up of this place where people eat bread 3 times a day (I always wondered how they would cope if they ran out of flour), and getting seriously stressed, I just decided to do what any normal omo boy would do... which is I bailed.
I took out some time out of my allocated holiday time given to me by my company and just bailed... I planned my vacation to make the most of weekends and public holidays.
Men, vacations are very important. So, I hung out with the gf, had fun, watched 'X-men origins: Wolverine' which is a very tight movie by the way. Spoiler Alert: They shot a scene in Nigeria,and the guys were speaking Ibo...lol...
Now, I am in a nice hotel with a nice view of the beach...now all I need are orgies...wait, I didn't say that..I mean't .....

Ah, never mind....lol....

I have one project waiting for me back at my base.. not to mention other things.....

Anyways Jah dey.

See you guys later.

Happy Birthday!

2009-04-21T13:53:00.000-07:00

This is for you baby...it's been 3 years now....walking this path.

I thank God for your life and for adding another year to it.......

I pray God continues to increase you in wisdom and understanding..

And you keep growing and you reach your dreams..

To the best girlfriend and companion in the world.

Happy Birthday sweetheart..

Love you loads...

*sigh...I've always being a romantic..but not the Ramsey Noah type....ewwww...lol..

2009-04-12T11:32:00.000-07:00

Happy easter my peeps, God bless y'all. I should have updated but men I have just been so lazy. Working on projects and a whole lot, anyways...
I didn't gist you that I gave my icebreaker speech at toastmasters. The icebreaker is like your 'initiation' speech, and funnily enuff I won best speech of the evening, and I am like...Wow! That was kinda like 2 weeks back.
From there on in my office they have done another internal rearrangement. Now my managers table is kinda behind me..I am not sure if thats good or bad...hehehe. Now before you peoples minds start flying to different dimensions, just know that some sites are blocked in my office. Yeah those geeks have been working overtime. So, no porn, you tube doesn't play videos, hi5, FACEBOOK (Thank God!), meebo,yahoo messenger etc...but trust me sha, I get back door for chatting, only thing is I get caught up in work so much that I do not think about those things...I can also use blogger but cannot read the comments, those get blocked also...but I got a back door, etc.

I actually succumbed and went to watch the movie that everyones raving about 'Jenifa'. I heard it was hilarious..anyways it was one of those movies that when you watch, you actually get embarrassed for the actor/actress, and you do not want to watch again. But sha it was funny in some areas, but they passed across some erroneous info in the movie. Part which creeped me out was where some chicks went in a bus for some supposed party, and in the middle of it, ritualists just came out and slaughtered em all. The chicks were meant to dress in yellow and black, and the ritualists had the same thing on...so any chick dem see like dat, na die be that.
Got me thinking...sure its a movie, but most of us Africans or Nigerians do think that way. When are we gonna realize that getting rich is not a matter of 'jazz' but about your mindset, and willingness to trade value, (not your body), for money?
It beats me also why some men think that by slaughtering a fellow human being, they can turn them into a human ATM, spewing out dollars? And these lies, and myths are actually believed by guys with exposure. You cannot get bill gates kinda cash like that...I kid you not.

At my toastmasters meeting, I got chatting with this Romanian babe...very geeky but hot..we got talking about the different issues in our countries, and she told me that her country also had corruption, and also she believed that all countries had good and bad people, so she didn't think my country was that bad..we ended up in a sort of contest as in 'whose country's issues are the craziest'..she asked me if I had plans to change the system, you know go back, etc...I shared some of my plans, but let her know that our corruption and ish are perpetuated by people who went out of the country, but went back and got sucked into the system.
I mean back in my university in naija, some of the lecturers chasing skirts went to top schools like oxford, etc...but they came back and well, they got 'systemed'.
I do not believe that will happen to me. Only thing is that omo boy is gonna open his eyes well....
Now see me, o, thank God I got new supplies of garri and egusi to last me...hehe, jah dey. I spend wey too much cash on books on self development..I pray it pays off oooh.
I always get into arguements with my housemate..he loves leaving the toilet seat up, and I like it down. The annoying thing is when I get to the bathroom, and he leaves the door wide open, and the seat up..he says it's always like that at the company, but so freaking what? lol... I told him his chick would complain, but he says no..
Anyways, I was at work on good friday, but tomorrows free for me...make I use am relax.
Ok, I just added this later to this post. I was chatting with a childhood friend of mine, and like most times he said things in yoruba like 'God will do it', and etc etc, and sometimes I would just say amen, or make faces, (nice ones), nothing freaky, just in tune with my personality..but do you know that he later began asking me if I was an atheist? I mean WTF? I am against false religion, and I don't believe I must say God every 5 mins to 'defend' my faith. Na wa oo.. there are so many people who must use God as a noun, adjective, etc and still commit the most heinous atrocities, so when people keep saying 'we thank God', 'God is on the throne', etc...I am like in my mind 'yeah we know all that, but be real for once...arghhh!' Don't know if anyone feels me... but the guy apologize sha, but it just got me thinking...
Safe!

o4kasibe!

2009-03-20T16:08:00.000-07:00

This week has been one helluva week. Lets see where to start.
I have been adjusting to single life, with its ups and downs. Since I let anaconda out of his cage, hes been breathing in fresh air, and trying to attune himself to his surroundings. Unfortunately he hasn't been able to 'feed' yet. Poor guy. I keep trying to reassure him that soon, he will feed and feed well.
Now, I've been listening to DJ ZEEZ, and this guy is the ish..his songs are so tight with sick beats, and his songs are mostly in yoruba, as in street yoruba, and he is an ibo dude, born n bred in Lagos.. a bariga boy to be exact.
I stumbled on this hit jam 'o4kasibe' and I was tripped. 'o4kasibe' means that your deeds will be known in all the four cardinal points of the earth. Anyways sha, I set it for my ring tone. Now at todays toastmasters meeting, I Was assigned the role of 'wordmaster'. This means I get to pick a word, and talk about it, and people who make speeches try to use that word in their speech, and its my job to track how many people use it. So our theme for tonight was 'exploring the senses' and the word I chose for the day was 'sensual'. For you to be reading my blog, I know you're intelligent so don't ask me what it means. If you wanna know, ask afrobabe, ibiluv, or badderchic, and please sisters I love u all, don't come here and kill me oo..lol...
Anyways, we first did whats called a table topic session. They call you out and you have to make a speech about something, sharp sharp. This evening, when they call you out, they blindfold you, and give you an object, tell you if its edible or not, and then you guess what it is. After then, you get the blind taken off, then you talk about what you held. When it was my turn, I was blind folded, and something round was put in my hands. Now it wasn't long and hard, if so, I for swear for dem mama, and it wasn't large and soft...else I would have...
Instead it turned out to be small and round and hard, and it was a tangerine. When I gave my freestyle speech it was about how tangerines could, in addition to its primary purpose (food), be used in a sensual way, between man and woman. I mentioned I didn't know about tangerines, and man and man, but no one caught the joke.
Na so I Dey in the meeting, when person call me. And guess what my ringtone is 'o4kasibe'. Chei! I wanted to bury my head in embarrassment! It happened twice during someones speech.Luckily my caller stopped and I was able to put it in vibrate during the time for the speech applauses, because the phone was in my coat, and my coat was at the end of the room.
So, there I was looking fly, emi fine boi, lookin sexy, next thing, as I dey beside this fine woman who just gave a speech about sleepy hollow, na so I mess.
The mess I messed was silent, and deadly. When I realized I had violated the UN peace treaty, I almost began praying that 'Please God, let this fart move the opposite way'. Cus the way this oyibo womans nose looked, ehn, e be like say in fit detect am.
So, in order to get to my meeting on time, I had to take a taxi, which was my last card. Luckily I got a return ticket, and when I got to my city, I felt I cud bobo a taxi to carry me home then I'd pay him back on monday. Lailai, dem no gree. I had tried all my cards, credit, debit, to get some small cash, nuthin happen.
Well, After crying to God for help, I walked to the bus driver for the bus going my way, waited till I Was the last, and begged him to let me ride.
If you are reading this, then I got home safe...lol...there are still kind people out there, and I made sure I took the exit close to him so I could say good night to him. Thanks Opa (grandad) for helping out. Shows there are still nice people around.
This weekend I will just stay indoors. I made some financial decisions which put me in my present predicament, like looong fone calls to my ex using my former contract fone line...but you know now, I was in lurve...lol..you women have us guys on lockdown, so quit the feminist bullshit, and accept the fact that you are different and not inferior. But una get wayo, one time, woman go talk say, she be feminist and wants 'equal rights', but in Nigeria, she can block the road with her car, and can shout, 'I'm a woman' and you can't do jack. A woman did that to us, and all of us had to reverse. And there was no car behind her.
God save us ooo..

2009-03-12T16:08:00.000-07:00

Today I went for Aikido lessons. My body still hurts. Learn t how to break arms.
My dutch has improved. I was able to yarn one of our cleaning ladies (shes pretty but shes thin) in dutch, and I was like...wow.
I broke up finally two days ago.
Couldn't paddle a canoe alone which was meant for 2 people.
Now the ancient hunger has awakened within me.
No woman is safe.
Am I the last of a dying breed?
Why does every girl want to be thin and anorexic?
What if I have to compromise and I end up marrying a thin girl (yuck!)
I love my big girls.
The way my hands roam about their curves...
The way they carry emselves...
Of course I only like the ones wey get shape...
Now, I have released the padlock on my anaconda...
Now hes hungry, and well, either I go back to naija or....
And my dreams are coming close to being a reality.
Please if you are big and beautiful, don't lose weight.
Wavemastas coming to a hood near you...
If you read this post, holla at your sisters, divorced friends, etc...
Cus I'm Santa Claus coming to 'ho ho ho' at y'all
LOL
I do not feel any pain about the breakup.
Just emptiness.
Maybe the pain will come later, maybe not.
And wondering, how I will meet the woman of my dreams...
The one created for me...
who will allow me to pleasure her beyond her wildest fantasies..
who I will love and respect and she will do the same...
Does she exist in fantasy land?
Or is she now in the palm of my hand?
Damn damn which kind life be this...
almost close to a year without getting any....
This suffering must end..
I know I am rambling and all.....
Lemme get back to watching burn notice...
And to plan my vacation..
Thinking of some exotic island in the pacific
Thank God I am no longer jumping okadas in Lagos
I Can now plan trips to places I only used to read about..
To God be the glory..
Hopefully I might just find a big beautiful woman with high self esteem...
*sigh guys I am out...

Adult?

2009-03-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

Who flagged my blog for Adult content for heavens sake?
I don't write porn..I mean, what on earth?

Dream List

2009-03-09T13:21:00.000-07:00

Now, I ask myself...what would I do if I had 100 million dollars in the bank and could do anything I want?

Warning: Doing this exercise will bring out whats really inside you...lol...

1. Start my own companies, in different areas, do new inventions, be named in Forbes 400 richest people in the world, and the most powerful people in the world

2. Travel round the world....thailand, china, usa, fiji, tonga, spain....go to a different place every month...just with my backpack, n explore with or without knowing anyone...

3. Lie on the beach with sunglasses on with a big chick beside me and me saying 'screw the world'

4. Start up my charity organization and pump cash into revolutionizing the way our Nigerian youths think

5. Have a harem of big beautiful women..and have orgies (This is only if theres no God and I am single and no one gets hurt...lol..which is why its a fantasy)

6. Marry my ideal woman, have kids, including things, do crazy stuff together...including wild amazing sex (yes, I know I think about it all the time...)

7. Skydive maybe....mountain climbing, skiiing, snowboarding...

8. Learn as many languages as I can, and get my black belt in aikido...lol..

9. Support the work of God by giving to my church and wherever he directs me to

10. Make a massive contribution to my field (Software Development)...

11. Support my wife's dreams, to the max..

12. Give a speech to the united nations and get a standing ovation...

*sigh
Let me stop there. Guys, the way things are going, you might see me ending up marrying one oyibo big chick oo...some of em are veryyyy nice....but seems the binding spell I put on my anaconda is working too well, except of course when I am at work...men God, well when you were giving out s-drives, you gave your son a triple portion...
God...wheres my ideal woman....the one who will be able to match me in EVERY way? The one who wont run and report me to 'Aunt Agathas' column in the Nigerian independent newspaper as wanting to kill her with kokomycin overdose?
The one who I will love n respect n she will do the same back, and we meet each others needs, and both of us will come first?
Hey...maybe I have her right now and I aint seeing it..
Jah dey anyways...
Cheers guys!

I tag.....everyone who comes to this page....trust me..this exercise can change your life....it has mine...lol

2009-03-04T14:23:00.000-08:00

Guys welcome to the month of march, may we all march 4ward this month in Jesus name, amen.
Ok, enuff with the spiro yarns, lets get busy.

Updates
My dreams are about to manifest, and things have happened. Things are happening, I am on the fast lane. But lets wait anyways, and see.
Okon
I will only update straffe okon if I have enough 'requests'..lol
So far
Men work is good, and my dutch is improving. I can just imagine me yarning these chicks dbanj's lyrics in dutch, tellin em the koko...men dem go just die. Well life's just there, once again I am in a big house, cold, broke, and well I am not discouraged...but men if this was naija, I could have been sandwiched between two big juicy ones, but unfortunately this aint happening here, so its manageable for now...lol.
One of my colleagues has taken to speaking only dutch to me by force. He did this when trying to show me a jessica simpson CD, which he bought in Saudi. The arabs (hypocrites) had colored her bare arms and any part of her body showing some skin, with a black marker....so they wanted to hijab here as well...God help us.
The fasting is over...a whole frigging month of February and I will so so not do it again...whew..
I feel like a prisoner in this country at times, sure they are organized and have a wonderful system, but they are so freaking strict especially with us Nigerians, so its been so difficult getting my loved ones to come visit me here. I am so tired of suffering for the sins of some idiots who sit behind a screen and send scam mails to people. They get small money and go to some clubs and spend money on foolish girls who are plotting how to get cash out of them without giving up the coochie...
And people like us get to suffer for it. I told one of my colleagues that I'd like to do something about changing the image of Nigerians, but he told me that would be difficult, why? Well he just got another email from some guy called 'gladys nkaka'...gosh...
I read a business development book where the author advised against accepting orders from known mail fraud countries such as 'Nigeria'. I was stunned. This was someone I respected, and I applied the principles he taught..but this?
One of my brothers in church was telling me how Nigerians invited their friends over here and they would take off and leave the friend to pay the 50k euro fine.
But like someone said, Americans and others commit crimes also, and the yanks are responsible for the global financial meltdown. So why dem dey beef us? Especially Oprah?
Anyways sha, God dey, we will overcome...

Men, I got my first aikido lesson tomorrow, and toastmasters on friday.....
No one is doing house fellowship at my crib. I will not have talk about how oral sex is 'sinful' in my love-nest..lol
Safe!

Thangs....

2009-02-22T05:58:00.000-08:00

Sunday....enuff things men..anyways lets jump into it. Had my pastor and his wife over at my crib yest, it was nice, they liked my neighborhood..anyways they talked about trying to set up some singles events to link up all the 'decent sistas' and 'brothas' over here, who've graduated and are working, and well, looking for a yarinya. I wasn't down, since I am off the market, but I mentioned these to some friends of mine, who incidentally didn't belong to my church and they were more than interested...see the depths people would go to to just come to church..lol..
Something happened today which made me thank God I didn't take the Sunday school post, especially when they taught about stuff I do not believe in. From my position as technical person...I coordinate the slides for the service, so imagine when I saw the title.. sunday school "The moral dangers of modern dancing"...in my spirit filled head, I Was like WTF? These people done come again...and yeah it was exactly as I imagined. Let me break it down....dancing in the world today is meant to be evil, as it contains guys holding women they aren't married to, etc, and the choreography involves stimulating parts of the body...it promotes nakedness, etc.

They now linked it to the story of the golden calf, cus the Israelite where worshiping that thing and dancing....But for crying out loud, their sin, was worshiping an idol, not dancing. They even said it was the "devils" strategy for luring people since its the end times, etc. Men I began to ask myself, wetin be all this? This was the kind of things, and issues I had with xtianity, and even though I know these things are just peoples opinions, it still disturbs one. I had visions of myself not being able to celebrate my birthday, call my boiz, and just relax, or not been able to dance at my own wedding, cus I go dey think....what will they say?
Ol boi...f** that... If I wanna do konko below anywhere, I go do am, and if no one likes that, or think I'm any less of a xtian, because I do not carry the badge of always listening to gospel music, then so be it.
Of course I know people can go to extremes, and all that, and that one should be moderate in all stuff, but just to condemn an entire genre is wrong. They now said the dancing must only be for "Gods glory"..pray, who defines what Gods glory is? If I am happy, and having fun without trying to hurt anyone, is that not gloryfying? Soon, it will extend to what we listen to, read, etc...

I almost lost my mind over this some time back and never had anything to do with church folk because of that...its only madam that psyched me to go back, now I had to hear this....unfortunately, I will just have to just bone face, and just take what I Agree with and discard what I don't cus I can't say I wont go to church again because of that....wait till you see what they wrote about marriage algebra....jah dey sha. We were asked if we wanted to agree or disagree with what was said, but u know our naija pple, if I now raised my hand, dem go tag me as bad boi...so I just remove mind comot...
Sigh...religion...we got so much of it in Nigeria, yet we aren't moving forward...makes u ask some very tough questions.

I got so many novels, and books to read, and I am doing my language homework...arghhhh...which kin thing be this? We had a deliverance service today, and I was determined not to fall when hands were being laid on me...but I received a lot, and prayed for my loved ones n their families...
And my pastors son, likes to drag the keyboard with me, when I am trying to do the presentation slides for the service...anyways he's just still small....lol...
Anyways back to the issue of hooking us single brothas n sistas up...ol boi....after seeing some of the specimens here, no offense, I'd rather stay single n visit mrs hand...and thats in the event that I was single anyways which I Am not...thing is, I am not one of those people who settle for less because "ahh you cannot always have everything" , and "ooh, let us just manage"...someone once said something I like which is..."when the available becomes desirable, simply because the desirable becomes unavailable, then you are in bondage"....thing is, what I got going with my chick is too special, so if I have to wait longer...(almost a year now), then so be it...if I go one like this, I hope I don't begin to suffer from premature... afro can fill in the part, I am sure...lol..

Anyways guys, I am still here, still aiming for the top, and for my goals...and nothing, is gonna stop me...
laters!

2009-02-15T06:28:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, whats going on? Hows it been? It's been ages since I blogged..don't know where to start, so I will just rant.
Ok...now what is this with our president and his vacations? Do presidents do vacations? Isn't it too early for one? From what I gathered its like he didn't tell anyone anything, which I find a bit odd. And to my next favorite story, the goat which was apparently a former human being called 'salihu' (I kid you not) has been auctioned for like 3k naira...I will check it out and be sure. I wonder about our Nigerian witches and jazzmen. Seriously if I was a wizard, I'd be pimping on the highest levels. Today, na yankee, tomorrow, na london...shebi they have one special magic which allows em to teleport, just like the 'jumper' movie. In fact, I'd be so cool all the ladies would be tripping. If anyone comes to me for consultation, I'd bring out my laptop and load Oracle 9.1 (Ifa version), and use it to divine their futures.
Methinks Nigerian witches and jazzmen need some PR and rebranding.
Imagine, they even have some bulletproof jazz. Imagine what that would do to Nigeria's GDP. Making patents for the US army...men make I no talk.
I finally began taking steps towards my dream. Yeah my company, and for world domination. I was basically scared, cus I didn't know what I would do or what problems I would solve, but I wrote my plan down, and some things became clear. I sent it to a friend of mine, whose company specialises in mentoring people who want to start up...I am still working at my day job, and keeping my fingers crossed.
Dutch lessons are fun, its just that the combination of the lessons, and work makes me spend like 10 hours on my feet tuesdays, but wetin man go do? lol, and I am getting the hang of it.
My pastors wife, tried to psyche me into teaching sunday school. When I heard that, my eyes wanted to bulge. Ah, straffe okon in sunday school...er....erm, I had to decline, and instead opted for the technical department. At least I get to be in front of a computer, and at least it's small work for the church. The downside is that I have to wake up an hour earlier on sunday.. *sniff, *sob...it aint my fault, my weekdays are long... I work like 9 hours everyday now (see me as eficco, na 8 I suppose do), and well weekends are the only times I got to chill out, so I guard them jealously. As for Falentines day (yeah, I can spell valentines day well, thanks a lot)..well, it was just there. Had a female friend over, she needed to buy a ticket via a credit card...so we just chilled in my room, got her a chair, but well, I'm in celibacy mode, and she doesn't conform to my specifications, of big big, and ..er....let me not talk, cus e get some big I no fit carry, though I champion the cause of big ladies everywhere. So we just jisted, called another mutual friend of ours here, and just talked, had dinner...as per guest. It would have been nice to be with the madam, but oh well, she no dey here...but it will work out, insha allah.

So, what else...lets see, I can now cook a mean jollof rice...got a nice recipe from a female friend of mine...tis on the fire now...lol... And yeah last week I took another step towards developing another gift of mine, a gift I haven't exercised in ages. Thing is, I'm trying to make my stay here as positive as I can without whining. Life outside you is a reflection of life inside you. If you smile at the world, it smiles back at you, same goes to if you frown at the world.
As per women and relationships, well the one I am in has taught me a whole lot about managing women, being patient, building bridges even if you feel you were the offended one, and a whole lot. I thank God for all the lessons I had to learn and I am still learning. As for mine now, well, I think I have given it the best I can, and the other party also, so we will see. Trying to get her here, and well we believe it will work out for the best.
Whew...see me see typist......
Laterz guys!

2009-01-24T12:57:00.000-08:00

I have been very lazy...but I had quite an eventful week... I had the flu and had to stay home for 2 days, which was probably given to me by my friend who is sleeping in my living room now.... I began my Dutch classes, and yeah things have just been moving slow and steady..
When I was playing around on the internet, I found a very interesting post. Apparently the Nigerian Police force arrested a goat on charges of armed robbery. Ok I know some of you wont believe me, and as such I will post the link. I laughed my head off so much....ok heres the gist...the goat was brought to the cops by members of a vigilante group..apparently they chased two armed robbers who wanted to escape in a mazda. The first dude escaped, the second put his back to the wall, and morphed into a goat a la harry potter style...lol..anyways, enough of that...Here's the link..

On the vigilante issue, there's a scary video which some of my facebook friends keep posting...which sickens me..the video shows the lynching of a suspected armed robber on the streets of Lagos, and for those new to it, the lynching involves putting a rubber tyre round the persons neck, dousing the person with petrol, and setting it all ablaze...I saw this shit once when coming back from university back in naija and it still gives me the creeps thinking about it...someone actually stood through it and videoed it all, and guys are posting it all over facebook...what kind of image are we trying to sell of our nation? Yeah I know our police system is messed up...i.e check out the goat issue, but cmon no one is entitled to judge anyone like that....and those guys burning people would go back to their respective churches and mosques and then wonder why their lives aren't moving...its so sad really. No one deserves to die like that...no matter their crime...let God judge em, after all, the bible does say "Vengeance is mine..I will repay"...anyways God dey.
I managed to find the website which pissed off badderchic...wonder why we in naija love to copy the wrong things....its a naija version of "Gossip girl" and they specialize in publicizing whos sleeping with whom, how many times, where, how, etc, of some so called "Big boys" and "Big girls"...I wonder how or what qualifies them to be called that (big boys and girls)..but seriously, how people want to live their lives is their biz..lets focus on more positive things.
Guys, I am off to bed...cheers!
Oh yeah I found a redeemed church in my area...so thats taken care of the spiritual side!....lol...and the pastor and wife seem to like me...at least we get to speak yoruba to each other..lol...

2009-01-09T10:15:00.000-08:00

Men, how una dey? Thank God its friday...now I am in front of the TV, watching cable, and my Grosch beer beside me...lifes good. Wetin I fit talk? But its cold now, really cold...my colleagues at the office say its not been this cold in 10 years, and that temperatures could go down to -22 degrees celcius...my colleague was like, this is not Nigerian weather, and he has a point....add that to this freaking cold I have been having for ages, my people God dey.
For this cold, theres only one activity to keep me warm and satisfied, and its not gymming, those of you who know the koko will understand, to the rest, use your imagination. "Ahh wavemasta, you naughty eficco," I hear some ladies scream...my people no be my fault.Anyways sha, I am trying runs to organize my woman to come here, so by Jahs grace it will click. I don try o, its bin almost a year we saw last..
See my office oh, this orobo woman, well thank God shes married, she now wore one skirt like this, with tights again, and that thing was going from left to right when she was walking...but I rebuked the devil sha....lol.....even at lunch break today, one larrrge one was behind me...I think thats too big for me to carry (Abeg no tell people say I yarn this for public oo..), shes married too...hope the husband is treating her well sha.....I dislike it when orobo women are married to guys who dont appreciate em....as long as shes healthy, and can move, and is presentable...omo, carry go!
Anyways one of my guys here, major friend went home to propose to his babe, his relationship was like mine...long distance. So to all of you who whine "Long distance relationships don't work"....ntoiiii...lol...and to all u girls who say "You men are all the same"...na lie! Show us you are correct, and can be faithful, and can keep your legs closed, and only accessible to the guy ure with, and then you will reap the benefits...except if the guy na asshole..lol...well back to my friend.. men I envy the guy...we never see yet. but if you see as in voice dey smile...I am meant to go and collect garri from the bagga tomorrow, as well as some naija CD's. I envy my pally, soon he will be married, have companionship, and of course the koko...lol....and it will all be legal....well cmon I know marriage isnt about the koko, but I am sure my sisters, afrobabe and badderchic will tell you that the koko is a very important part of it....in fact, scientific studies have shown that lack of koko has lead to the breakdown of most marriages....if you don't believe me, contact me for the er...'statistics'.
Speaking of naija CD's, I discovered this guy called M.I....men that dude can RAP....damn...I fell in love with his flow in a song by some usher wannabee(though he was also good) called D.I.P.P....I am critical of rap coming out of naija, since ruggedman didnt seem as hot as his first album, and I don't dig naeto C that much, but thats just me...Ikechukwu seems to love screaming to compensate for the empty silences when he cant think of rap....and mode 9 is ok...but men, M.I na correct guy...check out the video called 'dangerous' with D.I.P.P..he rapped at the end anyways.

*Ps: if you do not know what the 'koko' means....you are on a looooong tin....
Am out people!

Looking back on 2009: My year of unspeakable joy.

2009-01-02T12:36:00.000-08:00

I remember entering 2009 with a bang...I was out of the country reaping the fruits of my labor and it was wonderful. I remember feeling empty thinking of the constant state of my relationship, but I also remember it all working out through means I could not fathom. (Disclaimer...I do not always feel empty..lol).
I drew much closer to God in 2009, and I remember facing and finally burying something thats bin haunting me for ages...it was all negative...I remember looking at it and going...whew..
I rose higher at work, I began to take on new projects, and take new responsibilities. I structured my life better, and God thought me how to be happy in all circumstances and situations.
My relationship with my family entered a whole new dimension. They realized I was an adult reaching 30 and basically stopped bugging my life, and allowing me to make my own life.
This year was a year of victory. I was able to spend time and more with my girlfriend, and we bonded on so many levels, and we laid all our issues to rest, and decided to take it to the next level. I finally was able to hear the still small voice in my spirit saying 'This is it son, go for it'.
Also, I was able to add extra streams of income to my job income.....God blessed me financially, and in all areas of my life more than I Could dream off, and for the first time in ages, I could travel and do stuff without worrying about how much it would cost.
I finally was able to learn dutch...hehe...God my throat hurts bad from pronouncing 'G's ' the dutch way. I became an inspiration to many, and began reaching out, giving back to the Nigerian community, and my immediate society.
I remember looking back at this year filled with hope, and optimism for the future...growing more mature....increasing in wisdom and stature...
2009 was a wonderful year for me...my year of unspeakable joy....

To my Dad, the king of kings and lord of lords.
God, I love you so much, as I write this I have tears in my eyes.
You know I always like to form macho anyways.
Thank you God, for when I walked through the fires, you were with me.
You did not allow me to be consumed.
You led me, lord, and kept me.
You protected my sanity. You allowed me to make mistakes and learn.
Learning without any crazy cost i.e my life.
For my job, my life, relationships, I say thank you.
No one can be like you, no God exists like you.
I praise your name, Rose of Sharon, el-shaddai.
I love you for who you are, not for what you can do for me.
If things in my life do not work out, I will praise you.
For I know all things work together for my good.
I love you God...
For allowing me to see 2009, for allowing me to live this long...I praise you.
I have had people die before me lord..but you kept me by your grace.
Not because I was the holiest person in the world.
I will praise you forever, awesome God.
Let my words be an offering to you, and praise to the excellence of thy splendor.
I love you Lord..
Your son..
wavemasta

2009-01-02T12:12:00.000-08:00

My people whats happening, well on my side nothing much. I have been going out sight seeing, and went out today. We got to see the eiffel tower in paris, and it was really wonderful. They will be going on my facebook, cus I am such a geek....lol.
My french friend and I are going clubbing tonight before I leave here tomorrow to go back to that country where people speak from the back of their throats. This party tonight is supposedly free for all girls, and free champagne for girls...but why do the girls need to get all the free stuff?
Back to reality sha, I feel heavy, and empty, me and the madam don rack....we always do that, but I dont know about it this time. Before I entered 2008, I had goals, I had aspirations, and I seem to have achieved them all, but this year, I do not know, I do not feel any goals, and its scary. The goals I want, I do not know if its the right time for them, and all that. As I am typing this, I have this couple,(bf and gf) lying close to me...I envy their relationship and wish em the best....at times I wonder why it seems mine had to be like this...I am not apportioning blame..I have wahala....lol...but anyways God dey. He's been teaching me how to be happy in all situations and all things, and its gonna be fine.
As una fit see, nothing much dey happen for my life....this year is just stretching out in front of me. Maybe I will face one of my fears thats bin haunting me for some time....
Now remember I mentioned the couple in my apartment....the guy dey ask me say he hopes my chick doesnt have low self esteem...cus people would make fun and most big girls wouldn't feel comfy with their bigness. I just told him we all do not have to like thin women, and those guys have issues. He responded that he feels the girls have the issue...well na dem sabi, he was looking through my fone to see a bigger sized picture...saying he wanted to "appreciate".... but well sha, in head don cool down...I love em big, and I am sticking to it. And I like my gfs size and all.
But well theres more to my relationships than that...lol..
Well guys, am just there, nothing exciting has been happening...I will go into myself and see if I can get a vision for 2009....
Laterz!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T05:09:00.000-08:00

Happy new year guys! I wish you all the best.....and thanks for rolling with me throughout last year, it wasn't easy. There were so many ups and downs, but God brought us through it anyways. I was sitting in my bros place for xmas and I just had this desire to still do more...lol...so I booked myself a trip to paris...and here I am...I have been having so much fun, its crazy...seen so many sights...and God came through....I am bunking with a friend and some naija friends, so I didn't have to pay extra for accommodation...lol.... and I crossed over to the new year at the avenue champs elysees...with all the lights and all that....I was just thanking God for allowing me to see things we all just dream about..lol... when I dey read book for naija na so people dey call me eficco..but see moi now...
This is 2009, so many goals man, things to achieve, but I am relaxed and confident in the outcome...and yesss, I am going to see my madam very soon...lol...either she comes to me or I go to her, nice way to begin the new year.
God is really merciful to us humans, he allowed most of us to see this year. So any time you feel low, just meditate on that...
Love you all...

2008-12-29T03:35:00.000-08:00

Yawnnnnn....guys, as I dey type this, I am still in bed....and like my facebook status says... "It feels so good".. Anyways now, merry xmas in arrears to you all, and a happy new year in advance. This might be my last post in 2008...
Men this year was crazy. I entered this year scarred from my battles in 2007 which was a year of facing some deep inner issues I had had for ages, which had basically attracted a lot of nonsense into my life. I am into personal development, and there's something called the law of correspondence which is that "Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world"....and that pretty summed up me.. I stumbled on a book which contained some wisdom in focusing my mind on all what I wanted instead of the things I feared.... I took a lot of risks this year, getting an extra job to pay for my fees and still graduating on time, which most guys said was impossible, flying out to finally lay eyes on my gf...getting the job I am in now, with company accommodation, and the perks...it was crazy...after so many rejections
But then, I wanted to fly like the eagles, and I had to leave that thirty thousand naira a month job in Lagos....when I told someone in church this, he told me that was pure wickedness, for someone to pay that amount....lol... So this and a whole lot more (i.e being separated from my woman) was the price I needed to pay, to be where I am now.
I have become an inspiration to many of the Nigerian students here. They hear my story and look at me, and they know its possible, to graduate against all odds. I had friends and my gf supporting me through the hard times. Times when companies rejected me, saying I wasn't good enough, times when my account was in the Negative. All these made me a stronger man, and I am grateful to God for all the hardship I went through.
I believe God has been showing me how to be happy in the present moment. We think when we get married, get that new job, car, etc, we will be happy, but we have to just learn how to be happy in this present moment. I have experienced this.... I thought getting a first class (which I didn't) would make me happy and earn my folks approval(which it didn't)....I felt a lot of cash would, or getting a different chick all the time...but if your inner world is in turmoil, your outer world will be crappy.
My relationship has issues, we have been seriously racking over so many things. Its mostly due to the distance factor, so when someone says something, the mind is trying to interpret it in a way....so well a lot of misunderstandings...but seriously I am not bothered, because I believe everything is working together for my good. If it doesn't work out...well, I have shown I can stick to one person, except if some extreme shit happens to me (which hasn't happened in ages)...and learnt a lot about myself...and conquered most of my inner issues which will make me a better person for the next chick that comes along...which I pray will be the last...only that I don't want a next chick. In spite of all her wahala, of which I got mine....shes MY wahala causing woman and I like it that way...lol....if it doesn't work out, God knows best and I choose to be happy....and if it does of course I will be happy, when I am not mad.
Ehen, lemme gist u guys. My naija friends and I were coming back from one city here (After hearing some guys speaking yoruba in one station), so we met one dutch guy in the train who deduced we were from either Ghana or Nigeria. When we mentioned nigeria, he said his ex wife was Nigerian, and he lived in edo state (where I was born), and used to drink star beer. We all laughed...he now said "hmm in Nigeria, if someone dies, they leave the body on the street for ages, no one picks it up"...which was true. One of my dads oyibo friends tried to get the naija police to remove a dead body from the road....I will leave what happened to your imagination.
The dutch guy said he chats with a lot of Naija chix online....then he said "After sometime, the girls will start asking ....'Do you have money?'"
That was so freaking embarrassing men...when will some people know that their actions color a lot of innocent guys like us?
Another funny story, at my former redeemed church in delft, my guys were like, "The difference is clear" as in how I look now that I have started work. One of my friends was asking me about my woman, and I said she was in a country far away. He was like..."Hmm, when una jam for Nigeria, in fact, No be small jamming" it was funny, but I didn't want papa God shaking his finger at me...He now went on to say "Abeg make it official in Naija ooo, so you can get proper blessings....hahahaha"...guys and guys....well all of us are mostly in this position, having a fiancee or girlfriend back home, waiting.... I came here without any attachments, but how I met mine is another story..
I remember one 'brother in the lord' who before he went back to naija, vowed he must "score" at least two goals in his wife, before he came back here for post masters. Me, ooo, I no dey read again, abegi.
Men, my level of aggro has increased, and Mrs hand and her 5 daughters, rashidat, bukky, wunmi, efe, and joan, have been tired of my visits. Its become to crazy that I hope the thing doesnt come out of my nose and hurt someone...lol
God dey sha, I go make am...if God be for me.... nothing do me.
I will put up my vision/revelation for 2009.....let the spirit lead me...and don't worry, I will finish straffe okon... I have been toying with the idea of publishing it, but my conscience seems a bit weak...lol

Merry Xmas!

2008-12-25T02:14:00.000-08:00

Hey my peeps... I just wanna wish you all, merry xmas. Lets thank the Lord, its been one heck of a year. Don't know about you, but it has been for me. Anyways that's for my new years posts. So whats up? Got into Delft last night, then went to the redeemed for xmas eve dinner...don't blame me... the moi moi was yuck...but the peppersoup overcompensated for that. My chick used to tell me never to eat moi moi outside, but I just forgot...lol. My pally and I had fun inserting parts of Dbanj's lyrics into Christmas carols. I can remember my friend looking at the length of my samsung earphones, and asking, 'why are your headphones a loong thing?' lmao!
Some strange ish is happening to me.... its like my senses are open and I am seeing attractive babes everywhere...even the ones in hijabs are looking haawwt.... it reminds me of one dude I met during NYSC. The guy was one spiro guy mehn, fashie...so the guy jisted me that according to him, he used to be one baddo...then after he gave his life to Christ, he told God, if he ever panshed outside marriage, that God should strike him dead on the spot. When he told me... I was like ..."Gulp"..I love Jah, but the guy upstairs knows crazy nerd aint gonna make a vow like that....but my guy told me when he made that vow, all sorta hot chicks began crawling out of nowhere....lol.... that's how I feel now. I also remember a preacher telling us he made the same vow...but with a variation....God should make him run mad(beats dropping dead anyways), and even if he gets prayed for...let it not work.
Chei...me no do ooo....lol
So sha, I am at Delft now, at my bros crib,and we had the Christmas present unwrapping, which my lil nephews were looking forward to, and it was fun to watch the expression on their faces when they saw their gifts. One of my lil nephews was so excited, he kept twitching, and tossing and turning in his sleep. My bros and his wife loved their gifts...OK I got em novels, my gf said its cus we are a family of geeks ...lol...but it was her idea to get em stuff for xmas. I got a 24 euro book check to buy books anywhere in Holland....so I will update my "Artermis Fowl" series...
Anyways I get naija party to attend today, and enough rocking.
The person doing the party told me... "In the spirit of you fleeing from temptation, I have refrained from inviting any of your...'kind' to this event..."....those of u who know me know what she meant..
I can unashamedly say this is like my best xmas in this country, and I spoilt myself silly, enough baffs...guys and gals....giving to yourself is awesome and therapeutic...try it one day! LOL!
Merry Xmas everyone....you too baby, love you loads!

2008-12-21T06:58:00.001-08:00

Hey my peeps...how things...men, xmas is around the corner ooo....anyways speaking of xmas, I decided to give myself some presents....psychologists tell u that you gotta treat urself well, after you accomplish something...so looking back on this year, I felt I did deserve some gifts so I went out shopping. I wanted a new phone....the one I had before was horrible, and I had my eye on the iphone...but over here, t-mobile has locked all functions, and I didn't want a phone which didn't have bluetooth or copy paste. My friend disagrees with me, but yeah, no probs...so I got myself for xmas

1. Samsung omnia 8gb

2. The first book in the "Artemis Fowl" series

3. Couple of scarves

Then I shopped for my family, etc...I had settled madams shopping last week, sure she wuld like it.

Anyways, as always I got naughty things on my mind, so I remembered an experience I had in secondary school. I was just getting into puberty, and my love for big big somethings was manifesting, especially with those lovely Ghananian woman selling puffpuffs...but I digress. Anyways I was in the local fellowship, which basically gave me psychological issues for years later, and I also had a "small-boy" crush on the female fellowship leader. Anyways I confided on one of these so called people, and he prompty informed me I was possessed/afflicted by the "Spirit of Jezebel"....or whatever that means....took me years to accept the fact that my high sex drive was healthy if channeled in the right direction.
Anyways the person I confided in now leaked my jist, and apparently the female fellowship leader heard it, when said person used me as an example of how lust was eating into the fellowship...kai, see my life.
When he/they later repeated a class (actually there were 2 of em who I confided in...cmon, my house and family weren't exactly confidante material), I felt it was vengeance from the most high.

Anyways I talked to the fellowship leader when we were in SS3, telling him I had a problem with lust, etc, and I needed help. See my life. Guys, abegi, no laff o. So he takes me to one spiro teacher, who was married to one intergrated science teacher who was hot. Chei....those days I no soji..
Anyways one saturday we go there and the guy begins to start carrying out "deliverance" on me. Casting out demons and shit. Now, I didn't feel anything. Seriously. After reading all the trash labelled as christian literature about demons, I expected lights, flashing, deep voices...but I didn't get anything like that, and time was going and I was getting bored.
So what did this crazy eficco do?
I began to act...check it out:

Teacher: I bind you in Jesus name, get out of him
Other student holding me.
wavemasta: (thinking) ol boi, this thin dey take too long...ok wetin be d name of that mount zion movie about demons...wetin the guy dey yarn..ok, ishawuru from agbara nla
wavemasta: (impersonating): no way, we are from the sea, we arent going lai lai

Teacher: entering into more frenzy: yes, leave him , go etc

wavemasta: Ehn, no way

It went on sha, till It ended...cant remember how....then the guy now said when he first saw me he saw the "contact point" was my eyes or something like that...we sha became friends till I left..and he always had fine honeyz always in his office....now looking back, I wonder why....

Anyways most of my fellowship boiz just sojied (woke up) and became bad bad boiz...lol...the leader above us stole his mums stuff, and there was jist about one of them touching someones breasts during a closed eye session prayer meeting.. well it took me a while to deprogram myself, accept my sexuality, be normal, and have a relationship with a God who knows that I'm very randy but I try (and sometimes fail....lol) to channel it in the right direction.
When I janded after WAEC, nna men I had to deprogram myself, almost made me go mad...lots of confessions with my priest, lots of accepting my sexuality and my issues, and sorting myself out all on my own. When I have my kids, I am gonna be there for them during this period of their lives...I will accept them and not judge them. I will teach them and let them make their own mistakes n learn from em.
Anyways guys, hope you had a good laugh....my days in secondary school. Kai, loving big big somethings, well, I'm hooked and my chick would have apoplexy if she heard me mention second wife...lol
I love myself, my sexuality, and apart from all that, I got my goals, and where I am going in life...ahh my wife go so enjoy...lol
Guys, I love you all....have a good week, I will blog some stuff later on.

2008-12-15T10:38:00.000-08:00

My people wassup? Mehn I am tired, tired and horny...wait first, lemme sexplain...sorry explain..lol. Today was our first day at our new building in a new city. You know I said my company moved and all that. So we got to the place today sha, it was tight, tight place to work, etc..but since it was an open space, I had to be careful wetin I dey look for internet, so all those crazy posts on some Nigerian forums like.. "Is virginity a good thing" were out of the question, and of course afrobabes blog was out of the question, before one stiff dutch man sees one picture and gets me fired..lol.
Men, its like those winches from my village sent them again oo...hmm, as I was in my new office chilling like the good boi that I am, I saw this chick...well she was older, but men, orobo, big,the way I like them, in a miniskirt again, plus leggings, ahh, next thing anaconda just began to stir...men see the binding and casting I use for the tin...readers, why is it that snakes are so hard to tame, ehn?
I sha removed my eyes, u know, this celibacy of a thing, can be hard especially for someone like me, but well I dey tell myself say na for good cause.
Then after lunch I saw her again, bent over, the miniskirt hugging her backside, as she was pushing something..kai, no be something sef me I wan push? lol...and she had specs again, and was looking serious...secretary fantasy anyone? lol
Next thing I went to the coffee machine to get myself some coffee, or was it to use the bathroom, I can't remember...next thing my hot-chick-sense (as opposed to spider sense) went off, I just turned to see one bakassi sticking out of a door...then the bakassi moved, and the owner of the bakassi revealed itself...men it was one of these Moroccan immigrants, fine...and mennnn....na so anaconda begin dey yarn me:

Anaconda: wavemasta, no mess up ooooo, no mess up...
wavemasta: Dude, cmon celibacy..wait sef, how u take wake up
Anaconda: bros leave that thing, just step to the chick tell am salaam aleikum, yarn am some deep koko like dbanj, she go chop am...shebi na foreigner?
wavemasta: oloshi, I bind you..

After this conversation, I went back to "work" sha, then we had lunch, the seats were so soft, it was like making love to my body, this is why I love big women....men I miss my chick ooo... and I love naija women in general, all my big sistas, but I can't marry you all, can I, even if I take enuff blood tonic..madam go do me strong tin...lol.
Ok fastforward to me walking around looking for a secretary ok look this time it was serious...next thing, my senses go off again...what on earth is wrong with this place? Ol boi, the next chick I saw taking some coffee from the machine...men, she could give some naija chicks a run for their money in the ikebe department...while I was still cum-templating, she looks at me and goes.. "Hello"....ahhh anaconda was about to be fully awake....you know I have locked up the snake till his owner is around...but men at times, especially in situations, he begins to stir, waiting for a chink in my Armour...but I AM STRONG! Amen brother!
Ol boi, after that hello, I just went and sat down jejely. Hmm, seems these chicks here might be verrry friendly after all, and language might not be a barrier. After all, "I want you", can be translated into many languages.
But men, seriously, what will I gain...especially in the light of what I really want from a relationship, and from life in general?
But omo those chicks set sha...lol
On how this place affects us, I got a facebook message from a guy living here who told me he was gonna run nuts, he'd been here working for a major company, which if you mention its name some naija chicks would screw you silly, right there and then...and said he hadn't met any Nigerians, and he was just in his own world, and all...and we had a mutual friend, so we talked, connected.He sounded like he was really going to lose it. Anyways he told me he'd go to naija for xmas to see his chick,(lucky bastard), me wey I never come home for over 2 yrs nko..lol, well sha, he'd come see me maybe around new years day...he told me about some dutch dude working in the same company who committed suicide. And he told me "seriously, there's more to life than working for a good company...everything else has to be in balance"...and I totally agree. In naija we believe that once we "make it", by getting the cushy job, etc, then all our problems will be solved....that's not it.
I remember looking at my GPA of a first class, my first year in university back in naija and asking myself "Is this all there is?"
I now have hustled, gotten my MSc, and yeah am working here in a comfy job, but I still feel the emptiness inside...and no its not because I don't have Jesus...its that through no fault of anyone..the bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh isn't here..that special someone I can be vulnerable with....
And no amount of fake sex can erase that, or compensate for that....the loneliness can be killing, the lack of intimacy. Yes even as crazy randy as I am..I know whats up. I take refuge in God and pray and all...but at times you ask yourself.."Is this all there is?"
God knew what he was saying when he said "It's not good for man/woman to be alone".
So I felt my brother, so I understood where he was coming from. You gotta be strong minded to survive here.
I even met one of my naija guys here, the guy dey yarn me say I don dey here for 2 yrs say wetin, say make I go home.. I told him I would go next year anyways.
I know that if I am not single, men no chick go catch me lai lai..lol..but if I am not, men, na God oo, biko... let me not count when last I released anaconda.
Oh, and the "no chick can catch me part?" Abeg, this isn't an invite to tempt me, abeg, joo, sorry ooo, to whoever might decide to take it personally. Hehe.
But it's all good...we go dey rock am dey go...naija no dey carry last.
Overall, work was good, I had fun, nice perks.. now 2moro it's the same thing.Argggh!
Make I go rest.
Laterz guyz!

I will. Yes I will!

2008-12-08T09:12:00.000-08:00

Hey how far...hows it going? Well like I always say, I don't have anything to report...nothing like some other bloggers I know...anyways I am writing this as therapy for me, so well, sorry, no straffe okon, or any juicy things..lol
Work is going on...it's just that the system I have to learn is so large, and everything looks so complicated, and I am a bit scared of not performing well...remembering the reasons my last company didn't renew my contract..but its all good. Xmas is coming and well I don't feel too good about it. I was supposed to see my gf(If I can still call her that) this xmas after 8 months, but well at the last moment, something just messed up the plan...this winter and season that was meant to be joyous for me is just looking dark and dreary and I do not like it one bit. But wetin man go do? I checked out flights and stuff but they are just too damn expensive. I choose to just see it as I gotta work harder to reach my dreams of being a billionaire philanthropist.
Apart from this all, well my relationship seems to be ...rocky.... there was this disagreement which sorta pushed me to breaking point... and it looked like there was no light at the end of the tunnel..I blogged about it sometime back but well I took it down cus it was like my friend said.."looking very much like something"...so I am just going to just chill out.
You know, I am someone who has always battled, always fought to get to where he is today. To top this off, some kin spiritual yawa began to try getting me down...just imagine some thing whispering obscenities into your mind about people you love n shit..but mehn, I didn't reach where I am by being weak, I have fought, and kept on fighting...to just get every part of my life in order.
At times I wonder if the devils and people from my village had a special meeting about me. Maybe they saw my future (Which my former pastor said was impossible), and decided I was just too hot to handle, and so they should gimme special attention...lol
As a guy, society expects a lot from us, and a lot of things have been written about maturity and what it entails, but I found out that we are always growing...there's no point where one can say hes "arrived", and knows it all. As guys we are thought that we are just meant to be hard and bottle shit up inside, and even from our chicks...but well, I guess wisdom is needed to handle all this, and you do not want to offload the devils poison on people, and also, cm on u need to be vulnerable with someone. It's hard being a dude, and expected to be superman and solve everyone's problems and then... see, this is why some guys actually cheat. They have a girlfriend or wife they display this macho side to, and they got someone they go lay their heads on their laps...check out Samson, the strongest dude in the Bible. The guy must have been freaking lonely men, solving everyone's problems, kicking philistine butt...and he just needed someone to accept him for who he is, and that lead him to Delilah..and we all know how that story ended.
Sometimes guys have someone they have to just show male dominance too...i.e sex, etc, and they get their emotional support from someone else...which is why you see some issues in marriages...Some men cannot just reconcile the 2.
So girls and wives...you now have a valuable key in your hand to understand your men. Use it wisely, and send your appreciation to my swiss bank account..lol

I solved that problem or God solved that for me by providing a temporary solution. I had a female friend that I wasn't attracted to (She was thin, thin as a rake :-), L ure my friend oo..lol), and she was older (Not an excuse but the combination was ewww...), and I could talk to her about anything, about my nightmares, and stuff, and not be judged, I felt free to speak to her, cus I didn't send her like a girlfriend. If she went off and said hey..."Dude ure a freaking nutcase"..I wouldn't have cared, because she wasn't my chick...but I felt terrible talking about those things to girls I was actually dating....that's because I was scared man...scared they'd run...scared of showing them my fears, insecurities, etc...insecurities don't fly ...not in naija, not in our world..even guys with insecurities pull others down to make themselves feel good...Don't believe me? Well its true. Everyone's wearing a mask and hurting inside..only God can heal us.
L...thanks for your help God bless you loads, though he already has.

My current or (I don't know the state of) girlfriend was the only gf I had whom I could let inside completely, but men, it got to a time I had to prevent my battles from affecting her.. I always felt that no chick would be able to enter my world because of my issues...spiritual, family, etc...and that's why I restricted myself to flings...yeah I let the devil screw me bad...but well I am out of all this...I cried to God and he helped me. Although at times its hard. My friend once told me she thinks God put me in this position (i.e the wilderness position) because I needed to be in a place alone with just God and myself dealing with me... and yeah I had the madam...and I thought I found someone that I could give my gift to. I always knew I had the gift of loving..women...or rather one woman...for me when I fall in love its consciously.... I have let off the brakes for some wrong peeps before...but this was different. I wonder why I never ran mad, especially when I was studying for my masters, wonder why I didn't commit suicide like my friend did...but God kept me....all those bible verses I crammed just would come out and I'd just keep battling em...and keep smiling.
Anyways I had to stop depending on L so much, and face this on my own...cus I had to take responsibility for the gf..and turning to others when ure in a relationship seems somehow.. So here I am...

The world can be a bitch my friends. You got demons screaming at you, and ure meant to just smile at people...lets try and reach out to one another, you might just save a life.
I wrote this as therapy for me. I do not have any issues with blogging about my issues or fears online, cus well who knows who it might help? There's different sides to me. There's straffe okon :-), and there's so many parts. We all have issues....so someone who's reading this should just be encouraged. No matter how much you feel you are screwed up inside, trust me, someones going through the same. But I am here and still alive, still sane, (I didn't end up in a mental hospital...or dead), I managed to graduate from my masters, get a job...

As I am typing this I still got issues. Jobless demons still trying to mess my mind up, telling me I think this and that....relationship issues...devil telling me "Hey, you are gonna be alone" telling me my insecurities won't go, and that one of the major blocks in my relationship won't be removed.... and maybe I might end up lost in Europe, and I will never be the man I was meant to be...or maybe someone better than myself will always get my chick or future chick. I am also trying to sort out this family issue of mine...cus even though I am on my own and stuff....this whole family-dictate-your-life thing has gone on too far enough. I have a harder time breaking free cus all my older siblings are used to this, and they use the "Honor your mum and dad" verse for it all...imagine what that would do to the self esteem of a soji man like myself in the 21st century..yup...emasculation.
My relationship seems like something you just put plaster on, treat the wound, another one comes up again...thing is the love is so strong, I never experienced something like this b4...which is why it got me that we might not see this xmas...but men, I wonder...I have asked God....whats the way 4ward? People say "love is not enough"...but where did we get that idea from? Love made God send his son to die for us.... Love is...everything....read the bible...first Corinthians...
Loving a chick can be hard hard work...especially the way God wants u to.

Yup! I got issues....but you know what? Jah dey... God dey. I look at my "achievements" for my age, and yeah I try small. Still got a long way to go, but I still try sha.
We all have issues, but if I am still here and fighting, then who the hell are you to give up?
Nothing do me men, I am more than a conqueror through Christ who loved me...
If you're from another religion... God is still your strength and he will sort you out... As for me... I am determined to win in this life. Make the cash, get the girl, touch lives, in no particular order.
And you know what?
I will.
Oh yes I will.
See you at the top..hurry up though..I might be so big I might end up taking your spot..lol.
Ciao!

2008-12-06T15:17:00.000-08:00

My people wassup, hows it going? Enuff gist dey...ok lemme start. I moved into my new crib today. The company got us a sweet crib, modern furnishing looks like something out of IKEA, pimped up kitchen n living room...and us 3 engineers get to bunk in there...sorry, 3 crazy guys...lol..me, my italian friend alberto, and reza from indonesia. The house needs some changes though... I need a door...lol...some heating, and rezas key is stuck..we also need internet...lol.
I got my friend felix (raw food dude) to come stay over...hes snoring right now..I always told him his snoring sounded like a generator. You know those ones in naija wey go dey sound as if the diesel is adulterated? Yup, na so my guy snore dey sound...and of course I snore, but mine sounds like a quiet hum...the one u get from a silenced generator..lol.
Well sha, enuff things have been happening, and enough challenges, but you know what? I am getting better and better, and God is leading me through my own unique training programme, and its cool. I have had issues with madam and coping with stuff here, but I am sure its going to be ok. I edited this post... I had seriously vented, but make I cool down dey watch...
Ciao guyz....sorry oo...nothing interesting has been happening, I havent dressed up like a chick or gotten laid yet..lol

2008-12-03T14:33:00.000-08:00

Mehn, my people its not been easy, we thank God anyways. Nuthin much has been happening, just me settling into work...I swear the hard part is getting up every morning, and biking to work...arghh! And its snowing again, OMG....when I get to work I need coffee to shock my system back into shape. But I thank God, I cannot complain.
Speaking of the cold, that's just one of the challenges I face here....another is the loneliness and lack of intimacy.... u know am in a long distance relationship, bin ages I saw my gf, and I swear its crazy.....I miss the companionship u know...just having someone lying beside you, you could talk to...not just about sex, although speaking of that, I wonder if I haven't lost my skills, or I can still do some positions...see, its my blog, I can say whatever I want....lol
Someone from my past (a female) predicted I wasn't gonna be able to stay for 2 yrs without getting laid...while she wasn't totally incorrect, shed be surprised to see me now. I guess its true what people say...when you meet "The one" it's just different I guess..... I actually am here, and keeping to myself, u know being selective with any female contact here, just cus, well, what I got is worth it, and I am working to keep it. Although mehn, it can be crazy.....man was so so not made to be alone, walahi, God knew what he did when he made woman for man.
It's reached the stage my best friend tells me my need to get laid reflects in my voice...kai, make I catch you foolish boi..lol..
Well, to compensate, thank (Insert name of deity here) for Mrs hand and her 5 daughters...guys guys, don't criticize me....dudes gotta do what a dudes gotta do, and Mrs hand always comes in "handy".
But men, at times I ask myself, Ol boi, are u sure u can still do...etc etc...
But the loneliness and all is crazy...one of my friends is so scared that if his relationship with his naija babe doesn't work out, he will just go and carry one akata.. I keep telling him to cool down, but I feel where he is coming from.
Anyways I go see madam this xmas insha allah, companionship men, e no good make u dey think things make devil dey try do u bad things in ur mind.
Amazing how lots of Nigerians back home think once you are in Europe or abroad that automatically the key to heaven has been handed to you. Man, you pay a steep price, let me tell you, nothing good comes easy. At least back home you get to come back to your loved one.
I was even advised by a friend to consider having a fling as long as it was "harmless"....if to say I was someone who couldn't think for themselves maybe I might have bought that...me I said, well, I can't hurt someone I made a commitment too, and he said the same abt his chick...and he promised her not to touch another chick...but well lets leave that.... but yeah there's that temptation, and I know some guys in relationships back home who would take that offer. I am not better than anyone or holier (Hell no!)..but I have realized...after sex is over, and you look at the person beside you, and realize you guys don't have anything...ure just like "Damn....why didn't I just wank?" Trust me....its happened to me so when I say that if you have something precious with someone, don't throw it away..I knw what I am saying.
I had a serious talk with jah today....went kinda like this ok not exactly, but u get the picture.

wavemasta: Jah, how far, see we need to talk

God: yeah I know, see u no dey fear dey call me jah..see your head...

wavemasta: Sorry sorry daddy but you know I love you....lol

God: So whats up?

wavemasta: God, thanks for everything, for blessing me, for...

God: Dude, cut to the chase, ure grateful, ok,I get it.. now whats the koko?

wavemasta: God, I'm lonely, I'm horny, and am being faithful....which is whats expected of me anyways

God: Correct, u dey represent.

wavemasta: But see, we need to sort out somethings and if you know you don't want me doing things, well, make it work out so we get married o...and yeah let this chick and I work out.

God: Trust me, its all working out for your good...

wavemasta: amen

God: Can I go now? Hehe, just kidding....

Well una get the full picture.
I need to sleep. Gotta get up 2moro, hit the office.
Ciao dudes and dudettes!

Agent Straffe Okon-6

2008-11-16T03:35:00.000-08:00

I have decided not to wait for inspiration, but to dive in and write this. I know I get a lot of visitors on my blog. Please dont be lazy...make a comment..and not just on straffe okon, you pervs ...lol.. at least gimme feedback and let me know I am not wasting my time. So, back by popular demand..

AGENT STRAFFE OKON 6

DISCLAIMER: Yes, tantric sex works, but don't do it except you know what you are doing, and I don't accept any responsibility for any of my readers actions.

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED..

Straffe had had many adventures with many women in his short lifespan. So many that his aged mother would have a heart attack, if she found out. He was a mild mannered spectacle wearing individual who most girls never expected anything from...but beneath that quiet exterior lurked one of the sharpest minds in the world, and an agent of the covert Nigerian organization...the CABAL...dedicated to bringing down those who would cause terror to the fledgling Nigerian democracy.
The mysterious disappearances of different call girls in Lagos, had been traced to the enigmatic figure, the China man, and when Straffe was getting too close, they had dispatched Li Chang..their top assassin, to take care of Okon. But the assailants had not factored in Straffes attraction for big beautiful women, of which Li Chang was one....and right now, Straffe was trying to prevent himself from getting assasinated...
Li Chang had challenged him to a sex duel....if he won, he got to live, if he lost, he was dead....
Straffe fought to retain control, as Li Changs pussy muscles were contracting round his member, like a boa constrictor, squeezing its prey...he varied his rhythm and thrust inside her...harder....trying to relax....the assassin had put her big legs on Straffes shoulders, and that coupled with her vaginal contraction techniques, would have made an ordinary man cum in less than a minute...but Straffe like we mentioned earlier, wasn't an ordinary average person. Li Chang was getting a bit impressed....3 minutes had gone by. In this studies of ancient methods of Sex, Okon had come across scrolls teaching about tantric sex, and about how higher levels of sex, involved merging of essences of both parties involved...and he decided to give it a try... he relaxed, visualizing the sexual energies spreading throughout his body
and merging with that of the woman beneath him.....he heard her gasp...and he pushed deeper...merging his essence with hers....and then pulled....Li Began moaning, and thrashing against him....wanting the void in her essence to be filled.....Straffe pushed again.....and felt her body respond..
He began with circular thrusts touching the front wall of her pussy...and then he looked into her eyes, and a flash of revelation hit him. Her desire for approval, her being under appreciated because of the way she looked, and her hatred of men in general had led her on the assassins path..making her determined to use the men who had used her, and not cared about her feelings. Okon, stopped his frenzied thrusting, and slowed down, using his lips and tongue, tracing outlines over her body..speaking slowly into her ear.. "I understand what you have been through, and even though you hardly know me, I do care about you"..he whispered these words into her ears, as he began nibbling her earlobe. Li Chang began to moan, feeling her inner defenses crack, her nipples so hard...and she guided okons head to her chest as he began to suck those 40+ DD or whatever size breasts..he really didn't care about bra sizes at this point, as long as they were big, and he was in their centre.
He used his tongue to trace a line to her belly, and then buried his head in the muskiness of her womanhood, and began to drink of her nectar...he felt her body convulse, and she began to moan, and thrash around on the bed...he removed his tongue from her womanhood, and began loving her body inch by inch, her thighs, her calves, her toes, Li Chang was in heaven, she had never experienced this before, all she had encountered were men willing to take, but now, she met someone willing to give instead....the ache in her womanhood became unbearable, and she reached for okons turgid member, and once again put it inside her...Once again, Okon, closed his eyes, and imagined his essence spreading round his body, delaying his orgasm, and visualized it like a spear...then he launched his essence into hers....he felt her defenses crack, and she became open and vulnerable....he then began to thrust inside her, harder and deeper, telling her to trust him....and then for the first time in her life, Li Chang felt a tingling sensation moving all over her body..leading her to the brink of pleasure.....Okon pulled his essence back, leaving her shaking and helpless, and then plunged into her again....he kept doing this till she was almost incoherent, "Okon, please, I love you, you make me feel like a woman, please, complete me, make me yours", she screamed....
"You are mine..." Okon said..thrusting inside her..."you belong to me"..."Yesss, yess, I do, please Okon...ahhh" Okon began increasing the tempo of his thrusting, faster, harder, with Li Chang moaning, and groaning, "God, Okon, I do not know this feeling, Its coming, Oh, God" ..."Let it happen" Okon grunted has he thrust harder....Li Chang exploded..her climax making her vaginal muscles contract so hard, Okons member was almost forced out, the climax kept building, and all she could feel was she wanted his seed inside her...as if he read her mind Straffe said, "Im about to come baby, to come inside you....to show you how much I care", with those words, Li Felt another orgasm engulf her, just after the first, dragging on so long...as she felt Okon release his seed inside her....
Okon came out of it all hearing banging at his door..."Mr Okon, everthing dey ok?" It was Harunas replacement...."Nothing dey happen" he shouted back. He looked down at Li chang....her body was still twitching, she was breathing heavily, covered with a heavy sheen of sweat, and traces of his and her fluids running down her legs. She was broken, and finally vulnerable. As an after thought, Okon looked at the clock...2 hours.."Na wa o" he thought..."What I do for my country. If Ibrahim doesn't increase my salary, I'm going to become a pastor." He imagined God shaking his head at him and saying, "Okon, Okon....hmmm", and he shook the picture out of his mind...and he noticed he didn't use protection.. "Chei, see fuck up" he thought..well since he wasn't thinking straight and he just had sex under duress (yeah right), it wasn't his fault...but HIV tests were a real bitch...
He tapped Li Chang, and she opened her eyes, staring at him in wonder..."I guess I get to live" Okon said. "Now tell me everything about who sent you to kill me".
She hesitantly began to tell him about the Chinaman, and how a group of rich expatriates in Nigeria had been using young call girls as part of an experiment to ensure unending aging, and how the serum code named "Black Magic" had already been tested, and was still undergoing modifications... Straffe listened with his mouth open...this was like ritual killings, minus a toothless medicine man/woman of course....
He had to report back to HQ as soon as possible...but meanwhile, he reached for his medicine cabinet for blood capsules and vitamins...he needed his strength back..

2008-11-14T15:54:00.000-08:00

Hey, well this is where I get to talk about whats been happening. Well I have started my new job, which is cool. I am doing some normal engineering services work before I actually begin building any software. The company tried a lot for me anyways, they put me in a hotel for sometime, thats where I live now, and rented me a bike...yeah a bike..na so we dey do am for holland o..and the company is 15 mins bike ride from here...and yeah I planned a whole lot of trainings with my manager. The weathers so cold its annoying, makes me long for an orobo to hold...lol....
These guys in my office, are kinda trying to imply that I gotta learn dutch by force..we had done some training, and my Italian friend wasn't around, and we were like the only 2 international pple in the company..and he had gone out for the day..so I am sitting in the middle of all these guys speaking dutch, and then one of em asks me out of the blue "Hows your dutch?" Well I just yarned that hey, I was learning it at my own pace, and the person was advising me to go watch sesame street in dutch..na wa o anyways.
We had a meeting today, and we had to introduce myself, and I did part of my introduction in my rudimentary dutch, to at least give a good impression, cus these people can silently shut you out and still be polite...in fact my manager has put dutch classes as number one on my training schedule..lol.. madam advises me to take it a bit easy so I dont look like a kiss ass, and I do get her point.
I got my people to pay for internet access at my hotel in exchange for dinner allowance...I mean, what on earth will I be doing without internet? When I was in naija, I was blind, now I see....lol....anyways doin that was madams Idea, and like her ideas it clicked. They just told me today that they were gonna pay for a month, instead of me just buying cards, so that its cheaper, and yup, yours truly is jacked into cyberspace...lol. I am still lookin for a place though..
Men, ur guy is just there, anacondas just sleeping, waiting for the "chosen one" to wake him up, so that he can release his "powers" and born plenty pickin...lol..
Well I'm keepin it real with the girlfriend, and I have destroyed my orobometer, so I could almost pass a lovely plump lady, and anaconda head no go raise.
On the madam issue, well sha, we've tried, and come a long way....although sometimes the spirits of past issues come back and try to haunt yours truly, and try to get me down...and then I get into this thing of wanting to try to unravel it all and make sense of it, and it tries pulling me down sometimes I think its karma trying to bitch back at me..but sha, I focus on God...thing is that, Its my destiny to make it, no matter... I always come out on top, thats my belief.

I have bin downloading movies, and series and ish like crazy, and trying to make the best of it all.... I got this scottish dude in my office, which a very delightful scottish accent, and brit sense of humor, so at times I am not sure whether hes stroking me or being serious. These people for my office never organize computer for me ooo...kai, guys, I feel anaconda stirring, I have to make sure he doesn't wake up, especially since his handler aint around..
Laterz guys.

2008-11-01T13:20:00.000-07:00

Hey, well after a long time, I am updating... so lets see whats been happening, well I was basically chilling at my bros place waiting for my job resumption date, and for my work permit to fall through...so I basically had this cycle....

wake up--->eat--->facebook--->lunch--->facebook/movies--->dinner---->sleep

Crazy ish, I know.... anyways sha I left Delft, where I lived for 2 years doing my MSc, and I have moved to another city to start work ..which is next week. My boss informed me I was start training soon, so I'm hitting the ground running. They put me in a hotel, where I am gonna live for a month plus, before we shift to a new city, and then they will organize something for me. Their meals here are so expensive, I am trying to bobo my company to pay for the rest of my meals, and my internet access, since of course they are the ones who chose to put me here ;-)

Well, sha, I know God will give me the wisdom to carry out my new job. Sorry, I do not have hot gist about chicks like some do...over here I'm a good boi, and my madam would break my head anyways. Oh yeah, I eat suya for the first time in 3 years at this naija club in Amsterdam, dancing "gongo aso" with some of my friends...well I guess I had to rock, its bein ages I had fun.

I got an email from mumcy advising me to stay away from "easy" Dutch women...lolz..one of my friends was like, maybe I should target "hard" dutch women...hahahaha. I am not targeting anyone anyways, before madam does strong thing.

Anyways whatever, no gist...just updates...laterz.

Graduation Ceremony

2008-10-03T11:51:00.001-07:00

Today was cool, officially signifying the end of my MSc study. Yup, I got my MSc certificate today...
The way it works is that you are called out on the stage, and then your professor reads a speech about you, and how well you did or did not do, etc. Today's ceremony was in Dutch, but they spoke English when it came to the turn of international students.
When it came to my turn, my legs were shaky, I couldn't believe that 2 years of a gruelling MSc program was over. Gosh, then my prof couldn't make it, but he wrote a speech which was read by a prof who knew me personally from my articles in the school magazine. Then he read my profs speech about me, about how awesome I was...etc...ok, he said I was one of the most focused and determined students he'd ever coached because I asked him from the onset what I needed to do to get a high grade, and did the work all by myself, something that 6 of his Phd students were working on...well sha, I thank God I finished....when I wanted to sign for the certificate, my bodi just dey shake, the woman at the signing table had to tell me to take it easy and calm down.
Anyways, later on, was shayo, and we took pictures with a Prof who lived in Katsina for 2 years, working for...get this...the ministry of works and housing, as an electrical engineer. This guy was blasting Hausa well,even yarning "Alhamdulilahi" ...well sha, it was a cool day, and yeah I put the pics on spybook (Facebook for people who have no sense of humor) :-)
Everyone's just been commenting on my status, and pics, its crazy...lol.
Well, I thank God for the journey so far...two of my other colleagues made it at the last moment, so I Wasn't alone, thank God.. For this graduation, only 2 of us naija men, made it out on time, at least no one can now misyarn, and say they didn't know some Nigerians who knew what they were all about.
We really need to revamp our educational system in Nigeria, cus I compared the two systems, and the mindsets of our students, and we need a whole lot of improvement.
Good thing is now, according to my kpali, I am now legally authorized by dutch law to call myself Engineer.... over here we use the "Ir" title...ahhh life is good...
I called the madam, psyched her well for all her love and support over the past 2 years, she begin dey cry...baby I know you will want to kill me after reading this...lol..
Now I have one months forced holiday before I begin my new job... *groan..

Agent S. Okon-5

2008-09-29T06:40:00.000-07:00

Reader Discretion is Advised

She knelt down before him, waiting. Her sharp eyes trying to penetrate the darkness. She could only barely make out the silhouette of the person called the chinaman....
"We have a problem Li Chang"...the voice grated. Li felt shivers running down her spine, and felt her pussy begin to become wet, as she remembered that voice whispering dirty things into her ears....
"A Nigerian secret agent has been asking too many questions.." the chinaman said. "Project black magic is getting too close for any screw ups..I want you to take care of him" the chinaman said. Li rose, and took the dossier the chinaman handed over to her. "Here, you will find everything needed to accomplish your mission" he said.
She was breathing heavily now, breasts heaving, and her mouth parted... "Will there be any further orders sir?" she asked..."yes" the chinaman said. "Suck me". Li fell on her knees, and without any further encouragement, unzipped the chinaman, and took his erect member in her mouth, flicking her tongue over his scrotum.
"You exist only to bring me pleasure. You are my slave." said the chinaman. Li began to moan softly, as she felt herself being raised to her feet, and then his hands began exploring her large body...his hands stopped when they reached her pussy, which was so wet.... "Li chang...are you worthy enough for you to receive the gift of my manhood?" "yessss" she moaned....the chinaman caressed one of her large breasts, and began massaging her clit, through her trousers... he began increasing the pace, faster, until Li changs body shook as she came, hard....
"To prove you are worthy of receiving the gift of my manhood, fufill this misson" said the chinaman, as he walked away without any trace of an erection, leaving her gasping. She had to kill this Nigerian, and prove herself worthy..very few women were selected for the chinamans pleasure, and she was not going to miss this opportunity.

Some hours later she found herself in front of Straffe Okons house...the information in the dossier provided by the chinaman's intelligence was indeed correct. It was a simple matter to pick the lock and let herself in. She strode through his house, and ended up in his bedroom.. the fool had left his personal computer on. It could provide vital information before she killed him anyways. She noticed he had downloaded some files from the net. She clicked on one, only to begin to hear moans..the file was a movie file, showing a large woman with enormous breasts being taken doggy style. The male actor fucking her was big and built, and kept thrusting harder inside her...Li began to feel horny...the dossier did not mention that Straffe Okon liked big women...the thought of that made her extra excited, and she began touching her clit....after all, she was going to kill him anyways, no harm done..

Straffe let himself in, dead tired. He had been trying to trace any large Asian or chinese women in lagos all day, to no avail. Anyways, he felt tired, and went up to his room for a nap...as he pushed the door to his bedroom open, he felt a whiff of some exotic perfume which he could not place...he walked into his room only to be greeted with the sight of a large chinese goddess lying naked on his bed. She looked like she had been sculpted by michaelangelo, or any famous italian sculptor...her skin was flawless, her eyes mercilless and seductive, right down to her thick shapely legs, and large thighs....her large breasts heaved up and down with every breath she took. Her arms were muscular, and the calf of her right leg had a dragon tatoo..
Straffe wondered whether he had taken drugs or something, because this was some shit out of his wildest fantasies. He tried to be rational and logical, but unfortunately, or fortunately, his dick had already betrayed him, because it was fully erect. And she used dark toe nail polish...
"Chineke!" Straffe thought, "my own don finish o!" All of a sudden, the goddess spoke. "You are straffe okon, a secret agent of the CABAL"..."er....yeah" straffe said, mumbling like a 15 year old whose mum just caught him jerking off to porn.
She got of the bed, and walked towards him, clad in nothing but high heels, and she reached behind her, and brought out a gun which she pointed at him.
Straffes erection went down faster than you could shout "NEPA". "Ï see you lost your erection" Li chang said..."Thats not good...for you that is." "You have interfered with the wrong people, and I should kill you..but I have a proposition that might save your life" she said.
"I have had a large sexual appetite, and I have learnt many ancient techniques, including controlling the yin/yang sex energies of my body...so no man has been able to stay up to 5 minutes with me in bed" she said. Now straffe understood that kind of language. "If you can last up to 5 minutes with me in bed, and satisfy me, then you walk....if you don't, you die." said Li Chang. "I am doing this because I can see that you like big women, don't you?" she asked.
Straffe nodded dumbly...he had to literally fuck because his life depended on it.
He called on his half calabar/half yoruba ancestors to grant him stamina...and haruna the mallam had gone back to kano...he always had some burantashi ready for such emergencies...
"There's no way you can last against me, Okon, but still lets see"..Li Chang said, as she walked up to him slowly, and began to caress his cock....

TO BE CONTINUED.

2008-09-29T06:30:00.001-07:00

Its been a nice quiet season, I have had time to recuperate from my 2 year battle for MSC in this land. This land where smoking normal cigarettes is against the law, but smoking pure weed is legalized, and no, I am not joking.
Well, I sorted out most of my issues, I am collecting my kpali on Friday.
Oh, and the son of man got a job finally, multinational Japanese engineering company, so I will be writing software for them. Place is cool, has wicked benefits, like woah! I'm now searching for an apartment. I plan on pimping the place up, and making it toosh...I need to enjoy mehn, I don suffer finish.
I also am planning on flying out to check the madam for xmas, nuthing do me sha.
I've had time to reflect, to sharpen my saw, get in touch with my inner self, and all that. Gods been good, I can't deny. Only 3 of us actually are getting our certificates this year, from my department. If Jah didn't see me through, men, I dunno where I would be.
Church was cool on Sunday, although seeing some female body parts bouncing up and down during praise and worship kinda distracted me a bit...but God and I are still cool.
My love life's still there, had a bit of an argument, and we are both in too deep for any of us to call it quits without feeling the scars. So sha we just trying to patch things up best as we can cus we do have something people just dream about...
Well, I have nothing better to do, so lemme see if I can think up something for S.Okon....lol

2008-09-15T12:18:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't be blogging now...but well, tis a way of dropping my thoughts. Since I graduated, I have basically been job hunting, and chilling at home, babysitting my nephews. I got some offers, now, its just picking the right one.
I have turned to a lot of things..created straffe okon....I don't know if the series is ok, or I shld discontinue... and just waiting to get to work.
Spent today sorting out issues, playing husband, trying to sort out some stuff madam was experiencing...all from behind my computer....mehn, oyibos dey try ooo...I can run things from x miles away...
Has this ever happened to you before...when there was a time in your life you settled for less than you could have been? When you lived below your talent, and you werent a man...or afraid to assert yourself, all in the name of being "nice" and "understanding"....and you were afraid to be labelled as "jealous, controlling, " and all in all...you were afraid to have BALLS. Thats right my friend...BALLS.
That was me ages ago, before my awakening, before I discovered the king locked inside me...before I discovered my zanpaktou (soul sword) .....
Even some days back, as I struggled with some mind battles, I felt I was gonna go down...and I would never move forward, and past mistakes would pull me back...till its like I heard Gods voice in my ear telling me ..."You have NO excuse, for not being the man I called you to be."

I learnt to be strong, to be assertive, to have my own opinion, to stand up for what I believed in...to command respect...and be true to myself....to define what I can stand for, and what I cannot stand for....esp in relationships....
Now, it seems, I am being presented with a test.....somethings come up that I have vowed not to stand for, even at the risk of giving up my idea of happiness.
Will the wavemasta of now, have the BALLS to make a decision, and stick by it....or what......will I have what it takes to walk away from something I care about...even though an issue that violates my code looms on the horizon? Will God show another way, or am I gonna hit the highway once again? If I do, it will be a pity...but hey, life goes on....Interesting....
Anyways guys, if you do want me to continue with straffe okon....leave me a message on the last episode....
Laterz!

Straffe Okon 4

2008-09-14T05:39:00.000-07:00

WARNING....READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED...

Straffe took a deep breath and wondered what this world was coming to. Not "coming" as in "cumming", but you know, coming in the right sense. His pastor might have said it was a sign of the end times but....straffe killed the guilty feeling, remembering his escapade with the big assed female choir leader, and brought his thoughts to reality.
He examined the dead body in front of him. Witnesses said they had heard a shout at night, and the sound of broken glass, and they had found his body near a cheap hotel at Ikoyi...with a nice bullet hole in his head...
Straffe allowed the forensic guys from the CABAL to carry the body to their secret lab for testing. They had already bribed all the MOPOL (Mobile Police) guys, so there wouldnt be any issues about jurisdiction....who cared about such anyways? All a guy wanted in this country called Nigeria was to get laid...sorry paid.
He went into the hotel, and checked the room where the body was thrown out off. The guys had swept the room clean, but he didnt want to take any chances..
He had just finished checking the bathroom, when he saw it...a hairpin, small and ornate. He picked it up, and examined it...it had chinese markings. So either our dead guy was gay, and was with another dude with a chinese hairpin, or he was straight, and was with a chinese woman. Being the naija man that he was, straffe opted for the latter theory.
Asking around was proving abortive because not many people were willing to talk, till he bribed one of the hotel cleaners. "Yes sir, ahh dat man na greedy man, na only im wan carry dat kin tin". "Which kin tin?" Straffe asked?
"Ahh sir, the woman get body ooo, if you see the ikebe and the front...kai...and she big well well"....Straffe was getting horny for some strange reason....anyways, he gave the hotel cleaner some cash....the CABAL gave field agents "bribe allowance" which some of them diverted into their private accounts of course...but our hero was an honest guy.
He got into his beat up car, and drove back to the head office....and was so intent on driving that he didnt notice he ran past a red light, and all of a sudden, he was being asked to park.
"Shit!" he thought. "Oga, wey your particulars" the officer asked...on closer inspection, straffe saw the officer was a woman, big, and burly, with a large chip on her shoulder. By straffes deduction, he was sure her husband (If she had one) hadnt touched her in ages.
"Officer, see, how we go take do am?" he asked....."Oga you go follow me go station, except you drop 20k". "20k ke?" he said in disbelief...by this time the woman had opened the door on the passenger side, and gotten inside, planting her huge behind on the seats, which by now were groaning in protest.
"I no get money for here..e dey my house" he said calmly. "Ehn, dey drive"...the officer instructed. Straffe took his car onto the main road, swearing under his breath, but he began to notice that his erection had reached full strenght...and the officer had noticed it also. "Why your prick dey rise? ur girlfriend dey for house" the officer leered at him. "Wetin your eye dey find there...abi u dey fear the thing?" he asked. He took a short cut and within some time was at his apartment.
He let himself in and offered the woman a seat, and went into his room, came back and gave her the cash.

"Oga, na only this 20k you dey give me?" she asked...."Wetin you wan make I give you?" he asked "you suppose put extra, as you be oga"....by this time, straffes erection had reached full level....he walked up to the woman, and pulled her to him, his tongue invading the depths of her mouth...she responded hungrily...straffe began fondling her breasts through the uniform..he freed a nipple and began flicking it with his tongue..."Ahhhh" the woman moaned.....straffe undid her uniform, exposing her big breasts and began sucking them, while caressing her huge ass, he led her into his room, which was fully air conditioned, and began ravaging her body...he removed her skirt, and her panties, and began to caress her between her legs...."yeee, yee" the female officer groaned....she undid his belt and brought out his member, and took him in her mouth....she began caressing his balls, as he thrust in and out of her mouth...she was too wet by this time...she pushed straffe on the bed, and then straffe slapped on a condom, before she guided his erect pole into her...."ahhh" she moaned...and she began riding straffe furiously...it was so long since a man had touched her...since her last boyfriend left her for a skinnier woman, straffe held onto her big breasts, watching her ride him..he reached behind, and held on to her large ass, as he thrust inside her...soon, he flipped her onto her back, and she spread her big thighs for him....straffe entered her with full force...slamming into her...she began to moan..."ahh ye! ye, do mi, do mi, dont kill me...." she was in 7th heaven as she wrapped her thighs around straffe.....as he thrust into her..he felt the buildup of semen in his loins...he then made her stand up, and bend over....she obliged....straffe could see how the opening to her love hole glistened with their juices...he held his member and eased into her....and began to thrust deeply into her...harder, faster....holding her breasts....the woman was delirious with pleasure...this man was good...better than anyone she had been with...and she felt a warm feeling in her loins...and then she screamed as she reached her climax....straffe kept pounding her large ass, making her scream, till he shot his load deep inside her.....

Gosh....he thought...I need to stop doing all this.... he turned around to see the woman with a large smile on her face.... "Oga, you sabi fuck well ooo" she giggled..
Straffe felt himself getting a hard on again.... well he still had time before he reported to headquarters, and besides, he had to make this police officer chick pay for messing up his schedule.... he reached for her again...

Somewhere somehow, Li Chang stepped on the accelerator of her vehicle...the car roared, and she threw back her head and laughed... the look on the foolish mans face when he saw her gun was so funny...it was even more funny when she put a bullet in his head and tossed him out of the window.... she really hated guys who bragged about their sexual prowess, and couldnt deliver...it really pissed her off, and Li Chang did not like to be pissed off....
Her phone beeped...an sms from the chinaman... although she knew him by a more intimate name... something had come up...she had to see him urgently...seemed there was some trouble...

TO BE CONTINUED..

Graduated!

2008-09-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

Eyin peeps mi......finally, after two years living in this land, I have managed by the grace of God, to finally get my MSc.....I defended my project last Monday. I wished I would have gotten a distinction, but well sha, we give God the glory..now I got foreign MSc...and I finished the program on time, and within the bounds of my scholarship....anyways yeah yeah I know everyone now wants to read about the adventures of straffe okon, but there's more to me than that...I am a geek you know...lolz...now its to receive the job, cus I do need more cash now...but God, thanks for setting me free from here. The journey's been tough, tis been hard, but you kept me, and I didn't run mad.
I never imagined, when I was going through hell last year, and parts of this year, that I would be writing this blog today..
Thank you lord.
Eyin pple, pray for me ooo, son of man needs job ASAP. Since I've graduated, I wanna thank my fans, and my mummy, my daddy, and my dog.... and seriously my madam....for been a rock and support....lolz....kai, I still dey hear, I no kolo....God dey ooo...lol

Okay, straffe will return next week in another instalment...just got a call from a fan..he complained this weeks episode was too short...lol

Straffe Okon-3

2008-09-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

Straffe sat across the table from Mr Ibrahim, in the secret headquarters of the CABAL. For once, Ibrahim had stopped watching porn, and both of them were intently watching the security camera tape from the Blue Lion hotel. Straffe watched the chinaman speaking to a pretty girl at the party and whisper in her ear...she giggled and they both left. "So its obvious that the chinaman does pick up women, but what does he do with them?" straffe asked. Straffes member stirred, and he had to speak to it, to cool down. "So, we know where he stays?" straffe inquired... Ibrahim answered "Well, somewhere in Lekki, but we need to crosscheck. One of our guys is disguised as an okada rider and he is going to acquire all the details you need". Straffes member began to grumble....the tent in his trousers the result of the grumbling....straffe sighed....

.....Her name was Li Chang, and she was like 6'2 in height, and big. Big in every ramification. Her insatiable sexual appetite, and her natural ferocity and skill in the martial arts made her the prime candidate for head of the chinamans security. Right now, she was busy. Quite busy. Extremely Busy in fact. She looked up at the man between her huge thighs, humping away like there was no tomorrow. She was disappointed...he was supposed to be from some tribe in Nigeria called the calabar and who had the reputation for being beasts in bed....all she got was this mans endless pumping. And to think he actually bragged about how good he was....Li decided to teach him a lesson. She flexed her pussy muscles around his dick making the man groan in delight...then she began flexing in a rhythm, the man began matching her thrust for thrust...then Li employed her taoist training...combining her inner yin and yang energies and sending the stream towards her pussy...the surge of energy made the man begin to shout...then Li began moving her vagina muscles ..starting the counter movement which had unmanned many men before him, moving her large hips against his...the look on the mans face changed to bewilderment, as he struggled to keep rhythm with her, but could not..slowly he felt his control slip away, as her thrusting pussy muscles pushed his member out of her, while he came at the same time. The man looked away, embarrassed, not knowing what to say. Li looked at her watch....3 mins...what a loser.....She'd yet to meet a man who could have lasted above 5 minutes, after facing her technique....never mind...now she could kill this weak fool.....

In a hidden lab, somewhere, a naked old Caucasian man eyed the incubator suspiciously. A potential investor in Nigeria, he was also about to test the prototype for Dr Guttenbergs research, the extraction of the chemicals purported to give black men, particularly Nigerians, their drive, their sexual power, and their boldness. "Don't worry sir, it's quite safe..." the chinaman said. The old man stepped into the incubator, and a technician took a few vials of a clear dark fluid, and put them in side containers in the incubator. At a nod from the chinaman, he pushed a red button on the console. The old man shouted, as the needles pierced his skin, and as the chemical worked its way round his body, then the shouts faded away...the technician watched as the door of the incubator opened, and the (former) old man stepped out...the wrinkles were all gone...he felt alive vibrant, and young, and he felt a stirring in his loins that he had not felt in 50 years, even with all the viagra treatments...he looked down to see his member, hard, long, and pulsating...and for the first time in years, he threw back his head, and laughed...

The chinaman smiled...project code name "Black Magic" was working just as expected..

Agent Straffe Okon-2

2008-08-13T05:47:00.000-07:00

I am personally loving this character...I could write this today due to the fact I stayed at home to reflect...so here goes..and I might not continue unless I get good feedback! Here goes!

WARNING: READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Parked across the street in his beat up mercerdes, straffe eyed the imposing structure of the blue lion hotel. Owned by a wealthy Lebanese man, the blue lion hotel served as a meeting point for expatriates in Nigeria. Which meant one thing...a whole lot of cash was been exchanged around there...which meant loads of call girls wanting a piece of the action.
Straffe walked into the hotel excluding confidence...the concierge saluted and let him in. He walked slowly looking around...women of all sizes and shapes hanging on to expats.... Straffe waved a hand and the waiter appeared. No one noticed straffe secretly giving the waiter a blue card alongside the money for the drinks. The waiters eyes widened..and his opinion of straffe went up a notch.
"This blue card is an invitation to a high class orgy" his contact had explained days earlier. "This is highly secret and top notch. I had to call in a few favors to get it". When straffe had inquired as to how he could return the favor, his contact had requested for the phone number of a very big beautiful calabar girlfriend of his. "The things I do for my country", straffe thought, as he reluctantly handed the phone number over.
Across the room, straffe noticed a man with Asian features...and from his movements, straffe could tell he was dangerous. The man moved with the grace of a dancer, muscles moving like an oiled snake.."hope Im not turning gay...." straffe thought. He summoned the waiter over, and inquired who the man was.
"No one knows sir. People just call him the chinaman" the waiter replied.
Straffe sipped his drink and amused himself by admiring the various kinds of women in the room. Since there werent any big chicks, straffe wasnt in the mood for anything..
He felt movement at his elbow, and looked up to see the waiter. "Come with me sir" the waiter whispered. He followed the waiter out of a room and into an elevator. The waiter opened a panel in the elevator and pressed a button.
"Normally people think the elevator stops at the ground floor", the waiter explained. "but in reality, this goes underground once the right button is pressed".
The elevator doors opened, and straffe found himself face to face with a giant. The dude must have been like 6 foot tall..when okon showed him the blue card, the bouncer stepped aside, and opened the doors.
The room was dimly lit, with blue lights, and soft, sensual music. When straffe entered, a bikini clad woman came to him, and took his coat, and led him to a sofa.
"Someone will be here to take your order shortly" she said, as she sauntered away.
Straffe wondered how to begin asking questions about the missing call girl, but he decided to let things happen naturally.
Another lady walked up to where he sat, and asked "so sir....whats your pleasure?"
Straffe whispered into the ladys ear, and she smiled..."come with me sir" she said.
She led okon into another room, and made him wait. In 20 minutes the door opened, and he was face to face with 5 big beautiful women....big breasted beauties...straffe felt the familiar ache in his loins...."I am madam Fatima" the woman in front announced..."I am the madam in charge of here, and when I heard ur request, I decided to personally take care of it".
Straffe eyed her up and down...madam Fatima was about 6 feet tall, big legs, thick thighs, and an enormous backside...her breasts were like 48F, and were straining to escape from her shirt... "I want to ask you a question" he said. Madam Fatima eyed him appraisingly..."Na only if you fit perform na in we go fit discuss anything".
Straffe sent the other girls away and stood up..by this time , his member was about to tear his trousers...madam Fatima began caressing his balls through his jeans...okon said a silent prayer not to come too soon, as he had spent a fortune on laundry....she unzipped his pants, and took him in her mouth, sinking to her knees, making hums of approval as she sucked his cock.

He was so turned on, looking at the view of her big ass...."I-want-to-ask-a-question" he panted....Madam Fatima stopped long enough to lick his scrotum...."We go see" she replied. He began caressing her breasts through the shirt, and she let out a moan...straffe began massaging her belly and began talking dirty into her ear.. "u this woman, I go straffe you tire with my okon" ..Madam Fatima began panting more heavily "yeh, yeh, ahhh"..straffe put his hands between her legs and felt her wetness. He removed her underwear slowly, pulling it off. He bent her over and began biting her ass....Madam Fatima was in ecstacy....she felt his wet tongue licking her, and all she could think off was how this stranger was different...she wanted to f**k him immediately she saw him, since he radiated such masculine force..
Madam Fatima went down on all fours giving him a view of her p**y, so wet, and dripping...straffe freed his member and slipped on the condom, and slammed into her...."Ahhhh!" Madam Fatima shouted...straffe began pounding into her hard and fast, locating the sensitive spots in her vagina... Madam Fatima began thrusting back into him "Damn it" straffe thought..."I love this job" he began slamming into her harder..."you like it, ehn, you this ashewo" he panted..."yeh, yeh, harder, harder" madam Fatima gasped....when her first orgasm hit her, it racked the whole of her body, she began screaming....then just when she thought her orgasm was about to end...okon pulled her hair and rotated his member inside her almost touching her cervix..."AHHHHH! You wan kill me....yeee, olorun," she shouted as she came again....straffe turned her over and began thrusting inside her in missionary position, madam fatima was in a trance, bucking her hips against his, and then he began feeling the familiar ache in his loins before coming inside her....as he came, he could faintly hear madam fatimas screams as she reached her third orgasm...
Madam fatima lay on the bed, half dazed....still naked, straffe took out a picture from his trousers and showed it to her. "You sabi this woman?" he asked.
Madam Fatima stretched out her hand to touch his member, but okon slapped it away...this was now business. Playtimes over woman...get to work.
She reluctantly took the picture and looked at it. "Ehen, this na helen. The last time wey I see am na for one chinese man hand" she said.
She then proceeded to describe the man which began to sound very much like the man called "The chinaman"...."So wetin happen?" he asked? "Well, I know say she dey go service the man well well, since na her customer, but she just disappear..." she replied...
As straffe put on his jeans Madam Fatima said "Han han, u no even make we do again. Oya tell me your name now", she asked with a coy smile on her face.
"The name is Okon. Straffe Okon" he said, as he walked out of the door. Time to pay a visit to the chinaman..he made a mental note to watch some Jet Li movies...seems some kung-fu was gonna come in handy...

To Be continued...

Agent Straffe Okon -1

2008-08-11T11:52:00.000-07:00

I always said I was gonna write a story, so this is my mini series, about a Nigerian Secret Agent...you will love the guy...trust me I dont dissappoint.

WARNING: READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

The Beginning

His name was straffe and he was doing exactly what his name said....straffing. Straffe wasnt your normal average Nigerian. First of all, he was one unique individual, possessing an I.Q of over the normal...secondly, he worked for the CABAL...a Nigerian secret agency..dedicated to doing....er....we dont know exactly.
And third, he liked big big women.
The woman underneath him groaned with passion, wrapping her huge thighs around him as he thrust harder..she began matching him thrust for thrust, and then her screaming orgasm racked the air..followed by his grunt, as he came.
Straffe walked into the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror..the face that stared back at him was gaunt, innocent looking. No one would ever guess about how he he was recruited by the CABAL while in university, after solving some obscure puzzle in the newspapers, then being informed that he was going to be trained for missions serving the Nigerian government....yeah right...
His phone buzzed....it was a secure number.. "Okon!" a deep voice over the line rumbled....straffe winced...why on earth did his name have to sound like that of a porn star....."Sir" he replied. "Somethings come up, report to the office now."
Straffe dressed up...."are you leaving" the woman asked, coming to caress his chest wearing nothing except a towel....straffe had to sternly speak to his member so as not to become erect....he had business to take care off.

Hours later, he sat facing the head of the CABAL Seun Ibrahim, who at that moment was watching porn. "Sir...you said u wanted to see me"? Straffe wondered what kind of secret agency this was... "Okon, wait, this camera angle is the bomb"...Straffe silently prayed to God, and silently counted to 10.
"Ok straffe this is it. Lots of women have been dissapearing, particular call girls", okon said. Straffe held his breath..."I want you to find out how and why. The last call girl who dissapeared was from the Blue Lion Hotel, start from there."

Straffe walked out of Ibrahims office, and he noticed bose the cleaner...shed always had a big behind, and it was big...straffe went behind and pinched it. "Ahh oga okon, stop am ooo" she said. Straffe winked at her..."make we see now, haba, I get something for u for my office".
He walked to his office, she behind him, as they entered the room, he fell on her, squeazing her 44DD breasts, she immediately began to respond "yeee, oga okon, yeee"..he tore of her wrapper, and felt the wetness between her legs. He inserted his finger, and began massaging her g-spot. "yeee oga okon, u wan kill me"...Okon turned her around, and bent her over the table, so her big ass was pointing in the air..He thrust into her savagely, and began pounding her doggy style....bose began to moan and moan, Luckily, this was a secret agency, and it was soundproof. He flipped bose onto her back and pounded her savagely..."Ahh, ahh, oga okon, yeee, dis your bulala too big, yeeee"....his climax shook his body savagely, as he came inside her hard.
Now, he felt refreshed, and ready to investigate...

SOMEWHERE..

The girl groaned..but that was the only sound she could make, her mouth muffled by the cotton wool gag. Across the room, the man watched her silently, his eyes silently monitoring the instruments. The only other sounds were the hum of the machines, and the tubes connected to the womans body..
"Nigerians"..he thought disgustedly, just after the money, especially the women....worse than trash. If only these black savages knew about the secret chemical produced in their bloodstream which made them sexually powerful, and also gave extended life...but they didn't know. With the right amount of money, most of their women would do anything....
This breakthrough was brought about by Dr. Von Guttenberg, and since then, a powerful set of international businessmen was secretly financing his research, businessmen with powerful interests in Nigeria.
He looked at the monitor again....the chemical balance was a little bit off...he turned the knob up a bit higher....the woman across the room began to shriek, before lapsing into silence.
"Shes dead sir"..the lab technician reported, after a hurried survey of the girls body. "Dispose of her body", the man retorted...he would get another one soon...call girls were the cheapest...he felt the familiar stirrings in his loins...it was going to be a long night...he was being paid for results, and results, he would deliver.

To be Continued

2008-08-10T09:36:00.000-07:00

My people...I have just finished working on my Thesis presentation. In 8 days from now, things will finish.I will defend my project, and then this phase of my life is going to be over, and dedicated to the ways of pimpin :-)
Still job hunting, but things will be ok. I went to church for the first time since easter....yes I knw I'm bad...for send off...yes yes I know...the pastor enter me small sha, talk say I just dey come and go...lol, then we got to dance gospel fuji afterwards...AHHHHHHH jo jo....mehn I miss lagos, and the razz boi inside me....lol...
Ive been getting close to Jah, and hes told me hes gonna surprise me..I have given him all issues to work on, and waiting for his guidance..
Mehn, I'm thinking of writing a story...got some ideas, but I will keep u posted...
One love guys..
Anaconda still dey sha.

Birthday

2008-07-29T13:41:00.000-07:00

I turned 27 yesterday. I looked at myself, and was surprised. Once again, God did it for me. It was 10 years ago when a scared disturbed teenager was walking the streets of London convinced no woman would ever love him. Wondering where his life was leading to. He craved love at that age, but it wasn't given. What was given was a lot of abuse, and put downs from people who were supposed to be close to him. He constantly craved approval, wanting to know what he was good at.
10 years since he decided he was going to make it, and be free one day. Making that vow even with a non existent self esteem.
Now I look back and I smile. Back then I wanted to be loved and important, and to feel manly. On my birthday, one of my main friends here, and some others, spent their cash on me, and threw me a birthday party. Pictures are on facebook, but not on my profile :-). My guys realli took care of me, and I had loadsa fun.
Madam called me first thing after midnight...I love this woman, she knows me, understands my weaknesses, and strengths, its awesome. If someone had told me 10 years ago, that one day I would be with the woman of my dreams, I would have shaken my head.
Now, all thats left is for God to take it to the level where I will be producing my offspring. And she was scared that I would be alone for my birthday, but I wasn't.
I did not feel alone, and I had fun. What happened the next day, i.e today, is another story.
Some people close to me are not in this world, and did not live to see their next birthdays. So I am grateful to him.
Thanks to all my guys, including pimp daddy for organizing this. Thanks to madam for her love and support...I always pray that God and his son Jesus Christ give me the grace to love u the way u deserve to be loved.
Ok, enuff of all this mushy stuff....lets enter anaconda levels.
Today I was walking and saw this big big big something....and anaconda said...
"see foolish guys wanting to read abt anaconda!" hahahahaha.
As for my Job hunt, I believe God, and that he will give me the best for me.
Its well.
Love u all.

Wavemasta is out...27 and counting...Ol boi, I don old ooo...lol

Moved out

2008-07-20T15:44:00.000-07:00

Moved out of the "spaceboxes". Housing accommodation provided by the school authorities for international students. Better than unilag standards fine, but as expensive as hell, and a rip off. Place looked like Alcatraz. Or more like a Psych ward, on account of the white walls.
The school guys are kicking us out, we had till the end of the month to vacate the premises. To go where? It's none of their business. They got new international students coming in, and they have once again hiked up the prices...so you can all see why I had to do an extra job. I took madams advice, and moved in with my bro, he's in naija now, so I got the crib to myself. And no, I am not gonna throw a house party.
I'm as tired as hell.
Took madams advice again, invited my naija boiz for a night at my place. Lots of shayo, meat, etc. I got some champagne given to my by my former boss on Friday, to congratulate me on being one of four guys who would graduate on time from the Computer Engineering MSc. It was nice, I invited felix, and we all shayoed and gisted....then I got kwok to come over, and help me move.
I have been moving all my stuff, but now I am tired, got another interview 2moro, and lets see. I still have to go back and clean out my former room, else, I don't get my deposit back.
These guys just mooched off international students like anything, and the dutch students pay less...and they say they want to promote integration, and "internationalization"...all this big big grammar....I shake my head.
I want to officially announce that I have been able to seal my anaconda, at least for the time being...no more spooky blue lights.

And yes I joined a group on facebook, called "Lil wayne is the worst rapper ever". And I seriously agree. Theres this nice video showing how he stole other peoples lines...and theres this picture of him kissing Birdman, I mean....WTF?
What kinda song is "Lollipop"..ok fine, it's catchy and all that, but he-llooo?
One of my guys just came back from naija, and I got all the latest naija jamz on my pc....alaba boiz aint got nuthing on me....lol..
Still on the lollipop thing, my naija boiz don remix am, theres a Nigerian version of lollipop...don't believe me? Check it out...

Well, I just gotta clean up my thesis, and then get ready for defense and all of that..
Laterz y'all!

2008-07-16T14:31:00.000-07:00

This is my blog.
I can say whatever it is I want, how I want, and if you like it, you can click the little "x" button on the top right side of the screen and leave.
This is the deal. As I am writing this, I have a headache, and I am damn damn horny. Horny as hell.
I've had it with here. I have to find a place to stay in soon, luckily madam forced me to take my brothers help. I will stay there for a bit, till I get my own place..They are off to Nigeria for vacation, and I am just imagining the amount of big big things walking the streets in tight fitting.....

DAMN.

Its my anaconda....its raising its head. Glowing with a blue eerie light. Its been in a state of unrest for a long time. I feel the thirst overtaking me...
I love the person I'm with and I believe in being with one person and staying true to that person. Afam's right...I need bala.
I can see why people say that for a woman its all about the emotions, and touch, and for a guy, it's about release, and until he gets that release, his mind will only be focused on satisfying his thirst.

I have a headache because I have been chasing down bugs in my program, and having to deal with stuck up PHD students telling me "It's my problem". You created the damn device driver you geek, I want to fucking graduate, not stay here. Oh wait...I saw my supervisor today, and we selected my defense jury, and set a date..august next year...shit...sorry, next month (joke).

I'm fed up with arguing with the woman I'm in love with. I think I will just shut the heck up, even if I am annoyed. Anger doesn't work for me, and turns me into something else. You get into a raging fight, and then 10 mins later, ure back apologizing cus u cannot imagine life without this person.

Then in my moments, the evil one resurrects ghosts Ive laid to rest, and tries to torment my mind, and screw up my relationship. I prize relationships above most things cus you can have all the money in the world, and all the success, but if you do not have someone beside you, to share with in the name of love, then I got news for you. Your success aint worth crap.

So yeah I have hung on to this one forever cus I think shes the one.
And yest, I resisted the urge to drown all the raging emotions in a large bottle of wine coming back from my interview. I drink, but I will be damned before I turn into an alcoholic :-).

I sneezed, and the white stuff that came out was looking suspiciously like cum. Its just a matter of time before the thing begins coming out of my nose, ears and mouth.
Damn...I had the misfortune of being born with a conscience.....well its a fortune, I guess. Damn thots running through my mind, of big big things, market women back home, with large fronts and behinds, chicks of all big sizes (not all sizes, fool...no thin ones allowed!), calabar chicks, ondo, benue....damn damn damn, this is not good for me.

Anacondas threatening to "cum-sume" me. Sometimes I feel it stirring, like a slumbering dragon, waiting for the right moments, when the ancient seals will be broken, and evil will be released on every woman who weighs over 70kg. Skinny is definitely for punks. I was at the supermarket last weekend..(now why must it always be a supermarket?), this woman walked in front of me...had the biggest backside, I'd seen in ages...it literally shot out...or in the words of one of my friends here....appeared out of no where. Wearing a skirt. Then one dude who knew her, used that as an excuse to touch her there...cept if I don't remember correctly...
Men, trying to tie down the damn snake proved to be a herculean task. There were times the thing was leading me to go take a second look, till I showed it who was boss.
Alakoba Ejo oshi, foolish snake.

Yeah, whatever, I need to get a life...so do you, else you wouldn't be reading my blog.

E go better, let me go shower, or use the hand techniques....I am graduating with a distinction, God pass them all. Yes, I am going to be faithful and not cheat and screw up...*sigh....

What if?

2008-07-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

This is about different "what ifs?" Things that scare us...as for me, these are just deep musings of mine.
Put an imaginary "what if" before any line.

What if.....

when we die, we simply find out that all we felt about religion wasn't true?

We meet God and he tells us that..."ol boi, that no sex before marriage thing" was simply a clause put there by political psychophants? :-)(I know say I go come back earth, break someones head)

The pessimists are right and dreams do not come true?

Theres nothing like true love, and being with the one you care about?

When we leave this world, we simply become fertilizer?

A certain man who might change the future of the worlds most powerful nation, doesn't become president?

No matter how many times we pray and fast, things do not get better in our country Nigeria?

Every risk I have taken, or every decision I have made has been the wrong one?

Those gold circle condoms you used when doing the human wheelbarrow weren't safe? And "Ed the virus" is lurking somewhere inside?

My concept of Christianity and God as a friend is just an excuse for me because I cannot live my life like a deeper life member? And follow those incessant do's and don'ts..

I see God and he tells me that based on the above I was just deceiving myself, and I get kaputed?

Theres no hell? ever thought of that?

The person I'm in love with isn't the one for me, and I've simply been blind, and ignoring the signs?

I am actually destined to hook up with a thin (lepa) woman (olorun maje ) (God forbid!!)

My weaknesses never end, and change never occurs?

I never forgive and let go of past hurts and pains, and I end up miserable and alone?

Nigeria suddenly changes and becomes a world black power driven by research and development?

I achieve my dreams and become an IT billionaire and own my own private jet (Even though madam doesn't want one), and I get to have dinner with bill gates?

I actually do achieve my dreams and make my mark in the world?

I marry the woman of my dreams and overcome any obstacles in the way?

I overcome all the weaknesses in me?

I meet God, and he tells me I was on the right track,and he lead me on my own path?

I decide to do PhD instead of getting a job, and its a mistake, and I get caught up in a cycle that I never want to do again?

The world as we see it, isn't the way it is, and we actually can get along with each other and exist in peace and harmony?

We can all learn to love and accept each other, irrespective of age, tribe, race, religion, nationality?

We discover that all the barriers that we think exist, are simply those imposed by ourselves and society? And that they really don't matter?

I am actually the baddest software engineer alive, but I just don't realize it?

I will read this a year or some months from now, lying on a beach or in an exotic hotel some part of the world, holding madam in one hand, a tequila in the other, and laughing at myself a year ago?

I actually am just a dreamer, and I should stop deceiving myself and face the "reality" as some people would see it?

I am actually on the right path, and right now, I am standing in my acres of diamonds, as concerns the country I am in, my relationship with the madam, my job, etc?

So many what if's, where do we go, what do we choose, whats the next step?

God help us all.

Baraje II (Warning---long post!)

2008-07-06T04:29:00.000-07:00

After a hectic week, I decided to go out again this weekend. My boys and I planned a party fiesta.Clubbing Friday and Saturday nights back to back. I took the next week off from work, since I had finished the final project with them, and I needed one week to just focus on my master thesis project. So, after resting from work on Friday, we took a train to one of the major cities here, to go clubbing. I had high expectations of the place, till we got there and the bouncers said they didn't know us and it wasn't going to happen tonight.Even though I tried being polite, and explained we were students and all that, they still wouldn't budge. It was so bad, my friends and I fell into a passionate debate about whether they bounced us because we were black. My other friend did not want to take that point of view, but my other one did. Anyways, we tried another club, called "Asta", and we got the same treatment, this time by some black bouncer telling us tonight was supposed to be just "Hard house" music, and so we couldn't get in.

One of my friends had to ask the bouncer what was going on and after explaining that it was the..."three black guys coming to the club together"..phenomenon, we generally got the gist. We went across to another club down the road called "Cocoon", but after paying the entrance fee, we found out the place simply sucked.The music was gay, and there was this dude whom I could swear was gay also. We just decided to forfeit our money and leave. We decided to take the train to another town. One of my friends has vowed to treat any oyibo he sees in naija like crap...he does have a point because some of them come to our country and act like we should kiss their asses, but thats another story.
After dropping at Rotterdam, we met one of my Indonesian friends who was telling us that Hollywood had a special program about Asians. So we tagged along, and lo and behold we got in.
Hollywood represented as always, but the Asians there didn't utilize the gbedu enough, and some of them did not have game. Scenario: theres a girl in front of you winding and stuff, and you just happen to be behind her. Now what would you do? Or..what would "Wizzy"(Lil Wayne) do? answer....grab the damn thing..but did he...nope..see what I mean by lack of game?
I didn't grab, since the madam and I had another argument, of which I am just tired of the whole thing, and I didn't want it to be as if I was looking for solace in another chicks body or something. There was an orobo dancing well though and hitching up her skirts, and she seemed to be looking at me. I wasn't going to go chasing and all that,anyways. She came up beside me and ordered a drink..I attempted a feeble "Hi", but she no respond, I wasn't in the mood anyways. Even Anaconda sef..the guy just dey in hibernate mode.

When we were leaving, we now saw chick fight, a brutal chick fight. Like 3 or more girls attacking just one other girl..and the thing is that the chick they were beating up was someone who would have taken any of them one on one. Their ring leader was one small girl who I am sure could not have been more than 15. Pouncing on the chick, pulling her hair and pulling her to the ground, and some were kicking the chick again.
My friend and I wanted to just leave, to avoid police wahala, and personally I've seen what happens when you attempt drinking panadol for another persons headache, but my other pally being bigger decided to intervene, and we went as back up. Even another guy whom we thought was the chicks boyfriend, was trying to separate them it didn't work. Even the bouncers were acting like botis, in the face of this rack.
There was a policeman, but he had called for back up. Anyways the cops came and took em away, and we were able to leave. The chick they were brushing had blood coming out of her nose, and even when people would try to separate them, the ring leader would still wait, spot an opening, drag the chick down, then the rest of the gang would brush her.
We were like 80% sure this was a fight over a guy. Imagine, at that tender age...na wa oo.

Anyways the next day was Saturday, and I had slept in. I did my laundry, and went to get my groceries, and thats when I saw ..."her". I wasn't sure it was her, so I just went up and did as if I wanted to buy some croissants, and yup, it was Jane. I met her at one church function..was looking to test my lyrics, and make a new friend, and madam and I had split up that time. I hollaed at the chick a few times, thought we'd hang out and ish, but she never replied my offlines, or returned my calls, so I left the runs. I also knew deep inside me I still loved my madam, so I knew all this parole was just an exercise in self deception.

Fastforward to yesterday, and I'm standing in front of her in the supermarket, madam and I had another fight...(AGAIN....arghhhh), and this chick is looking fine...nice hairstyle, nice African wear, and shes like 5'5, with the right body configurations, caramel skin, and looking sweet. So, I just talk, enter psyche mode..."Ohh you haven't returned my calls", etc, etc anyways I invited her for a night out with us, but she had a paper to write, so she said she would be free next week. Called her phone, told her I'd like to see her again (Yeah right), blah blah. Anyways when I told my friend the gist, and mentioned that, men, I still feel what I feel for the madam in spite of her acting up, he was like...well, he can take over the "job" of handling Jane and all that....this is what going to a geek school can do to your hormones...lol. It's like "This na temptation" like P-Squared would sing, but well, it will probably be just a friend thing. I want to be able to sleep at night, and I'm still in love, dammit!

Later at Night, we saw the movie "21" and let me just say that if you haven't seen it yet, then I definitely recommend that you go see that movie. It was one of those movies that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling after you watch it. And its about a gifted genius who wants to get into Harvard medical school, but cannot raise the tuition fee. And his professor (Kevin Spacey), recruits him to join his team of card counters, who basically beat the las Vegas gambling system and make loads of cash in the process. It's about a guy who started out straight, made some unwise choices, learned from his mistakes, and still came out tops..its a 5/5 movie for me, go watch it.

From there we went to the African disco, and we had to kill time because the DJ was late (African Timing as always), there weren't any chicks like last week, and I wasn't going to grab anything. Omo, it sucks having a conscience innit?
Anyways guyz...thats my gist for the weekend..baraje..now I need to go time my application, and get results at least. Speaking of which I have the whole of next week off to focus on my thesis, and I have a couple of interviews, and tomorrow is our farewell ceremony for those of us international MSc students who entered in 2006. Jeez, time does fly, doesn't it?
Love you all.

Baraje

2008-07-01T03:40:00.000-07:00

Its Friday night, and I am exhausted. I'm referring to last week Friday of course. I had been under a lot of pressure, trying to implement one foolish algorithm for my thesis, but for some reason it didn't work. My friend afam says its lack of bala. I beg to differ.
I didn't go to work that day. Apart from the fact that I'm sorta fed up with the place, I
had to chase my supervisor to fill out my "release" forms. So there was one form he had to fill in committee members for my thesis defense. I just managed to catch him just as he had entered...n he was obviously in a hurry.

wavemasta: Hey prof, please sign these for me.

prof: ok ok (signs hurriedly)

wavemasta: Sir, please fill in the names of my thesis committee members

prof: Thinking

prof: Ahhh Fuck!, cm on I have to talk to people, I cant do this right now, am already late.

Well, na so I carry my self comot....u see say prof fit use f-word anyhow.

Back to my crib men, my brain was still in hibernate, diff companies just dey reject son of man..so I had the idea to go out Friday, but my guy cudnt make it.
Saturday came, my brain kicked in, I was able to apply the algorithm, still was feeling lazy, then I got a call from madam. Shed bin trying to get me to go out for sometime, when I told her I was staying indoors again, she vexed. She asked me to ask one of my friends, but the guy too spiro, or so I felt. So I hooked up with one of my indian friends and a spanish guy, both in first year, and we went out to shayo.
I had already told one of my naija boiz here...I call him the vampire by the way, and its nuthin to do with the fact that hes ibo.
After shayoing with boiz, we entered a nice club with plenty of gbedu...vampire calls me and tells me hes in the area with another vampire friend of his...lets call him slick...hes also Ibo, based in the uk. So I find vampire and slick and we head to the African club in my area.
I stopped going there last year cus I didnt see any point.
You cant meet chicks, and then most of them like to form, and you definitely wont get laid. Not that thats what Im after, but well, thats how the scene is.
Tonight we got there, paid their exorbitant fee to a 5 foot 6 chick with large breasts (Well, they are large!) and then at the bar I meet G...whos from the republic of congo. Yes, congo is so nice, and we men just loveeee congo dont we? Especially when we get to shine...lol
So me, vampire and slick go in, order some beers and sit down. On the dance floor, I see two young chicks. Maybe 18, 19 , winding and grinding. These women do not conform to the International Robolicious (IRO) Organization Standards i.e they arent big like I like em, but they have moves anyways. Next thing, slick declares hes gonna rock em, even if they are with their boyfriends...
I relax and shayo, after all, theyre still playing makossa. Next thing I see slick yarning one of the guys who came with the two girls. Oh, theres a white chick there also...shes rubbing herself over one of em...shes got moves too...
I gist around with G and talk about how stressed up I Was and all....
Vampire enters the dance floor, I notice him dancing with one chick in white...the chicks twisting and all...shes there with a friend, the friend doesnt conform to IRO standands....I sip my beer...
Next thing, my orobometer goes off...I place my beer down and look up to see this amazon...tall, big, and big...dressed simply, not indecently...I sigh, cus am out of the game, and I dont wanna grab things....last time I did that, my anaconda had a wound on it for real...but tis a story for another day. I decide to get on the dance floor. The music takes over me and I begin to jam...I love to dance, I like to think I'm good. I might never be in a dance crew, but I like to rock, and its fun. I dont care about whether or not any woman dances with me, I just want to have fun. The djs hitting us with the latest jams....p-square, 2 face, etc..I notice this chick in green...she also doesn't conform...WTF is wrong with this place anyways? Shes not bad looking, shes winding and coming close to me....anaconda begins to stir...I shut the foolish snake down, the chick dances very close to me...seems she wants to...I'm like why not..so we dance, and am having fun...next thing she turns around..
Day-im....now am faced with the question......As Shakespeare would put it .."To grab or not to grab, that is the question"...as a gentle man, I don't like to grab as in grab...but in cases of dances from behind, theres a kinda way to go around it...I put a hand on her waist, and sorta angle my body away, so that foolish snake doesn't raise his head...she reacts, draws away, dances with another chick....oh well, nothing lost...
Slick is yarning some babe in the corner....I'd like to dance with those two chicks...one of em looked like she'd be checking me out for sometime, but dunno wasn't just in the mood, and I dislike small chicks who form.
I go back and rest, G says I'm a good dancer esp when it comes to hip-hop, but I should learn some more African dances...vampire wants to yarn the chick in white...he wants me to distract her friend..I do so...the chicks smile...they knw wassup...so am dancing with this chick, shes good...then the music changes to hip hop, she turns around, and grinds into me...

ANACONDA:-Yup! I heard my name!
me: shit shit shit

ANACONDA: just go low low, thats right...
me: I correct myself, adjust my body so the foolish snake has no contact....I dance ...

Seems vampire didnt score with the chick in white..he goes over to those young ones, they give him the "look"..u know that look that fake-ass chicks, esp in my former university give....vampire goes away....seems the chick saw that on his forehead.
The night goes like that, I'm tired an exhausted...anaconda spots an orobo dancing and wants to go over...I give him serious warning...anyways some dude is giving her close marking.
Its around 5.30, slick has gotten a chicks phone number, we leave.
We discuss chicks, and all sorts till slicks fone rings.
He switches to one pho-ne accent...its the chick he met at the club...he psyches the chick that he feels honored that shes calling him and he wants to commit suicide because of that..I roll my eyes..then he delivers the killer line....he tells the chick that when she left the club, he felt like there was "no air" like jordin sparks, and cudnt breathe..
Men, my hardened naija chicks no go fall for these yarns...lol
I ride my bike home, give the key back to its owner and crash....
I woke up feeling like a million dollars.....all the stress went off..
Madam advises me to to this more often. I'm not sure what she means by "This"..grab bakassi, or go clubbing......lol.....well this weekend is another time...
Laterz!

from the valley to the mountain..

2008-06-22T10:29:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me that at times we need to get to rock bottom, before we finally get to rise and rise. I used to read sayings like that, and used to think that they were simply cliches, until I began to experience them myself. The more I write abt this, the more I realize that what I saw, or the hardship I thought I saw while in my undergraduate dayz in Nigeria is nothing compared to what Ive seen here.
My thesis for example has been one challenging job after another. Combine it with Phd students who look at you like you are foolish when asking questions, and throw in the fact that if you ask too many questions, it can be used against you on your final grading, and you might just get an idea. For the past 3 days men, I hit rock bottom, my motivation was zero, totally zero, I would wake up and try to crank my brain, but my brain was on strike.
Add my job search thing, a fight with the madam, a foolish article I read online, and ....man, I no go die for here. I have had to pray and pray like never before, that God shld just give me the strength to carry on, and push on.
Example. after a week of working with a Phd student, and him rejecting my code over four times because I wasnt giving him a memory access formula, I now asked him how I was gonna run my application. His reply was like.."which application?" In my mind I was like WTF? What other app have we been working on?
And he went on to say that if it was the application we have been working on, I need some special kinda platform(I am being non technical so non geeks can read this), and I cannot use his platform, so I must find one by myself, and he doesn't know how I will do so. Omo, when I read this at work, I just chilled till closing time, ran home, I didn't even waste time, I ran str8 to my faculty, begin look for the equipment. Most of all the geeks there dey hold the thing as if say na Gold....chei, some pple really need to get laid, no, seriously.. I no go to work the next day, shebi my company guys talk say dem no go renew my contract, and I don finish the work wey dem send me.
Anyways, I got the equipment the next day, but then, I just sunk into despair, my strength, gone, it wasn't funny. Sleep eluded me, and I was sleeping at weird hours, waking up at weird hours...Everyone in here is carrying their cross, and my naija boiz are in the same shoes as I am, so no hope there.
And oh, I got bounced from one of my friends places simply cus the guy wan dobo. The whole stiz caused some fight with madam, but well... Anyways the yarinya in question, was drunk as a skunk, I had a lot of wine, but for reasons I don't know, I wasnt drunk. Na so d person wey I go see dey talk say men, "your sleeping here is gonna prevent me from balaing. I look this guy, I said "fine, shey make I go?"
The guy was like, "no now, stay, etc" The yarinya sef dey beg say make I stay, say, "aren't u having fun?" I no wan go back to that box wey I dey stay, so I chilled. Next thing my guys excuse changed to "his flatmate is bringing his friends over and he promised the guy he can sleep in his room"...Na in I waka go my house.
Guilt kan dey worry d guy, so he was like saying, ok ok, In go chill with me at the train station, na in I tell am say abeg, go ur house, cus in my mind, I knew this wasn't from his heart...of course after 5 mins, the guy bade me bye bye and went.
I got to my crib, didn't feel like working, my brain had gone on strike, and to make matters worse....oh, u didn't guess.....anaconda begin dey worry me. Yup, that snake of mine began raising his head, and demanding to be fed..men, the disadvantages of having a conscience, and not wanting to stray. Someone suggested phone s*x....might consider that...So guys, you have all this wahala then add my anacondas wahala, and madams wahala, men, God, save ur son....
I tried mojo, fresh one, with plenty orobos, anaconda no gree, hand sef, the guy no gree. Wetin man go do?
I do not think my friend got to "dobo" anyways.
I will go watch a movie later......and guys, seriously all the suffering here has made me realize that Nigeria isn't such a bad place, like one of my friends yabbed me...na me carry myself go look for MSc.
Laterz!

So far

2008-06-18T11:52:00.000-07:00

Well well, a lot has been happening my people, now its in the middle of June, dont know where to start.
Ok, my love life...is wonderful. Its the most unconventional relationship Ive bin in, you know I am the master of convention, want things in a specified order, but I guess God chose this path for me. My madams tight men, I just remember how it was like when we first saw when I went out to surprise her for her bday.
Now back to reality. I am still working on this thesis of a thing. I have a few algorithms to apply (non geeks, skip this section), and am still going to my work.
Well as per that place, they decided they weren't gonna renew me contract, gave all sorts of reasons, i.e I wasnt interpreting requirements fast enuff, etc etc, so men, I got home feeling depressed...madam had to calm me down and all that, but am cool now.
Imagine me, the crazy nerd doubting his coding skillz....chei...
Now back to my thesis...I got like 4 code rejections from the Phd student am working with, but sha today, I implemented what I think is a right solution, so I haven't gotten feedback...
Today, I met one Chinese dude , who simply began supplying me with companies to apply to..I applied to. Men these Chinese dudes here know whats up ooo, they got so much information and stuff, so I applied to like 6 companies today. The son of man needs a new crib, to import madam and give her triplets lol, and serious cash, screw school men, I don try with 2 yrs MSc, and I'm even gonna be among the first to graduate, if not the first..
My study program with my new course arrangement got approved, so now my gp is 8/10, cus I was overtaking courses, and selected the ones with the best marks...God dey sha.
What else...I went to church on Saturday ooo, for the first time since march. Na because dem do barbeq, so I just dey chop enuff meat. You know now, it means less cooking for me...lol. And I also went to church on Sunday, where there was food now, cus it was church anniversary.
Men, in church there was this chick wearing....no no, I won't blog about this...but men, when she walked by, even one brother in the lord, stopped, bit his lower lip, and looked at the bakassi...I have my madam and I love her to bits, but I had to admit this bakassi was deadly..you cud even see the panties...men I felt the "spirit"..
So men, crazy nerd is running to finish his thesis report on time, and step into the koko of cash, travel and giving madam triplets, ASAP.
Am I crazy...yeah, try doing an MSc in a freak university (Top rated in Europe), and living for 2 yrs in a metal box (Has Internet thank God), and no women, and u go craze. Speaking of things to prevent craze...I haven't gone clubbing in ages...hmm, I need a reminder.
I am growing up sha, Ive learnt that life isn't black and white, we should always give people the benefit of the doubt, make sure you trust with all ur heart, and don't be afraid to let go, and jump in..fear holds you down, but love sets you free.
And as regards to my last post, I don't think Felix has started his "raw food diet"..
And to the haters...Java rocks....screw .NET!

Raw...yeah, Raw and skin to Chicken Skin

2008-06-02T15:08:00.000-07:00

Yes yes I know, I havent blogged in a long time...my people its bin hectic. Your crazy nerd has to work 3 days alongside his Project to pay bills and stuff..ol boi, Jah dey sha. So a lot has been happening, a whole lotta gist. First lemme say madams fine, thanks for asking..shes looking so nice and innocent and stuff, and am proud to have her in my life. Now speaking of madams, I get one gist which will make u laff, and which will make some of you puke.
I got this friend called Felix,a naija guy like moi. We got here together, met at the Dutch Embassy and all, and we kept in touch when we got here, Id go to his crib, spend time and all that, and he did the same. Felix is a nice dude, but he has some very crazy dieting stiz. He's always trying out new experiments. One time it was protein powder. We had to go into one secret corner here looking for it. Thing is when he wants to do stuff like that, he backs it up with "scientific" facts. Then he was like, protein powder is the koko, it helps lose weight...wetin concern me sha.
Now, let me announce to haters that hes my pally, and reads my blog, and I have the license to yab him, so this is no diss post. Now, my friend has some weird chopping habits, which seriously gross me out, such as cooking stew, and then putting the stirring spoon in his mouth...lets just say that us together in the house or kitchen is like ewwww...
Anyways sha, Felix met one hot latino, and I was happy for him, so I went to check him at his new house, which he shared with her, and one other guy..I made them all laff(Naija style), I organized some shayo for them when I was coming and all.
Now felix began to tell me he had one new diet. Wait, ok, guess....guess now..given up? Ok, its...wait for this...""Raw Food".Yup, Felix is like..."wavemasta, Im gonna start a raw food diet"..while I was still attempting to pick my jaw off the ground, Felix began to launch into a tirade on how "scientists" had proved that raw food was good, nice, healthy, etc, and afterall, humankind existed for eons without cooking their food. That weekend, anysmall thing....felix will say "when I start my raw food diet"..ok, check this out.

Wavemasta: Felix, men, (talking about random stuff)
Felix: nuthin dey happen, ehen, when I start my raw food diet...
Wavemasta: entering shutdown mode
Latino chick: Rolling her eyes.
The latino chick kept telling me hes been going on like this all the time...the chick was hot sha, looked like Kelly Hu...but madam don jazz my anaconda, so I no fit do runs ooooo (Joke, Joke!)
Now wait for this..it was Felixs turn to make dinner. When he makes dinner, its like a bad chemistry lab experiment, though his housemates swore that hes a good cook..So he was gonna prepare barbeque chicken. My guy is putting the sauce on the chicken legs and removing the skin from the chickens to apply the sauce directly.
Now guys, if you are the squeamish type, pls dont read, or grab a barf bag, cus the next part of the story is ewwwww.
So my guy is removing the skin from the chicken, and I dont know how my spirit told me he was gonna do what he did....Felix put the chicken skin in his mouth and chewed and eat it....RAW!!!!.
Time stopped..I remember me screaming....then I heard other screams...the latina and the other guy had screamed....we were like "ëwww Gross" my guy begin dey apologize, say sorry, in know say in be beast. Ol boi, thank God say dem see correct person like me, at least as I follow dem shout...dem no go talk say na all naija men dey chop raw food. Anyways, I still chop the shicken, I had to shayo, to erase the memory of the raw food, and yeah it was nice and fun. I jisted madam...she begged me to stop...one of my friends facial expression just changed when I mentioned the chicken skin...yeepa...Me and my friends ehn..
We went to the beach yesterday, and they had bungee jumping. Omo, that thing was scary, esp seeing people doing it. Imagine jumping off a crane with nuthin more than a rubber wire attached to your legs...and it cost 60 euros again. I called madam and threatened to do it....she threatened to break my head...when I sent her the text, she called me back ASAP, straight...lol...who send naija man say make in bungee jump...I also had ice cream pancakes...am just a sucker for pancakes, or pannenkoeken, as we call em in dutch...lol
Ok, lets see,what else, work is going on fine.....I coded for almost 8 hrs 2day...e no easy to be eficco. I'm hoping to finish my thesis this month...And the son of Jah needs cash...no seriously men I need it.
Anyways, if any gist dey, I go yarn una..

2008-05-18T15:40:00.000-07:00

Hey my peeps.. hoped u liked the video. It cracked me up, esp the yahooze part, we get talent for naija oo plenty talent..no shaking. Well,nuthin muchs been happening.
Popsie was a year older today, so I called him and wished him the best. Imagine, dem no get light, na wa oo na gen den still dey use. Seems PHCN (please Hold Condom/Candle Now) is still busting their balls, back home. Im good, madams good, life is generally flowing, sha. My thesis is trying to prove, but I already know the end from the beginning, as per, I wrote my script for 2008 in 2007, so nuthin dey happen.
Well guys, there aint much jist..except for my past activity...which is hunting down some woman who scammed me of some cash on facebook. On facebook market place, she advertised iphone. This was before I went to see madam for her birthday, so I was excited about getting one to rock. After I send money..she begin dey yarn story. First she said she accidentally sent 5 phones instead of one, and they are in transit, say make I pay for all five, or pay for 3, make she pay for the rest....ol boi, na when my naija 419 detector went off....so we have bin dragging this back and forth, I sent the cops after her, but its like shes dissappeared. I sent her a mail, saying, I didnt mind if it took me a week, month, or year, say I go track am down...lol ..too much movie..
Well, if ure on facebook, dnt buy stuff from suzan elizabeth....shes dangerous ..
Anyways, am reading x-men, and its late...safe yall!

Acres of Diamonds

2008-04-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

I just got inspired to blog about this, cus its about how we go looking outside ourselves for happiness and things we already have. Also I have been cranking my brain, looking for a solution to a requirement for this map application I have to work on, without avail...
Anyways..story story, storyyyy, once upon a time....time time (If you aint Nigerian, just skip this line..lol)
There was this farmer who had a nice farm, and was doing quite well. One day, he heard news about how diamonds were found in a far away land.So this farmer sold everything he had..(yup, including his farm of many years), took the cash, and went searching. He searched far and wide and did not find anything. Many years later, thirsty, despondent, and heartbroken, he died a pauper.
Now back at his farm. the new owner was chilling out one day near the stream behind his crib, and he saw a flash in the stream. On checking it out, he saw it came from an uncut stone. He showed it to an expert who followed him back. They found lots of those rough uncut stones which turned out to be diamonds. The whole farm was littered with them. That farm was supposedly the great serengeti diamond mine, and made the owner rich.
Moral of the story....Diamonds are the koko....ok seriously, the moral of this story is that at this very moment, we are all standing in our very own acres of diamonds. Lots of people feel that leaving the marriage,job, or country will make their lives better. It might,in some cases, but most times, we leave the treasure we have to go searching for it outside. So if youre thinking of looking for diamonds somewhere...check and recheck your backyard, and remember diamonds do not look like diamonds in their normal form.
Example..I got back from a nice holiday with madam...my account was in the negative, and I needed to chop. I checked my store, and I found I had enough foodstuffs...so I made some moimoi, and lets see...I still had some chicken left....now I was panicking before.
Today, I had to get to work. I attempted buying my ticket only to be told I had exceeded my limit.
Here I was all kacked up to go..so with faith sha, I went to the train platform.
Then something was like...I could use my chip to pay..its another method of payment, on the same card, but u put money on it, unlike a normal debit card where you just swipe it. When I tried paying, it turned out I still had some cash on it, sooo I was able to buy my ticket...men na God save me cus the controllers checked tickets on the train, and if I messed up, I for hear am.
So guys, as we say in Nigeria...what you went to look for in Sokoto, is inside your Sokoto(Trousers), sometimes you need to just be patient, look some more, do some extra work..and if you really have to go to Sokoto, God will guide you, amen.
Dont worry, more raunchy anaconda stuff is coming up in my next post, I havent gone soft..lol
Might gist u about my trip to see madam, who knows, who knows..

Conversations with my Anaconda

2008-04-03T01:16:00.000-07:00

Well after listening to Dbanjs "Anaconda", I have been inspired to do a post like this, I just never had time. But After all the torment Ive been through, I decided enough is enough. My post is dedicated to all guys who have found themselves in this situation. Welcome to my new post, called "Conversations with my Anaconda". Like Tpain said in "kiss-kiss"...."if you dont get it, u aint still getting it"...You knw what anaconda means and no, am not talking about the movie with J-lo and Ice cube..and even though I am a confirmed orobomaniac, Im sure that anaconda entered the anaconda book of records for managing to touch J-lo....I can imagine them in Anaconda kingdom yarning:

Anaconda 1 (Slithering through the forest): Ohhh boi, how far now

Anaconda 2 : nna men, see as life harsh ooo, we no see human being squeeze n chop,due to our corrupt leaders chopping all d choppables, omo how u enter that movie sef

Anaconda 1: Omo, I just use style enter the studio act as if say I be robot, omo men, that J-lo, sweeetttt...

Anaconda2: If your wife catch u me I no dey....if she go squeeze brad pitt now, your eye go clear..

Anyways I am digressing from the main post which is me and MY anaconda.

Scene 1

wavemasta wakes up in the morning and looks down....Anaconda is awake

wavemasta: ooooooh u this foolish boi, you don start, dis one na early morning

anaconda: Bros u dey mess up big tym, han han e don tey wen I don chop, man shall not survive by hand, mojo and past memories now, han han

wavemasta: Dis guy u be alakoba, make I study, finish this msc, and besides I don become good boi

anaconda: Omo mehn, leave story, which kin good boi, u don forget that runs wey...

wavemasta: Sharrap! Stupid boi (Big lo impression)...

anaconda: Bros u know say my kinda of anaconda only comes once every generation, bros e no good oh..

wavemasta: Trying to focus and think positively...entering shower and going to work

scene 2: (Work)

wavemasta: Writing serious Java code...next thing

Anaconda: NNa bros, han han wetin, make we look some mojo now (Disclaimer...I dont watch mojos @work...Im no saint, but its unethical)

wavemasta: Dis guy, I dey write code

anaconda: Bros since u begin this msc, u don dey slack, han han for naija na so so point n chop we dey do now, wetin, God dey ohhh

wavemasta: Abegi kip quiet, U knw say I get person

anaconda: Dis guy u go reduce my battery life from 2 hours to 10 mins, full tank no good

wavemasta: I always empty the tank manually, nna men, make I work

anaconda: Bros no be by book u dey take catch woman, han han university no teach u anything

wavemasta: Men this anaconda dey talk true ooo, do me I do you, God no go vex...

Scene 3:(Going Home, walking down the road)

(Big fine orobo chick in front..next thing..)

Anaconda: Damn, omo go scope dis chick now, see bakassi...nna chelu, u dey slack oooo

wavemasta: God, which kin anaconda be dis?

(next thing Angel Appears)

Angel: wavemasta don't, ure a good boi...wait on God to provide your partner then u can break ur record of 6 rounds and make it 10

wavemasta: Anaconda: you don hear? angel don yarn d koko

anaconda: Omo, Angel always dey dull runs for boiz..sha when u get home load one mojo make man survive..na so so lepa, dey for this country, instead make u scope woman, u dey do girlfriend, and na so so book u dey do...

Anaconda: Men, I go show you one day, walahi, I go go on strike like NLC

wavemasta: wait wait, no strike now, calm down, ehn, dnt worry, e go better, I get one tite mojo..
Besides If I dont get my MSc, then no cash, and if no cash, no game!

anaconda: Hmm bribery, but I see your point sha, I go allow you rest small

wavemasta: God, abeg, save ur pikin...

Now lemme get back to work ooooo....Agro and full tank no Good, chei!

Shit Bizness: How I repped my country

2008-03-28T02:52:00.000-07:00

I was at work, writing a presentation, then I felt the urge to answer the call of nature. Now wait...don't leave my page, just read on.
I entered the bathroom, and did my thing. The "results" were just average, nuthin special. I now flushed the toilet, na when yawa begin dey gas. When I flushed, one of my "large" results was still there staring at me. In my head I was like (yup, u guessed it....) "Shit!".
If na for naija, I might have succumbed to the temptation of leaving it the way it was, but in this oyibo land, especially me being the only black person at work, omo, I cud not afford to derep naija.
Imagine if they r speakin dutch and goin...."Oh yeah the Nigerian put a huge bomb in the toilet...it was so bad, we all had to use the downstairs branch"..no way jose.
I flushed again, the flushing mechanism chose that exact moment not to work, or pack enuff energy..for my mind I dey think..."omo, this thing wan soap me".
I racked my brains for an optimal algorithm (efficient method, for non computerese speakers) to dispose of my "results". I remembered one of my elder brothers who has lived in jand so long hes got this british accent and acts like a character from "some mothers do have em" (Frank Spencer).
I remember one tym way back, whether na 1999, and I was in his apartment in jand, and I bombed his bathroom, I remember him using the toilet brush to clear the ..er...results,and explaining to my 17-18 year old mind that the toilet brush was meant for that purpose. For me, that was a great "revelation", since I felt toilet brushes were meant for "nicer" things.
So fastfoward to 10 yrs later, crazy nerd looking at his results in the toilet, and I reached for the nice clean white (no racism meant) brush and used it to push the results down the toilet.
I succeeded in hiding the "evidence", but now the toilet brush had shades of brown sticking to it.
I spent 5 mins more rinsing the brush, by now the waters had turned brown, and the brush was looking ok. Now I was faced with a life and death decision.
Do I leave the waters brown as they are, and let the next person find his way, or do I take a risk and flush?
I had to be a good boi and rep my country, cnt have em thinkin we africans are savages...I flushed. Now the bastard had gone down, but he'd left a stain at the bottom. This time, I was prepared. I took some tissue, stuffed it in the toilet, and used the brush this time to clean. Now the brush was "protected".
Finally the coast was clear, and the day was saved, and I preserved the rep of my country by cleaning up after myself and being neat.
Look after urself,and be conscious of urself....for some pple,u mite be the only Naija guy they meet, so u gotta be a good ambassador.
Oh shit.......gotta use the bathroom again.......maybe I will go downstairs this time..

2008-03-24T05:09:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since yours truly blogged..Its bin a combo of not enuff time, and being a lil bit lazy, and also battling with a bit of insomnia. You got that right, I no longer find it easy sleeping at normal hours, but am not a vampire anyways.
Im still on the fast lane, but Ive found my footing and learning how to navigate. Im still holdin on to my dreams of A distinction coupled with madam(wink), and u knw like gabrielle said "dreams can come true". Easter was just there, I did some clearing out of my crib, did some little shopping...yeah I knw my lifes a bit monotonous right now, maybe some action go shele next month.
Now this countrys weather is crazee..it snows in the morning(Which is why I woke up 1 this afternoon...lol), is sunny in the afternoon, rains in the evening. In fact at times all 3 of em can happen in the morning.
Im still here, doing my thing as always...valentines day wasnt so special, but I called madam n let her knw she was loved, and I love doing that.
Now am in my pyjamas wondering what to do. I got code to study, but now am just chilling and about to go on a smallville-athon....it just keeps getting better and better :D , and the son of man needs to relax.
Speaking of the son of man, I watched "Passion of the Christ" in church yesterday, that was scary, Mel Gibson used so so much blood. But really, I'm going to ask God why he didnt use a less gruesome method to save mankind,other than the flogging and getting nailed to the cross. When I get up there we will sit down on a sofa, and have a nice long chat.

Adios amigos!

Fast Lane

2008-02-12T16:13:00.001-08:00

Im now on the fast lane...3 days at work writing code, and the rest of the week working on my thesis....will the son of man survive, yeah he will, thats d name of the game.
Men these pple paid salary, imagine this govt taxed me. Im just doin an internship and they taxed me, kai, see wahala.
Ive got one of my naija friends bunking with me for a while, hes sleeping, snoring like a generator on reserve tank. Anyways he made akara today, so make I no too dey yarn.
But men, in still dey snore. Well, whats bin happening, nuthin much anyways, life is pretty much flowing, am still working on myself, and all that, being the best I can be, and trying not to get addicted to chocolate muffins.
What else is there to say?..........
The office work is cool, after all the coding, we go downstairs and shayo...and cool the brain down......Gosh hes still snoring.......I will use style tiff back my pillow...
guys, am out oh!!

2008-02-04T12:13:00.000-08:00

Guys.......this post is dedicated to God, for all he did for me.
Today men, I got my compiler construction results. Ours was released late because they took their time looking for errors. We got 39/40, for the second assignment. When they didnt find any reasonable errors in our code, they had to formulate one weak error and deduct one mark.
We had 29/30 in the first assignment, for the same reason as above.......and I had 53/60 last year, which is 23/30...I put this in my last years blog post. So this means ur friendly neighbourhood, eficco, fine boi no pimples,who loves his women big, got a 9 (Actually 91/100 if u wanna go by raw score..lol) in the dreaded compiler course.
This was a course that scared my lab partner and I so shitless, I was afraid it would hold us back.....now to God be the glory, Im the highest in my class, except if my partner blasts the exam and gets 10, but who cares...its free shayo for all.
At my place of work today, I finished the assignment they gave me to initiate me into the company. The oga was like, men he expected me to do it in one week, but I used 2-3 days to finish it..now we just have some small things to fix..the guy is like, he's impressed with my progress.This means more responsibility, more cash, more... er....dont worry(wink wink)
I guess all the freaky programs Ive bin coding at my school paid off.....who says school doesnt matter?
We thank God...the vision is coming along..

To my ...... I miss you and wished I cud have shared this with u.

2008-01-28T15:52:00.001-08:00

Wassup pple......I just had to blog about my first day at work...yup, my first day!
Twas cool, got there before 10...Chatted with everyone, then my direct supervisor set me up...so many tasks to do men, apart from the normal coding runs, we also got to do some house chores like fill and empty the dishwasher and all that.
The MD is a nice guy, a sharp man, but well na yankee man, so wetin we go expect?
So in this place, all of them are linux freaks as opposed to me wey sabi windows, so sha, they gave me one wicked computer, formatted it and all that....the guy who set it up just dey act like wizard...but He let me watch anyways....and was also explaining stuff to me.
These guys didnt put me under any pressure, they believed in asking questions and sharing stuff, which is cool, if it were home, some peeps would keep the knowledge to themselves for fear of losing their edge, and in my uni, I cant ask my supervisors any kind of questions before I get accused of not being "independent" enough.
I just gotta write about Nespresso coffee.......damn! Its so good, and the flavor is so tight, I can see why they are an expensive item, and why they had to use George Clooney in the advertisement.....I think I had like 2 cups.
I walked back to the station with one of my ogas, and began applying principles from Brian Tracys audio program "The Luck Factor", where he said that if you want to reach a particular level, find out from someone whos reached there, and do what he did...so I began talking to my new oga about coding techniques, and all of that.
Thank God, one of the craziest eficos in my class is working on almost the same thesis as I am, so at least we can exchange Ideas, and I wont be alone.
On a serious note, one of my exes dropped me an offline, saying she wanted to talk to me, and shed "lost" my number, and I should call her back...I began wondering what on earth she wanted..I was curious at first, so I asked a friend if I cud use his phone to call, and when he didnt have any credit, I just fashied. I wasnt gonna use my hard earned cash to call someone who didnt even know the country I was travelling to, and a lot of all that...and funnily enough, last time I called her (on madams prompting) was last year to make peace, and she hadnt replied or anything since then.
Im not interested in people calling me for "emergencies", and besides I keep my exes in the past, she wasnt even on my messenger and all that...am all for being mature and cordial, but please, let the boundaries be...son of man dont look back...so well...I sorta have an Idea of what the "emergency" constitutes, but omo, I just dey do my thing jare.
Anyways, lifes good....tough tyms have come, and they dont last, but tough people like me last, Jesus is alive, God is on the throne..got a bright life ahead of me....tonight its "Ugly Betty", me reaffirming my goals, and me falling asleep dreaming of how I want to plaster madams face with kisses.
Something funny just happened...I just remembered how I used to enter molue from one place (chei, I don forget the name)..ok, its the area to the right when you come out of unilag gate...I used to walk past one place where they sold fish, and ud see the eels trashing about in the water in the basin, and I used to hold my breath as I passed...that was also where I saw my first lynch victim (Apparently, he stole clothes)....and I remember some other crazy things I wont mention...its amazing how time flies...thank God for taking one forward..
Am out guys...holla!

2008-01-23T13:20:00.001-08:00

whats up people? A lot has bin going on since my last post....Ive had to do a lot of things, but we thank God sha, things are happening ok.
Lets see, I had some little finance wahala where these people here were threatning to send debt collectors after me...it was crazy. The term "Debt collectors" is just a legalized way in this country of organizing boiz to brush you if you owe anyone money, and to make matters worse, you will pay them on top.Chei, oyibo. Anyways it was about cus I missed decembers tuition fee...omo sha, to cut a long story short, I was able to raise the cash, dem go carry their wahala go, Jah is there and will every come thru.
They wanted to now deduct cash for januari when dem neva pay...hmm I go sue them oh!, anyways, its all cool here.
About my thesis, I went to meet my oga prof, the guy liked my yarns, and decided to keep me on the project, then they gave me some more code to re-write...when I saw that thing, I wished I was in naija with star and pepper soup, I was like, these pple wont kill me....but then I listened to the voice inside me, that still small voice that doesnt allow me to settle for less, and always urges me on....that voice that gently reminds me that the thoughts plaguing my mind are just from some jobless demons, and I shouldnt worry......I listened to the voice...and I began to calm down, and approach the challenge from a different angle, and I did that, and today I began to see some results...Ive learnt to thank God for everything even when things do not SEEM to be working, cus tough times never last, but tough people do.
Whatever comes at me, I will keep on, whatever thoughts come at my mind...if I tell u some of the crazy ish these spirits keep throwin at me, but I just know one thing...I am one hungry man, hungry to achieve my goals, hungry to make it, hungry for the good life, and nothing, and no one will stop me....no spirit, or human being or whatever..
Now guys seriously, madam has dissappeared, I for call am, but lets just say my billions are still in the spiritual realm right now, I wonder where she is.
Anyways guys, e go be, I have discovered "ugly betty", and I am enjoying it.
Cheers people, n remember, keep pushing!

2008-01-15T11:06:00.000-08:00

Ok, son of man is writing this from his cafeteria, I think I have bin working here for close to 6 hours straight, fixing stuff in my report, and going through those damn papers, just imagine me doing all that for the rest of my life..God 4bid.
Anyways I managed to arrive at a consensus with the thesis chick, and I have been having a good time so far, yeah ur crazy nerd has bin clearing all his courses, 8 and 9, men e no easy, but the thing is this thesis.....anyways God dey.
People dey tell me say I don dey lean , say make I eat well, hmm, well I suppose cook soup anyways.
Men I gotta work on my sleeping hours, I sleep crazy hours, wake up like 12-1, and then work for 7 hours daily..this ish is freaking me out, yeah I know all that matters are results, but still...I mean I remember a day/morning when I slept 6am, now that aint funny. Let god just see us through and let me run away as far as I possibly can.
I am listening to Jack Canfield.....omo we go yarn later.

All my enemies, somersault and ........(I will think of something)

2008-01-10T12:23:00.000-08:00

Omo men, I am just there....I had a funny day today...seems my thesis supervisor and the PHd student under him decided that I mightnt be able to bring the project to the "desired end" , when this dude told me this via email, I was like WTF?
Ok, lets rewind to last night when I was writing code for this stuff, and I got stuck somewhere and sent her an email(Wrong, wrong!!) and she put me straight, and I was able to pass the first part. She told me in the mail the prof wanted to see me, and I wrote him a mail yest night, then this morning he began misyarning. The profs a cool dude, I kinda think its the chick, cus she expects me to what....work 29 hours in a day?
The prof said she gave me something "relatively easy" (yeah right) to do, and since it took me such a long time, then maybe I should switch topics.
Men, I wrote one crazy mail (naija style) to the guy, he was like, calm down, etc, that if I can answer some questions, etc, he can let me continue.
I do not want to spend an extra day here, , and cus if I do, then I gotta pay extra tuition cash, which I dont want. I mean I had such a small time bracket...I started late october, I had to read a lot of papers, and I was working full time on the compiler construction project, and I handed in 2 chapters for the thesis, then in the middle of it, she drops the coding on me...and I have to read her documentation, understand the system, and now shes telling me Im slow?
And she never told me I was going wrong anywhere...Jah punish all of them, Im getting a distinction out of this school, dem no get craze.
I sleep 5 in the morning at times, cus of all this their stress, I gotta fix my finances, I almost fucking have insomnia for Gods sake...these people want me to become like them, smoking cigars and drinking copious amounts of coffee...thats what the chick does anyways..men like DMX said..."what these B***** want from a NIGGA?"
Anyways I cant do anything on the project, till next week, because I dont know if they are gonna insist on re-assigning me(Then it means I wasted 2 months) or I will continue.
Anyways, I am not shaken , cus I already know the end of the story. I went for another interview yest, And I am expecting the best.
Some old demons from way back are sort of trying to torment me...but blood of Jesus dey. Anyways men, I am at the top already, all this is simply film trick.
On a lighter note, I found maltina in this place....ok not maltina but a malt drink, which reminded me of home, so I dey shack the tin anyhow...
Kai, person press my bell, I think say na fine orobo woman dey my door, instead na small ethiopian man...kai, I miss my country...
E go better, e don betta, nuthin dey happen. Now, I am listening to Brian Tracy...
Cheers guys.

Talking to him....

2008-01-07T10:07:00.000-08:00

Dear God

Thanks for today, and keeping me alive.
I have been here for over a year, and am still alive. I didnt grow mad or anything.
My days seem boring, at times its seems am trapped inside, like in a cage,
But I still got you here, to keep me company.
At times like this, stuff from my past haunts me,beating myself over mistakes Ive made,But I am learning to love myself, on this new level.
Ive decided to focus on you, and whats good in my life, and where you are taking me to.
Ive decided to thank you for everyday, cus its a privilege to be alive.
At times God it seems dreary. Ive reached almost the end of the course, but at times am just tired.
I will thank you very much for everything, and where you brought me from, cus it aint easy. A friend taught me to look at all whats working in my life, and thats good.
Thanks for carrying me over the rough patches.
Help me lord, and thanks for everything.

Thank God

2008-01-05T14:05:00.000-08:00

My first blog of 2008...yeehah!!!I just got to blog this cus today is a special day. My partner and I just finished the second part of the compiler assignment, its a bad ass assignment which has held people back and prevented people from graduating, but men, God made us submit....last year I was wondering how Id cross this bridge, but not only did we cross it, we crossed with the best marks.
Anyways men what else...things are just moving up, I'm enjoying this new level I entered right from 2008, so I am having fun and exploring this...
Laterz.

Looking Back on 2008

2007-12-31T09:28:00.000-08:00

This is another of my "vision posts", so don't get confused....I am basically writing the script for 2008, and looking back at it from the future...

I will always remember 2008, as my year of moving to a new level. I think God laid it on my heart that I was gonna rise higher, cus 2007, was kinda a year of me knowing myself, fighting inner wars and all, and as the year drew to a close, I knew 2008 was gonnna be a blast..
I remember the final pieces of wisdom I got through God from reading some books, close to the end of the year 2007 when I took time off, and realizing I had the power to change my life, in my hands. I remember beginning the year 2008, filled with energy, and all of a sudden things began working out for me like magic. I began attracting new ideas and new innovations for my masters project. I remember my prof being wowed by my ideas, and wanting me to do PHD, but me deferring because of my dreams. 2008 was fun, I began getting 9's in courses I did, and ended up with an average of 8 and above and graduating with a distinction, something which no one in my department had had for ages.
I remember focusing on loving my self and the love I had for madam so intensely it transformed our relationship, and I remember the feeling of getting on the plane to see her, and just being wowed by how she looked so so fine.....we sorted out all issues and had a lovely holiday, and I tried so hard to control myself and not be naughty, but you know me now...
I remember how money just began flowing into my life, and I settled my financial issues in such a little while, just in the beginning of the year.
I look back on myself, and I realize that 2007 was me in a cocoon, and 2008 was when I unleashed... I gained control over my mind and was able to focus it on what I wanted, instead of negative stuff...I also remember 2007, writing down my requests on a form and giving it to someone to pray over it for me in church..
I remember receiving my diploma with distinction, amidst applause from students, and the whole school, and the African community giving me an award, telling me I'd done them proud. I remember my colleagues and classmates looking at me like I was a miracle, they couldn't comprehend it.
I remember calling madam n telling her the good news, and telling her thanks so much, and she was so stunned that she cud have that effect on someone else..
I discovered what I like doing, and landed my dream job, earning millions, and everyone in my family, and around me knew I was able to stand on my own...I could travel wherever, and do whatever...
I remember people using my whole life story to illustrate that life does not give you what you deserve, it gives you what you demand, and hold with the power of your mind.
It illustrated that you can get whatever you want in life as long as you do not give up. I remember the joy I felt as success after success just began pouring into my life, as if the heavens just opened, whereas the blessings had already been there, they were just waiting for me to open the door.....
Gotta go, madam is rubbing my stomach again, she needs serious spanking.....wink wink

2007-12-25T14:57:00.000-08:00

Yeah I'm back,got too many things on my mind......had wahala with the madam, basically its over, yeah. Dnt get it wrong, it had happened before but trust me, I was trying to look for reasons and do damage control.....lets just say my instincts told me there was a reason apart from what she mentioned and I was right.......I did blame myself, I was an ass, but well, I gotta just press foward and focus on the koko(graduation and excessive cash), painful sha ,cus men I neva lurved b4, but.....I don't wanna quote Eminem here...
So I'm thinking about so so many things, learning d lessons, tryina 4get the details..Well I will make myself better n improve.....and still keep my self respect. Cus I knw peeps who do worse..some very hurtful things were said, by her, and by me also, hey, when I screw up, I admit it men, I dont claim holy...but some of those things that were said by her hurt like hell. Seems lyk relationships for me only work if I want a short term thingy,then most of the stuff which made me an ass wouldn't have occurred cus I wudn't give a damn, but for serious relationships, issues, and gbege just come up.......anyways men, I still chop chicken and small wine for xmas, we gats to gyrate small....There were things said I shouldn't have said, and things done that I shouldn't have done..but I don't regret it happening, it was cool, funny, strange, and fun while it lasted,If I had a choice, I'd do it all over, so sweets, if u read this....its a pity u got ur mind set, and I cant force u, my previous attempts to beg u ended up with me being treated like a pest..am sure it was a matter of time b4 u brought out "Raid" pesticide.

Anyways on a lighter note, I found this tight video by a group called "Resonance", and its called "chinwe Ike", tight gospel jam, feel the video..

xmas post

2007-12-25T02:22:00.000-08:00

Merry xmas to all. I am feeling quite lazy, but son of man just feels the need to write down something today. I'm at my bros place, thank Jah they have wireless, so I'm still connected to my lifeblood(The Internet). Todays bin cool so far, bin playin with my little nephews, I got some xmas presents, in the form of a cd holder, and some pjs..Am so thankful to God, cus I know back home, some pple are just celebrating xmas under bridges, so I am grateful to him, and the reason for the season(his son Jesus Christ).
I have had a lot of time to reflect over 2007. 2007 was a year of discovery, a year of love, joy, pain, and sorrow. One of those periods a person has to pass through, when he comes face to face with the darkness within, and faces himself, and battles it out, for change. A period when I met and maybe pushed away an angel, a period where lessons were learnt, when I learnt who I really was inside...
Now its xmas day, 2007. Your crazy nerd has spent 1 yr and 5 months in this foreign land......I am so different from the dude who stepped off the KLM flight from Nigeria, almost 2 yrs back.
God has brought me through so many things, loving me for me, teaching me lessons, bringing me through trials. Now I have finished all my coursework, including courses where pple fail and are held back. Now its just that I want to improve some grades (u know say Naija man be greedy man).
I know am gonna graduate from here early next yr, with a distinction hopefully, get to the next level, amen.
I am gonna enjoy this holiday cus when I get back to school, I am gonna work like I have never worked before, so I get out.
I gotta reach the top, its just my destiny. Heck, I already at the top, I'm just securing my inheritance...
Then I just pray God helps me meet the one special person, and make all the hurt Ive caused go away.....

I got stuff for 2008, but I will leave that till then.

Merry Xmas everyone.......make I try out em pyjamas....oh I 4got, its just about hitting 12 noon....lolz

2007-12-19T05:49:00.000-08:00

Omo men, enough things have been happening to son of man, e no easy. Firstly I am doing this thesis of a thing. In this school, you cannot afford to ask foolish questions of your supervisor, make in no think say you be mumu, so most times, we are just in the dark, or basically, we are forced to think for ourselves. I guess its good training.
Well sha, son of man has his issues, I gotta think about making extra cash, sorting out my life, planning where I wanna be after this, etc.
As per the cash, I found out the money the school was payin for tuition and the cash I am getting for my thesis isnt enough to pay rent and tuition combined together. Imagine them, awon ole(tiff), they r deducting more than they give me, and making out the extra as "Health Insurance", shey dem tell me say I get sickness? I be african man now, I no fit sick. So I am in negotiations to work out something, like a job, etc.
I had a sort of arrangement with my coordinator but the man don tire, in don transfer to another school, so son of man dey on in own.....
Xmas is coming, and like always, all I can say is that men, make all this festivities be gotten over with and all. I desperately need a haircut, but the clipper wey I bring from naija don spoil, now I resemble animal.
Paying the price for what you wanna achieve ain't easy, Last nyt after a hard days work of coding, I felt a bit low, esp as I had seen just 2 digits in my acct. I now hollaed one of my boiz in naija, men the guy dey inside party, dem dey blast "yahooze", damn, I wanted to just quench, bros dey kill his ass on top foreign Msc, and guys dey baraje somewhere. Anyways sha, its all good.
About my relationship or whateva, well sha, its on hold for now, I've tried all I can, and its takes 2 to "tongolo". I'm here whenever she needs me, but I got to sort out my own ish. All I am doing now is trying to be responsible and stay outta trouble. I have just been turning down invites to shine congo, of course its "pay as u go", but well I gotta be responsible, but e no easy, serious aggro dey hook the son of man, and no be book go warm person for this winter season.
Anyways sha, Jah go everyly support his own, he is faithful, so nuthin dey happen.
Its good to hustle hard like Nas said, and neva give up.....and like a person dear to me once told me..."its when ure close to the finish line that it seems tougher."
Anyways, I know its just gotta work out, everything good just has to come my way...thats the way it is.

Revelations

2007-12-12T15:46:00.000-08:00

This is just a short overview of stuff thats been happening anyways. Today , my partner and I finished the second part of that crazy compiler construction assignment, this is thanks to waking up at crazy hours and working like dogs, but we are done. Now it is certain that your friendly neighborhood nerd is gonna graduate next year. I got this weakness when It comes to solving problems and projects. Yeah, the great eficco i.e me, has a weakness, and its that I get intimidated when I am faced with a large project, then I get anxious and panicky, but the thing is that somehow I always pull through, I dont know why. I was walking around in my room, and I stumbled across a universal principle which I will share with you.

The thing is that in this world we live in, we got principles that have been tested over time, and the principle is that if I want to move from A to B, and I take steps to move me 4ward each day, I must (MUST) eventually reach my destination. I heard this like a voice in my mind, and I was agonizing over the snail-like speed at which my project was moving. So I am gonna just relax, and put in steps everyday to make sure I move 4ward, now I know I'm gonna leave here next yr...YAY!
Now enough of the deep yarns, well whats being happening, I'm trying so hard to get my madam back, this is someone I had this deep spiritual connection with, so bad that when I felt it was broken I lost control and fell into the lowest pit of human depravity, anyways Im trying to get her back.....I talked to Jah about it, and asked him for wisdom to do the right thing, and I am sure he has done it. I feel so cut off and detached, its crazy, but sha God na your eye we dey look.

They have paid me for my thesis both for November and December, so thank God I can pay my rent, and do my laundry for the first time in 3 week (Abeg no laff oh!) . Also today it seems as if I was destined for a lot of revelations, cus I attended this lecture by a prof from MIT called Ken Morse and he stimulated my mind with so many ideas. I feel now my life has a direction and I know where I am going, and I can feel now that my life is gonna be different, and I won't just be another flash in the pan. Anyways Xmas is coming around soon, and I have no plans yet, maybe to go chill at my Bros place, and all, then new year, I would still be at my Bros place and then Later I will go to some friends place and then chop his turkey....
Anyways men, whatever will be will be, and God will bless us all.....

just there

2007-12-08T05:05:00.000-08:00

I want to write this before I go hunting for dodo in the Arab shop...Men, a lotta stuff has been happening in my life....so much that I cannot even begin writing em here, since people know who I am an what my blog is about. Lets just say that I recently broke an Iron clad principle of mine, and Its difficult for me to 4give myself, but anyways sha. What about the madam? Well lets just say that I don't know, really men, I'm just in a crazy state right now......
Anyways sha, what else has been happening? My thesis project is moving along slowly and steadily, and I guess Gods bein tryin to make me cool down and not panic when I look at the sheer amount of work facing me, Instead I just gotta break it down and take it little by little. Its December, and I have spent over a year here, omo son of man wants to just graduate and move on men...
A lot of things disturb me about the future, the thing is that I am good academically (Haters, na you sabi), and Im also good in the field.....and the choice is whether to think of a PhD or just go and work, of which I got very nice offers.
The thing is that while having a "Dr" title appended to your name sounds realli realli cool, I aint sure about spending another 4 years away from Naija.....and I want cash, cold hard cash, and Im not ashamed to say it. I also want to like start up a company and other ish, and get married in like 2 years , yes now, agro is not good oh!! In this white man land, if u get full tank and you no fit unload, men you go do some kin things.
Another thing is the lonliless you feel here, even though people say you might get used to it, but I'm a social person, and that has been hard for me to adjust to. Imagine waking up in the morning and looking at the four walls of your room, no one to talk to except God, and everyone around you is carrying their own cross, and thinking , "Öh crap, I have to write code."
I also dont want to be a stranger in my own land......I dream of lekki mansions, hummer jeeps, and carrying my girlfriend/fiancee/wife to watch Jazzman olofin, p-square, and Night of a thousand laughs. Am I crazy...nah, just a realist, who knows what he wants. I'm scared I might do the academic thing, maybe when I get a distinction here, I might get pressurized into doing it, I might lose my chick (if I havent lost her already) cus she might want to get married and all, and 4 years of my life go just go like that, ontop kpali, and on the other hand, I don't want to be thinking, hmmm na wa oh, " Dr " in my name sounds nice.
Anyways sha, for now, I have chosen the way of getting a job and seeing what life has to offer. I gots to get pepper, thats the main koko. If you need inspiration, just listen to Akon (The sweetest girl), and hear what he said abt cash... :-)
Yeah, I know cash can't buy happiness, but this eficco here knows that its better being unhappy in a Mansion, and feeling the blast from a samsung AC on your body, watching Television from your new Phillips Aurea TV, than for you to be unhappy inside one face me I face you, at the mercy of PHCN, and living in a room close to the public toilet which no one flushes.
Anyways, I gotta go and shop. My scholarship guys are messing up again, and the monthly payment for my thesis hasnt come in, so I better go and buy beans and plaintain (thank God for arabo), so son of man no go starve.
Safe y'all.

Little by Little

2007-11-24T04:10:00.000-08:00

Its being a while and so I decided to simply drop a note, to people who do ( or not) visit my page. I feel that I am making slow and steady progress winning the battle over some of the issues that have being plaguing me, even the buried ones.
After my relapse last week, I was literally chilling in my cafeteria (since It was pretty cold ) feeling down and a friend came online, and I just talked about some of it, and the friend told me what I had suspected....that I simply thought too much. So I decided to take things easy on me, and just pray to God that things work out.
I have also learnt to speak to myself, and just convince myself to take things easy. I also look back at all the things God has done in my life up till this point, and well I thank him also. Sometimes I wake up on a morning like today, and then I get these thoughts about issues and depressing ish trying to crowd my mind, but then I simply begin to speak to myself, telling myself that all this is for a short while, and that I will look back over all these so called issues, and laugh over them.
I am discovering a lot of things, one of which is that one cannot have all the answers to every question, which is why we aren't God anyways...Its another thing I am working on, because I have a very curious mind.
Anyways I know that by his grace I am slowly and steadily climbing up the stairway to success. About my woman, you ask? Well we are fine, all relationships, (especially ours since it's pretty unique) have their share of ups and downs, but we pretty much dialog and sort things out. I'm learning not to worry and well I am expecting the best. Now I gotta go and review some papers for my final thesis.
Cheers everyone!

I'm tired of me

2007-11-17T14:13:00.001-08:00

Yeah you heard that.....thats the title of this post......and I mean what it means.
Now let me let it all out and explain, because I'm gonna pray about it right now, but anyways... Theres something I have been struggling with, and its not any weird addiction or any bad thing so don't worry. Its a personality thing in me, like anger for instance (but its not anger) and the thing is that I just discovered it this year, with someones help.
Since I discovered that thing about me, Ive tried to combat it. Ive prayed, fasted, and all that. I try to think positively and channel my mind towards other things, but no, it surfaces after sometime and all that. And the thing is that it doesn't just affect me, but it affects others around me.
I try so hard , and get so far, but in the end it doesn't really matter (Linkin Park).
I'm tired of rising , and falling, and I am tired of me.
Ive asked myself why I'm this way, but self pity won't help, I just wish I knew when I was gonna change.....and oh, I have bin on this for like months now, and I am just tired.
My spirit tells me to keep on , and not to give up on me, and that things are going to be better, but it doesn't look or seem that way.
I had people I cud talk to about it, but even they are tired of me and hearing about it from me, and even the people it affects aren't even happy when I make baby steps of progress, cus its like I'm taking one step fowards, and two steps back....
I am all alone with myself here, and it's like everyones telling me, "ÿeah deal with it". The bad thing about this is that its standing in between myself, and the best thing ever happening to me. Its potentially dangerous and could destroy my happiness, and I know it, and am combating it, but it's like am not making any progress.
I need help, please God help..
Anyways, on a lighter note, my clubbing experience yest was nice, I entered a naija club in Amsterdam, and was dancing "Kolomental", I love being naija....no one like us, we d bomb!

2007-11-15T13:58:00.000-08:00

Well, a lot has been happening to me since my last post. It's been okay, so far so good and we thank jah for his mercies. A significant event happened, I am or sorta in a situation, and there was a time I had to ask God if I should go foward or back out totally. I had told him that if he himself didnt stop me then I wasnt gonna back out....and there was a time I thought he had shut the door, and that it was all over, only for things to resolve themselves in a miraculous way, which made my day.
So I'm still going foward, and I'm trusting what he said that "better is the end of the matter than the beginning".
Ok, enuff with the spiro yarns, men, lets see, I got my thesis project sorted out, cus men I need to graduate from here, and make cold hard excessive cash. If you think money is the root of all evil, men thats your problem. See and watch me while I blow dust in your face with my new Aston martin vanquish, with my woman in the passenger seat....yeah!! Lets see, oh, what has been happening to me of recent?
I was reading this cool book by my guy Brian Tracy called "getting rich your own way", and at a point in the book he asked us to write down three of the most important goals in our lives right now. I stopped and did that, and man, I must tell you I feel different.....its like I'm focused like a homing beacon. Anytime some other mad thot tries to mess up my head, I just think to myself........"Man, remember the koko, and focus, focus". Wait, it gets better. Brian now asked us to write down 100 things you would do or achieve if you have made all the money you want..he said doing that would attract our super concious minds, or something. Well I didnt know about superconcious, but since I believe I practicing stuff I read, I spent like 3 hours on that exercise.....it was a real eye opener for me, and a true test of how badly I wanted to get what I wanted.
A lot of people want to be rich, and reach the top, but for most its just a dream, cus they dont want it badly enough. If you can, stop reading and do the exercise, I dare you....write down 100 things you will do or achieve if you get the kinda cash you always wanted. My woman said she might only go past 20, but thats ok, cus part of the money will be spent making her happy, and maintaining the orobo figure. Lepa is a sign of poverty, and I bind any spirit of lepacitis around me in the name of ........ AMEN!!! 2007/2008 is my year of divine oroboprovision, and all my enemies moving against that should fall down by fire!!!
I bin getting interviews from companies for some part time work, but I haven't seen any to my taste, anyways men, jah dey, nuthin dey happen. My academics are going on well, and my baby persuaded me to take one course to occupy my mind when I was going through some depression, and I ended up blasting the course with 7, when everyone else was getting 6, and the prof wey dey take this course na hard man, so with this I was able to fill up my elective space on my study program. It's good to have an angel in your life.
Tomorrow night, I shud be clubbing in Amsterdam........don't worry nothings gonna happen (wink,wink)

My Dream II 2020AD

2007-11-01T16:07:00.000-07:00

"Sir the meeting is about to start", I glance up started out of my reverie. I watch my secretary close the door behind her. I relax in my leather swivel chair, and move around. In front of me I look at a picture frame of my wife and kids, and I ponder on how extraordinary my life is. Oh, I forgot my manners again, I am wavemasta, and I'm CEO of my own company, Genesys Solutions. We are an IT service provider, and consultancy firm, and the best in the business I might add. People used to think I was some wizard for my uncanny talent at solving real -life issues and problems, but now I'm way up in management, so I don't get to get my hands as dirty as I would like....
As the cool air from the air conditioner hits me, I cant help but look over my life....to those crazy days when I was doing my MSc, and I had so many issues, coupled with the challenge of getting an extra job, and still managing to graduate with a distinction. I also remember meeting my wife in a most unconventional way, and having to deal with so many issues inside myself, I remember feeling torn apart when she said she was leaving, and having to put myself together....I remember taking a plane to see her, and staring into her eyes for the first time, feeling lost inside her dark eyes, and not knowing what to say to her...I remember not knowing if I was doing the right thing, but only having to listen to God leading me on a path I or others had never being on before.
Yeah, I had some crazy days...I remember the day I swore never to doubt myself, and believe in myself, and see myself as Jesus made me...I remember going for an interview and acing it so well, in spite of all the doubts the devil threw at my mind...
Yeah, it just goes to show that you can get anything you want when you hold on long enough, even baba God will be like "omo leave am alone".
I remember gaining the respect of the people in the company, and rising like a star to the top of my career...I remember earning cash, and visiting my chick, and rocking town with her and my friends....yeah I remember the joy that comes with enjoying the fruits of your labour.
I remember the devil trying to take my life and steal my joy, and telling me the darkness wouldn't end. I remember him telling me I'd never be happy, and that I would always sabotage myself, and push away those things or people that really mattered to me...but look at me now....CEO of my own company, married to her, rocking my life well....I can go where I want , where I want, without any embassy's wahala.
I remember those times back then, wondering how I would cope, asking myself what I was doing in that country where people pronounce 'G' as if they were spitting from their throats....
I look back to when God told me I was unique, and that I wasn't expected to accept limits placed on me by society, religion, or anything, and that I had to break free from tradition to be who he made me... I remember feeling cool with myself writing that vision down, but the pain and agony I felt during the transformation into that person...
I remember standing up my family and them respecting me whether they liked it or not, I remember them respecting my decisions, and my stance on issues, and I remember how good I felt...
I remember how people used to ask me how I got so confident, and what I had going for me, and I'd just say na Jesus...
Ok yeah time for my meeting, gotta run now, I will talk about some other memories later.

Long thing, strong thing

2007-10-24T02:30:00.000-07:00

Ma peeps, whats up, no long thing, strong thing.....er sorrry, Dbanj has been corrupting me and all that. Well I havent been so motivated to update my blog and all, but well a lotta things have been happening, since I wrote "eye of the storm". I discovered that if ure in the middle of a storm, omo men waka comot from the storm oh, take shelter!!! Ok sha, seriously, Life is too short, and whatever will be will be, so men dont kill urself. Now After a lot of thinking about my future and what I would do when I graduate, I placed my CV in a very "strategic" spot, now I got companies calling, me telling me they got interesting vacancies for me.
I just had to tell them that Im doing my thesis right now, so If they can wait till next year, no probs men.
Yesterday was also good, I got a call from a global company, with a branch in naija, which everyone in naija would kill to work for....and my partner(lab-partner oh!), and I finished the first part of the deadly compiler construction assignment, and this course is one that has held back even some of my indian mentors, so we thank God for his grace.
Well things are happening, I am looking foward, determined to face my life squarely, and all that. Its based on a conversation I had with God......I pulled out a chair, and made the old man sit down,while I yarned him some seriously deep koko. No, I did pull out a chair. The old man and I yarned about a lot of things, which I aint gonna talk about, except one of them had me feeling like something had been ripped out of me this morning. Well I have asked him for the strength to do what has to be done, thats if he wants me to make some crazy choices.........damn, Im rambling again.
You know one thing about this place is that I have been waking up at some crazy ass hours, like 11.30. I used to feel guilty till I found out that my greek partner has bin doing the same thing.
Cmon, I almost worked meself into the ground last year, so son of Jah needs to enjoi.
I was complaining abt the loniless here, to someone, and the guy was I should go look for a chick......I was like, well I didnt want to take advantage of anyone, and he's like, dude, some pple want to be used.......that touched a raw nerve inside me, for reasons I wont mention, but its crazy, but maybe he had a point, I dont know.
Anyways sha, God, dey, Im moving foward, nuthin dey happen, no long thing, long thing, strong thing.(I think I need help)

Eye of the storm

2007-10-09T15:21:00.000-07:00

In the eye of the storm, Raging all about me,
My most precious treasure about to be torn from me,
My enemies seem to chortle with unholy glee,
Still I stand calm and determined.
I cry to God, and listen to my spirit,
Telling me to hang in and not give in to it,
Telling me the mountains are gonna become like plains,
And that all the obstacles are gonna disappear.
God Im stumbing in the dark, without any illumination,
Wondering if Im still using my full mental constitution,
God, Am I doing the right thing, I ask?
Press on, the inner voice tells me back.
Devils and Doubts speaking to my head,
Telling me my desires will not be granted,
That I will always be supplanted.
Telling me that once again, that inner fabric of me shall be rendered.
God, to your perfect will I have surrendered,
Determined to hold on to the very end,
Through thick or thin, and whatever mountain,
Still I will hold on and keep on fighting,
Never quitting, and strength undying,
Cus I know I must keep holding on,albeit all alone,
Even in the eye of the storm.

I wrote this to describe my present situation, unfortunately, I cannot give any details, except that what I consider the best thing ever in my life, seems about about to be taken from me. I am still keeping on till the end, and fighting on, hoping against hope........

2007-10-05T02:16:00.000-07:00

I am hunched in front of a PC in my lab, thinking of what to type........wondering what to type, simply cus I havent typed anything in a long time.
Well I first gotta say I am extremely grateful to God, that I am alive. The gift of life is something we should never take for granted. To just wake up in the morning is a blessing on its own.
Right now, I am in a stage in my life that could be described as a lull....... Im making progress little by little which is a good thing. My financial problems were solved, thank God, now I am my former self. In 2 weeks time, I should have finished all my electives, aand then I will just have 1 course left, before I can claim freedom.
Im still looking for a final project in a company though, but Im confident things will pan out.
All I know is that this whole studying abroad thing has bein so good for me, Ive being stretched, and I think Ive matured in all areas of my life............its amazing what can happen to you when you are far away, and all alone by yourself.
Right now, Im working on myself and my relationship with my babe..........weve come through a lot together, and faced a lot of challenges..........I feel shes the one, and hope so, but well, Gods the centre of my life right now, so whatever he says, I submit.......
Ahhh shit (I said that to let u know say my leg still dey ground), I feel tired, I am gonna watch some movies, and all......
I havent gone clubbing in ages, I should go out after my exams, so far, things are going on great, Im alive, and well, I got a lot to thank God for.

2007-09-27T09:09:00.001-07:00

Its been a while, a long while. Lots of stuff have been happening, you all know I lost a friend a while back, committed suicide.....RIP man, though there was another way.
Lets see, we are in a new academic year, Im trying to finish the rest of my courses, my girlfriend keeps nagging me to succeed. What else, Im fighting spiritual wars in my head, its like im being bombarded from all sides, and I cant say anything cus I dont want to be thought of as mad,(happened yest), I had to go into my prayer closet and pray like mad.
Yeah I am still hunting for a thesis project in a company. All of a sudden I am tired and I want this bloody program to be over. In fact, ehn, let me not talk. The place is lonely, but well I got God for company. Like I said I am not spiro......wasn't born to do the whole I dont do this, touch this, wear this, etc, but I believe in Jesus, and I follow him as an individual, not imitating self-righteous freaks.
Went to look at a company today, and while they were doing some nice stuff, it wasnt exactly what I was looking for. Ehen, today at the train station, I saw this naija woman, who I knew earlier, the one who made us install XP on her system some time back, whose kids speak both dutch and their native language. I wont mention her tribe so that people dont crucify me, but nna men, you guys can take a guess.
Men as I was speaking to her, I just realized she had pancaked herself men, pancake to the max. Im sure she would have given the late stella obj, a run for her money. Her face was like a mask, totally a different color from the rest of her body. I was supposed to be talking to her, but all I could say in my mind was hey, na ojuju be this?
Please ladies, if you wanna attract men, painting ur face like a masquerade wont attract guys oh! (But if she has some structures, well I might decide to bypass the mask..........oops I got a chick....just remembered)
Im retaking a course I passed last year, just to improve the grade, and Im doing the first assignment, and wondering, why I decided to stress myself.....
Im wondering that if my relationship crashes(which it wont), Im gonna lock myself up inside and never let anyone in again....
What else? The african party will soon be over, its holding this saturday, soon I wont need to be running around collecting contributions.
Whew...well I have nothing more to say....I got rice, and chicken, soooooo I am off to wack.

akom proverbs

2007-09-09T07:49:00.000-07:00

Those of you who read my blog would remember my erithrean friend who I have christened akom, cus thats how he pronounces akons name. I have decided to write a bit about some of the funnythings hes said and done .........enjoi

Today: wavemasta is in the lab and trying to do assignments on sunday afternoon. Next thing he hears celine dion(my heart will go on) playin in the background.

wavemasta: No, No, not celine dion! Shes the last person I need to hear right now

akom: you dont like it?

wavemasta: No.

akom: I want to marry her, but shes married to an old man.

friday night party:

akom: Hey are there free girls at the party?

wavemasta: No, leave me abeg

akom: We must see lots of girls

Now in the party, im dancing, and just chilling out, next thing, like a ninja, akom appears beside me.

akom: I wanna dance with you

wavemasta:(moving away from akom sideways faster than usher+micheal jackson ) WTF?

akom: Let me dance with you

wavemasta: I think the girls are right in front of you.....(He cudnt have been drunk cus the beer
was diluted)

Friday night in the lab

We are all discussing, me, a friend from kazakhstan called V, and my bolivian friend M. And of course akom.

akom: V I have been waiting for you.

V: why?

akom: I am in love with a girl from kazakhstan, and you are the only one who can introduce me.

V: Who is she? Is it the one in first year?

akom: yes it is, I like her

V: Sorry, shes married and has a 3 year old son.

at this point, everyone begins laffing at akom, and you could see his expression change.

Gosh, this was the same dude we psyched that the beef he was eating one time was snake meat and that if he eat it he would grow in wisdom.......

Right now as im typing Ive psyched akom that im a muslim (no offence to my Islamic brothers), and that my muslim name is Ahmed.........ok now I really need to work.

Akom...........men you rock!!

Conversations in an elevator

2007-09-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

After eating free food at a church barbeque, I went to check on my chinese brit friend.......K. So I got to the complex, and made him get his lazy ass downstairs, to open the door. So we began gisting and all......I didnt feel like going back home, and all that, esp as it would have looked so depressing. We were discussing my finances, and then he mentioned asking B for help. When he made that suggestion, I offered to use him to disprove the law of gravity by throwing him off a building like in galileos experiment. He then replied......."Im a christian, so Im immune to gravity."(obvious joke by mel gibson in the family guy)
We were inside the building at this time, and were about to step into an elevator, and I was like "Its like saying, I dont belive in death since im a christian, and Jesus rose from the dead", which of course dosent work.
We entered the elevator and our conversation went thus:

K:Look the church has been obstructing science for a long time.

Me: Oh please they were really weird people

K: yeah but they were still church

Me: They must have had some weird brain function, caused as a result of celibacy, and lack of...er...er

By this time the chick in the elevator was staring at us with an incredulous look on her face, she wanted to laugh, but I think she was just being polite.

K: So youre saying that the church did what they did because they werent getting laid

Me: yes

Ok,by this time. the woman began laughing, and K and I got off the elevator and hi5-ed each other. That was just a lil bit of messing around, nothing special.

But seriously men, seriously, I think not getting any over a period, might be detrimental to one's health.........hey cmon, Im only kidding!

Oh and I got this picture off the net, and Im sure you all are gonna laugh when you see this:

The Caption is African Ipod.....LOL